My Dreams aren't as Empty
by penpaninuSessh
Summary: ....as my conscience seems to be.' A young boy trapped in a loveless life, hardening his heart by all means to survive. Can Yui and Miaka save him? A Nakago reincarnation fic.
1. Chapter 1

Penpaninu here! I had this idea from the song "Behind Blue eyes" (the original, not the Linkin Park version) and that maybe if Nakago were helped early in his last life, he woudln't have, you know, tried to take over the heavens and two worlds. Turned into a greedy bastard, didn't he? Oh well, at least it had a reason….I went through the whole series screaming at the guy to get offscreen, then I cried at his demise. See, if he had help, he wouldn't have been such a bastard!

I don't say his actions are excused, I just understand them better. Anyway, here's a fresh start for him. This chapters mainly setting up what Miaka and Yui are doing, and a surprise Seiryuu seishi makes a last second reborn appearance.

Anyway, I chose the name Naisen as it started with an 'n' (original, ahem I know) and he's a kickass character in the Mantis clan (tm Legend of the Five Rings, AEG). A man in charge of his own destiny and Naisen should be for what he's getting now.

Please review!

"My Dreams aren't as Empty"

by penpaninu

Sukunami Miaka did not attend college courses to be a guidance counselor or teacher as her husband had. She was content to stay at home with their son, Hiroshi, and witness his every development with joy. She would proudly display his daily accomplishments to Taka once he returned home from work.

Days off from the middle school Taka worked at ensured family outings and trips, allowing the couple to enjoy their son with the world. Then on Monday it would be off to the school. Once Hiroshi was old enough to be enrolled in the grade school attached to Taka's middle school, Miaka was more flexible o help her husband at work. She did not have a teaching degree, but she had a ready willingness to help.

The principal, Sumiyoshi Masarou, loved Miaka's cheerfulness and allowed her to organize, take calls or type. Whatever loose work that needed to be done, Miaka did willingly and cheerfully. She even was able to sub for the secretaries officially if they were under the weather.

Mr. Sumiyoshi paid her even if she had not the prerequisites as she was a joy for their colleagues and students.

With alittle pleading on her part, and a friendly nudge form Taka, Sumiyoshi even hired Yui as a part-time guidance counselor. Yui was dating Tetsuya , who didn't' like her to work too often. But Yui was glad to talk to the innocent grade-school children and mischievous middle-schoolers. And she could have her lunch break with Miaka, Taka and the other teachers and staff.

Yui had majored in psychology in college, mainly due in part to the anguishes of her celestial seishi. She felt she could have understood and helped them better. So now she was trying her part to help troubled children.

And be close to Miaka, Yui felt that Taka could use all the help he could get to keeping an eye on her.

One afternoon Yui was counting down the clock for she was eager to meet Tetsuya for a date. Things were getting serious and while she loved him dearly, it was frightening her how much he wanted her to be with him forever. She was sure something was wrong with her, but she needed more time. Tetsuya could only understand.

"Ten more minutes," Yui murmured and tucked a long lock of hair behind her right ear. A blue earring shone in her lobe and she tapped it softly.

Just as Yui was picking up her purse to slide out early, the door rasped open impatiently. Damn, so much for getting out early, or maybe even on time.

"I don't know what you were thinking hitting Taro that way, he claimed you began the argument and…. don't you ignore me!" Yui rolled her eyes then plastered a smile on her face to greet a frazzeled third year teacher and her charge.

Blond hair hung into clear blue eyes and a bland expression greeted her.

'Cheery little guy,' Yui thought. He wasn't sullen though… he put on a nonchalant air easily for being only eight. It wasn't to annoy the teacher, Yui was sure of it. It was to keep everyone away, period. Time to do the job. Tetsuya would have to wait.

"How do you do? I'm HongoYui. What is your name?"

Before the boy's lips could part, the teacher answered for him.

"This is Shindou Naisen and he raised hands to one of his classmates!"

Yui winced at her shrill tone yet kept the smile on. Just barely. The boy's blond hair was intriguing though. Did he have European parents or was it just dyed?

"Is that so, Shindou-kun? Well…" Yui stooped down to smile at him. "We can talk about it or there will be a punishment. Which would you prefer, Shindou-kun?"

Blue eyes looked up from under his bangs and pierced his counselor sharply. Yui's earlobe burned and she took a deep breathe not to gasp aloud. Miaka spoke of reincarnation… particularily of their seishi, and Taka was every example to prove this. But she never thought that hers could….

"I'll receive the punishment." Naisen said calmly. He pushed his hands into his pockets and stared past Yui's shoulder, seemingly content with his decision.

"Why you little!…"

"Admirable, Shindou-kun…" Yui stood up and smoothed her skirt out. It couldn't be…he was so young, and well maybe…not vulnerable. But he was so young! Still learning about the world. Yui decided to take the educator's angle and decided to help him learn something from her for a change. "…but I think we should talk about it. We should take time out of your afternoon lessons tomorrow. Is 1:00 alright?"

The teacher sputtered but nodded, consenting to the offer.

"Very well…" the bell rang and Miaka cheered loudly from the front office. "I shall see you tomorrow, Shindou-kun."

Shindou Naisen shrugged and followed his teacher back to collect his things.

Yui sat down to think. Could her seishi truly be reborn? They weren't all clean-cut as Suzaku's chosen, and half weren't as loyal as to look at her. But if it was Nakago… he needed help. And this time she could give it to him before it was too late.

"Yui!…Yui-chan! What are you doing? The bell rang!" Miaka sang out, halting in her tracks. Yui hadn't responded and she had been prattling for a good minute now.

"Yui? Are you okay?…" only did her friend shake her head, coming back to the present.

"Miaka-chan…sorry. I just had a thought…"

"Well you better hurry, or Tetsuya will worry," Miaka smiled, patting her shoulder. Yui nodded and collected her purse. She glanced out the office window. Light from the setting sun flashed off flawless blond hair as a small figure walked home by himself.

Naisen made his way up to his family's apartments stopping to pet the neighbor's kitty. It was his one pleasure walking by himself, but all too soon he made his way home.

A skewed word, home. Home should be where the heart was, but Naisen resolved not to let his heart feel too much at his parents house because they hurt him too much. He took it upon himself to be unfeeling and not care what they said or did or didn't' say or do. Naisen glowered and pushed the door open, taking off his sneakers.

Sounds from the kitchen greeted the boy as he set his backpack down. No answer from a parental figure. Might as well make the attempt.

"I'm here, mother." Naisen stood straight, eyeing the blond woman casualy. His mother, Rebecca, had grown up in London, and it was her family that gave the somber boy his light hair and blue eyes.

"Did you get home safely?" she asked and it seemed a chore to get the words out. That wasn't new.

"Yes, mother."

"Yes well… do you have homework?"

"Yes, mother. I will do it now."

A fake smile was the best she could do but Rebecca made the attempt and failed miserably. " That's my smart son…well, I'll call you to dinner."

Naisen picked his books up and turned to head down the hallway when his mothers next words froze him in place.

"Your father wanted to take you to another business meeting tonight. Don't let him take you home so late again. I worry so much."

Tears pricked Naisen's eyes but he refused to turn around and show them, or let it show in his voice. He hardened his heart and his expression. "Very well, mother. I'll greet Father when he comes to get me."

He hated these great ideas of his father's. Sitting around drunk and grabby businessmen was not his idea of parental nurturing. The way things were going, and right now Naisen had no idea what they wanted from him, something would happen and it would only get worse than fumbling hands on his thighs and knee, and spirits breathed into his face. Naisen's small hands clenched tightly around his books and he set them carefully on his desk.

Someday, he would learn all he could from school and did whatever it took. He would master his mind and himself and take himself from this hell. And he would take his revenge on what his father was doing to him.

"I met a student in my office today, " Yui commented out loud. Tetsuya mumbled a question around his toothbrush, peeking out the bathroom door. "Who was it?"

Yui fingered the ends of her hair and curled up on her side of the bed.

"A third year named Shindou Naisen. He must have an American parent, but he has blond hair." And blue eyes, eyes that were cold and saw too much.

Tetsuya climbed into bed and stretched. "That is interesting…that or his parents dyed it." Yui curled up under his arm, letting Tetsuya kiss her.

"I thought that but that's not the point. When I saw him…. " Yui gestured to the earring she wore, the only part of Nakago left. Tetsuya noticed the meaning and squeezed her tightly.

"You miss your…don't you?" Yui made a small sound of consent and snuggled close to his chest.

"Taka was reborn…. he is Tamahome. Miaka is sure the others will be reborn here. Why can't…why can't they?"

Tetsuya kissed Yui's neck, causing her head to fall back. "I know you wish you could see him, and maybe the boy looks like him, but it could _not_ be him also. Don't' get your hopes up."

Tetsuya's sure fingers opened her robe and pulled her close to soothe her worries away.

As if to spite his words, the next day Yui met an eighteen- year old boy at a new pizza parlor. A young man, with short sandy hair who laughed happily, and caught her attention with his smile. His left arm scabbed up in a rash that when inquired about, he told her he and his twin brother had the same mark.

"Usually when we're trying to talk through our minds," he laughed, handing Yui's order over. His eyes held a flash of recognition and Yui's heart stopped. Suboshi.

end chapter one

There will be more on Nakago or Naisen here later, I was trying to establish the setting. Yui and Miaka will both be more present for his character, though I had to throw in Suboshi just to mock Tetsuya. Poor poor Tetsuya… (sigh)

The rash thing was during the first failed summoning of Suzaku at the end of season one :P Remember, the twins wrote on their arms and received the messages cross country. Hows that for express delivery? And well, I'm a twin, and when I DID get a rash on my left arm, I said "hey, my sister's trying to write me a message!"

Please review! Do you want a chapter two?

Hugs, penpaninu 8/25/05


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! Chapter two to the story is up. Sorry for the delay, I was caught writing two more Inuyasha's and dealing with some crit on using the same title for a previously existing fic. I ask you please if you want to give criticism, make it constructive and not destructive. I always listen to reviews.

Thanks for reading The beginning is a look how Naisen's parents met. I put Amiboshi in there too, and gave both of them an 'A' and an 'S' name, how original again! Yui looks like she's trying to lend everyone a hand. Please review!

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter two

by penpaninu

Shindou Tadaka was on a business trip in London when he met a young college student with blond hair named Rebecca Stewart. They hit it off fairly well and he romanced her, convincing her to marry him and live in Tokyo with him. Rebecca was happy and in love so she agreed, but was naturally overwhelmed at the culture shock of moving to a different country. She did the best she could but didn't like how many hours Tadaka's office work kept him from home, or how often he was sent around the country and to others to promote company negotiations.

Rebecca learned sparse Japanese and was perpetually alone and homesick without her husband. She didn't make any friends and she couldn't communicate as fluently as she could at home.

She was genuinely happy when she became pregnant a year and a half later and Tadaka was thrilled. A small boy was born to them both, with Rebecca's blond hair and blue eyes. They decided upon Shindou Naisen. Things went well the first three years of Naisen's life, until Rebecca received a call from a strange woman claiming to have been having an affair with Tadaka.

Rebecca confronted her husband but he blamed her for his outburst and infidelity. He went so far as to blame their son as well for clinging to him. Rebecca was so shocked, she withdrew into herself, intent subconsciously to be the perfect wife. A wife who did everything perfect, but, without joy or strength. An unsmiling mother, and unresponsive wife.

Tadaka continued on his exploits outside the house and did what he pleased, no longer caring his marriage was emotionally over. Poor Naisen had no idea why his mother didn't respond normally or why his father hated to be at home. At the age of six, Naisen asked his father why other children's mothers laughed as loudly as they and he received a barrage of obscenities and quite a few hits.

Naisen being so young, reacted rather maturely. He was humiliated and hurt and took it into himself, not crying out or protesting. It wasn't healthy for a child but he did it anyway. Rebecca did nothing or didn't even notice as she almost lived only in the kitchen.

When Naisen was enrolled in grade school, he had to memorize his way there and back home as his mother wouldn't walk with him beyond the first day. He followed a pack of neighborhood kids those first few terrifying days until he had the way memorized. Then he didn't need them. He could do it himself alone.

Naisen diligently did his work at school and learned from his teachers and went straight home, not bothering to stop in the neighborhood park though he wanted to. The other children's smiles and their tall loving parents angered him so he never stopped to play.

He would just go straight home, home to a dim home where his mother nursed cups of strong spirits, waiting for dinner to finish. Sometimes when his father would get back after sunset, he would collect the boy to take with him back to work, and show him off to his partners and colleagues. At first Naisen was happy his father chose to point him out to these men then the excitement quickly dulled to anxiety as he was witness to drinking and shouting instead of kind compliments. It was obvious his father wanted him here for something else and Naisen didn't want to find out what it was.

He remained stoic, and polite, even if the hands got too friendly and he was forced to share sloppy kisses with some of the more drunk business associates. Filled with disgust at his situation set Naisen to grim determination that sooner or later he'd learn enough from school, master himself, and leave this place.

One such night 'talking' to some of these colleagues, Naisen tried to keep a straight face as he was chattered at with alcohol-lathered breathe and groped from each side. His father was watching from across the room, and the clock on the wall read that it was almost 11 pm as it was. Damn. And that dumb counselor wanted to talk at school tomorrow.

Shindou Tadaka took another drink and studied his blond son seemingly entertaining those men from out of town. He would do well to go on to other levels of entertainment these men wanted. Tadaka's president nudged him and leaned to inquire a request in his ear. Tadaka smiled and nodded. "Tomorrow night should be fine."

Tetsuya dropped off Yui at the middleschool with a kiss the next day and she waved as he drove off. Several students waved shyly as she walked in with them and she greeted them with a smile. From here she could hear Miaka chattering happily as usual, no doubt answering a phone call.

Yui pushed open the office doors and waved to Matsuko and Eri, giggling as Miaka winked over the phone. She bowed to Mr. Sumiyoshi, and took her customary cup of morning coffee, sliding into her small counselor's office and going through her files for the day. Ten o'clock with Masuri Aoshi, noon with Hideki Yuriko. And the one oclock with Shindou Naisen. Yui sighed and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. She couldn't stop thinking about that young boy even after what Tetsuya had advised.

She may be setting herself up for a fall, but she knew her intuitions accurately now and she was sure it was him. Just as she was sure the pizza boy yesterday was Suboshi. She'd have to get his name…. "I need to stop turning into a stalker!" Yui sighed and sipped her coffee. Wouldn't hurt to stop by for lunch though…

"Yui do you want any sugar….heh you're too funny," Miaka's rang out again and Yui looked up. "No, black's fine, Miaka-chan. I was just thinking."

"About pizza for lunch again? You're going to get fat and then Tetsuya will find someone else," Miaka teased. Yui smiled, knowing Tetsuya would remain devoted no matter what. "I was thinking we'd try them again to be sure of the quality," she answered happily.

"Well I can't blame you…Taka is fond of the place and Hiroshi loves the twins who work there," Miaka commented and Yui's heart pounded.

"He did say he had a twin brother…" Yui mused, more sure than ever of her intuition.

"You should see them both toss dough! They have a regular act going…Yui, are you alright?" Miaka waved her hand in front of her eyes. Yui laughed and tucked a lock of hair behind her earlobe. "Just fine. I'm ready for those kids now."

Picking up lunch at the pizza parlour (called Dragon Scales) proved to be interesting once more. Both brothers were there, and the first that Yui was sure was Suboshi loudly exclaimed that his admirer was back. The other brother teased right along side and Yui blushed to receive so much attention. Their nametags read Asakura and Saito, and she would remember that.

The twins were so young and earnest and it made her smile to see them happily at ease in their new lives. She knew fate had put them around the corner from her job, and she would take advantage of that to set their relationship straight.

She shouldn't have asked Saito out to coffee because Asakura looked alittle jealous, but she couldn't help herself. Suboshi died with so many mistakes under his belt and she only wanted to help.

Along with another of her seishi at one oclock. Yui made it back just in time to distribute the pizza around the office and hide in her office with a slice. She was brushing the crumbs from her hands with a napkin just as a polite knock sounded at the door.

"Shindou Naisen here, ma'am. I've come for my appointment."

He did sound formal and polite…but he had some shields put up already. Were things going well at home for her reincarnated seishi? What if legal matters had to be called in? For now all she could do was talk to him and try to reach him.

"Come in, Shindou-kun." Yui called and tossed the napkin in the garbage can. Naisen slid the door open and stepped in and bowed before taking a seat across from her desk.

"First things first would be to ask why you got into a fight yesterday, Shindou-kun," Yui began, picking up her notepad. Naisen shrugged.

"I don't see the need to coddle weaker boys. Taro was poking at me constantly and I finally put him in his place."

Yui raised an eyebrow and jotted a short note. 'Superior complex.'

"Did Taro incite your actions?" she asked. A short nod from Naisen.

"Very well… how are things at home? Do you have any siblings, or pets?"

Yui was quick to notice an angry fire behind his eyes before they iced over completely. "No brothers or sisters. My neighbor has a cat," Naisen shrugged.

"What do your parents do?"

"My father works for a company and my mother stays at home."

"How would you call your relationship to them?"

Naisen declined to answer, boredly watching the clock. "Are we almost finished, Hongo-san?"

Yui shook her head. "A few more questions, Shindou-kun. I'd like for you to trust me you know."

Naisen turned to look at her, confusion flashing through the ice in his eyes. So he could be somewhat vulnerable even with his shields. And she had startled him.

"Sure, I mean you are a teacher right?"

"I'd like to be your friend," Yui invited, jotted more notes down then setting the pad down to smile at him. "If you ever need to come talk to someone, my door is always open for you. And please try to get along, your classmates should be your friends."

Naisen shrugged again, seemingly bored. "I'll keep that in mind, Hongo-san. May I be excused?" Yui nodded and he stood up, bowed and exited her office, sliding the door carefully shut behind him.

Yui took a deep breathe and leaned her head against her raised hands. Naisen was hiding some pain there was no doubt and it was connected to his parents. He had to trust her first before he could tell her and so she could help. All the help she could offer was her support and an open ear. Nakago never trusted anyone in her time in the Other World. And he had had years of experience keeping people from his heart.

She found him early enough she was sure she could help him. He just needed to let her in.

"I'm surprised you asked me out, Yui-san," Saito grinned, stirring sugar into his coffee. Yui declined when he offered the pink packets and sipped hers plain.

"Well it was such a hard decision considering you have a twin," she teased gently, heart pounding as his smile widened. Saito had a more open nature than his past life, but then again his brother hadn't been washed down country accidentally.

"I'm going to have to tell Asakura later on that you picked me for my looks!" he joked, leaning back and crossing an ankle over his knee. The coffeehouse they chose to go to was busy but they had managed to grab a couch in the corner.

"Tell me, are you in college?" Yui asked. Saito smiled and filled her ears with the activities of his life which led him to need a part time job with his brother, and the hours passed in comfortable companionship.

A ring on Yui's cellphone broke the gentle atmosphere with a shrill blast and Yui flipped it open.

"Hello! Sorry, Tetsuya…. I know, I didn't mean to be late…I ran into an old friend and we went to coffee. Sure, I'll say hi..Okay I'll be home later! Jyaa…" Yui sighed and hung up.

Saito grinned. Old friend? What was that about? He liked the sound of that though.

"Don't tell me you're going already, Yui-san!" he laughed. Yui groaned goodnaturedly and rapped his shoulder.

"I have to. But I'll see you won't I?" her heart pounded as Saito considered her seriously.

"You can count on it."

Oh shit. What was she getting into?

All that night Naisen's stomach twisted and roiled despite his mothers careful cooking and soothing lies from his father's mouth. He was taken back to the company building for another meeting and Naisen had the urge to just run away while he could. Security would just grab him, wouldn't they? So he resolved to see this usual atrocity through so he could go home faster.

"You'll be talking to Yasunori-san. He's my president, Naisen-chan. You'll do what you're asked, won't you? I work for him," Tadaka was saying. Naisen grit his teeth and bobbed his head in acquiescence. Why did he have to go to a separate office all alone with this Yasunori? This whole business smelled funny and Naisen felt the urge to flee growing stronger. His short legs trembled as he contemplated a run to the front doors downstairs.

"We're here." A sharp heavy hand on his shoulder froze Naisen in place. Tadaka opened a door and gestured for the boy to enter. Naisen looked back.

"You're not coming in, father?" he asked one last time.

Tadaka sneered at his son. "No. Now go please my boss."

With sinking feelings, Naisen turned to walk in and commit to what was demanded of him. Afterwards as he cringed there, sore and bruised, he vowed to take revenge on what was done to him. One day.

End for now

Did you like it? Hate it? Please review and tell me what you didn't like or did like. Will Yui go for a romance with Suboshi? Or will she stay true to Tetsuya?

I promise to use Miaka and her family more, trying to establish more ground. Please tell me what you think!

Penpaninu 8/27/05


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three here… tell me, is calling a pizza parlor Dragon Scales because two Seiryuu seishi reincarnations work there too much? It's pretty much off the top of my head :P When I write these stories, I continually have in my mind the end of the FY tv series and ova series… and I may have swung out of post-Eikoden canon with making Taka and Miaka's child a boy (it was a girl named Hikari or "Light") but I thought "go with it!"

And I love other FY reincarnation fics, why I'm writing this one. Nakago isn't one of my favorite characters, but I thought I'd give him his due. He might be Watase Yu's favorite character for a reason. And I see most reincarnation fics where people name the seishi their birth names in their past lives (ie: Hotohori would be Saiheitei, his emperor name, and Nuriko would be Ryuuen, his village name). I don't mind, but I thought I'd try and give new names to everyone's reincarnations. Though I'm going for same letter beginnings so as not to confuse :P

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter three

by penpaninu

Naisen walked stiffly to school the next day. What his father's president had done to him had painfully opened his eyes and sealed shut his heart. He didn't know men did that…much less to young boys like himself. It humiliated him that he had begged him once to stop and was shut up into submission. Stoic and silent, that was the way to get through something now.

Naisen stumbled across the street to the front of his school, passing by a young boy with dark blue hair. Hiroshi looked at him curiously and shouted hello. Naisen grimaced and hid his face from him, walking faster to class. Hiroshi shrugged. Maybe at recess he'd want to play. No one else asked him anymore. And his mother always said to treat people with kindness.

Taka waved to Hiroshi as he made his way to his class and the boy brightened. Yup, everyone should have parents like he did he thought happily as he made his way to his desk.

Yui chose to walk to work the next day so she could pass by Dragon Scales on her way in. The restaurant wouldn't be open until lunchtime, but she wanted to feel her seishi's energy and assure herself they were still there.

Even better as she turned the corner, Asakura was sweeping the front walk. He was dressed in the uniform, sneakers and an apron, pizza cap turned backwards on his head. He whistled along as he battled the sidewalk with his broom and Yui smiled.

"Ohayou, Asakura-san," she greeted, waving to him. Asakura's smile bloomed instantly and he leaned on his broom.

"Well if it isn't our special admirer. It's good to see you, Yui-san," he grinned.

Yui giggled behind her hand. "Your brother told me a lot about you two," she confessed.

Asakura held up one hand good-naturedly. "Whatever he said, I didn't do it," he teased, making Yui laugh.

"My best friend and her family love your store. To be honest, they pointed you out to me," Yui said.

Asakura frowned in thought. "Sukunami, right? Usually ordering three large pizzas for the missus and one for the men of the house."

Yui laughed. "That sounds about right! Miaka has a large appetite."

Asakura laughed. "This may sound strange, but I swear I've seen her before! And you, Yui-san."

Yui regarded Asakura somberly. "I don't doubt it, Asakura-san… I feel the same about your brother."

Asakura coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "So do you have a boyfriend, Yui-san? Cause Aniki was asking me if you did…"

Yui blushed and coughed behind her hand. "Asakura-san!"

Asakura laughed. "He's swept over by you. I think I saw him spelling your name with the pizza sauce."

Yui laughed again, put at ease by his joke. "Well, I do have a boyfriend…"

Asakura snapped his fingers. "Damn. Aniki'll burn orders all day."

"…..But, I do like your brother, and you."

Asakura blushed and grinned. "Well that makes my day! I'll be seeing you, Yui-san. And we like you too."

Yui flushed and bowed, continuing on her way to school. What had possessed her to confess that! For one crazy moment she had an image of all three of them locked in a passionate embrace. Come on, Yui, you've been reading too many naughty mangas!

Asakura whistled brightly as he walked back into Dragon Scales, depositing the broom in the back. Saito raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's into you, Asakura? You watching those schoolgirls again? "

Asakura grinned. "Nope. Just one special lady. Yui-san."

Saito straightened immediately, looking around. "Really? What'd she say?"

Asakura clapped his brother on the shoulder. "She does have a boyfriend…"

"Dammit!"

"BUT…. she does like us!" Asakura crowed.

Saito grinned, in a good mood again. Yui-san….

Naisen sat at the edge of the playground, watching the foolish children play on the swings and slide and chase each other silly. He sneered to himself about their innocence. They all didn't know what he did or had to do last night. They all were second to him and he would show them all….

Hiroshi bounced a ball and walked up to the brooding blond. He cleared his throat and smiled. "Hey. Wanna play?" His eyes sparkled innocently like his mothers and his smile was like his fathers.

Naisen stared at him blankly. "No."

"Come on, you're not playing with anyone…it'll be fun," Hiroshi coaxed. He bounced his bright red ball experimentally to prove his point.

Naisen didn't budge. "No."

"You can't just not play," Hiroshi said stubbornly. He touched Naisen's shoulder and didn't' notice when the boy flinched, then went still. "Come on! We'll throw it back and forth for awhile."

Naisen stared at him angrily and pushed at his hand. "Why should I?"

"Because you'll never have any fun," was the simple answer.

Naisen stood up, several inches taller than the blue-haired boy. "Let's get this over with," he swore.

"Yeah!" Hiroshi cheered.

Miaka giggled and peeked out of the office window to the playground. That was her son's way, to involve other children and make them feel welcome. He was turning into quite the diplomat.

"What are you looking at?" Yui commented, refilling her coffee mug. She joined Miaka at the window and gazed out at her friend's son playing catch with Naisen.

"Well at least he's playing…." Yui murmured. Naisen had the obvious greater strength but he was trying to be nice and not pitch the ball over Hiroshi's head, even though his scowl said otherwise.

Miaka sighed. "I was worrying about him sometime ago. He never used to play at all. He would just sit there until recess was over. I'm glad Hiroshi's playing with him. I'll have to tell Taka," she said happily.

Yui brightened and went back to her office and sorted through her notes with Naisen. If he continued on acts like this, he'd turn out fine. Miaka should talk to him probably as well, she mused and wrote a note to ask Sumiyoshi if that was acceptable.

Most people found their worries washed away talking to the past Suzaku no Miko. She was a shining star many gravitated to without realizing it. Even after what Nakago had done to her, Yui was sure Miaka would want to help.

Tetsuya took Yui to a fancy date that night. After getting permission from Sumiyoshi and talking to Miaka, Yui was in a fairly good mood, and she felt comfortable and safe being pampered by her lover. If only he would take his shades off in public and things would be perfect, she laughed.

Tetsuya always made her feel safe, and loved. Yui felt guilty for seeing the twins so often behind his back, even taking one of the brothers on a date.

Tetsuya took a sip of his wine and raised an eyebrow over his shades. "What's wrong, Yui? You look preoccupied tonight."

Yui smiled sweetly and covered his hand with her own. "I was just thinking how much I love you."

Tetsuya blushed and squeezed her hand. "I do too, Yui…"

Yui winked saucily. "Then maybe we should go home early and I can show you…" She giggled at Tetsuya's jerky movement to signal the waiter over for the check. He was so sweet and he took good care of her. She'd just have to be the twin's friend. Nothing further could progress with them.

She loved Tetsuya. Yui sighed and pressed into his side on the drive home. She'd have to forget these feelings for Suboshi...Saito.

End for now

Did you like it? Please review and tell me! I love reviews, they keep me going. Well I wrote too much today, I'm off to take a nap. See you later!

Hiroshi and Miaka to the rescue! Wuh oh, Yui's guilty!

Penpaninu 8/28/05


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four is here now. I'm sorry there won't be a Yui/Naisen convo in here, as Miaka had to have her turn to study him. Sorry it's so short, I'm trying to work on the length of my chapters! What do you think? Please review! I'm asking you, please…

"My Dreams Aren't as Empty" chapter four

by penpaninu

"You did a fine job the other night, son," Shindou Tadaka leaned in Naisen's door, smirking at the boy under the covers. Naisen's fists clenched under the covers and he balled them against his sides. Soon….soon I'll make you pay for doing that to me…

"Yes, father."

Tadaka swept a hand through his hair and put his hand on the doorknob. "Yasunori called you 'exquisite.' I do believe that may be a first for you, boy."

Hold your hands against your sides. You're not strong enough for him yet…. Naisen's face remained emotionless. "Yes, father."

"I guess the partners enjoy your dry looks. Well, sleep tight, son. We'll go back tomorrow night." The lights were clicked off and Tadaka closed the door.

Naisen felt a surge of nauseating panic soar in his stomach at that admonition, but fought it down valiantly. Silent and stoic. Those demeanors would get him through whatever his father put him up to. His child's heart shrank and trembled at the thought of that searing pain against him and inside him again. His jaw clenched tightly at the memory of the pain he had in his throat that night and all the next day. Even though he had brushed his teeth once he was allowed to be taken home, he could taste the disgusting aftermath of Yasunori's pleasure on his lips.

Naisen doubted a child should know about…that. About any of the activities his father's boss made him do. None of the other children at school, for sure. Maybe not any child in his neighborhood or the others in fact. His mother prayed sometimes, so he knew about gods, or her God. He knew if there was a God, that he did not favor Naisen and he was punishing him for something.

"All I wanted was to be normal!" he thought angrily, allowing a scowl in the darkness of his bedroom. God did not want his life to be normal, so he would survive any way he could. And maybe he would have revenge on that God and the heavens as well.

"Mama," Hiroshi said, following his mother around the kitchen. "Naisen didn't' play with me today. Did I make him mad?"

Miaka looked up from the oven and smiled widely, ruffling her son's dark-blue hair. "Of course not! I don't see how anyone could be mad at you," she winked. Taka gently swatted her hand as she tried to sample as they cooked. Some of dinner had to make it to the table for Hiroshi and Taka after all.

Hiroshi giggled as his mama pretended to whine and suck on her 'wounded' fingers, though she smiled back at Papa. Taka took over the cooking so Miaka could turn her full attention to Hiroshi's concern.

"But I think…. something's making him mad, Mama. If it's not me, it's got to be something else."

Miaka nodded. "That is very true, Hiroshi. Yui has set him up for appointments, and I'm going to talk with him soon. We'll help your friend! Soon we'll have him smiling."

Hiroshi brightened. "You always make people smile, Mama! Even mad people."

Miaka kissed the top of her son's head. "I'll help him, Hiroshi."

"That's our Miaka," Taka commented. "Our saviour to the end."

Hiroshi giggled as Mama squealed in mock anger and jumped on his back to hug him from behind.

Even after spending her evening devoted to nothing but Tetsuya, even languishing in bed with him long hours into the night, Yui's thoughts still strayed to a younger man with sandy hair and shining eyes. How he still smiled as he did in Kutou. That it was miraculous she could see his twin brother this time. That Suboshi looked happier with his brother with him this time….

Yui sighed and buried her face in Tetsuya's bare chest, listening to him breathe deeply in sleep. "His name is Saito! It's no longer Suboshi…" she thought. One of her hands trailed down Tetsuya's stomach and he shifted in his sleep. "I can't keep thinking about him. Oh no, Asakura told him for sure that I liked him…."

Tetsuya turned on his side, staying close to Yui's warmth. Yui smiled and ran her hands through his dark hair. I love you, Tetsuya, I do… I almost wish Suboshi hadn't shown up.

Saito, that is. Saito….

Saito lay awake in bed, thinking of a certain woman he hadn't seen in a couple of days. Yui hadn't stopped by in person, but she had made a delivery to the school yesterday. Asakura was lucky enough to get that because Saito was still filling out his delivery slip for the address and Asakura just happened to have one already filled out. He had come back crowing of a generous tip and a brief conversation with their golden-haired goddess.

"She only has done a delivery to the school," Saito thought, head resting on his arms. He stared at the ceiling, thumbs twiddling behind his hair. "She may have one delivered to her home..and maybe she'd let me hold her….kiss her and…love her the way I always wanted to ….I never had the chance to…."

Saito blinked in the darkness. Where had that thought come from? He had only met her a few days ago! But that strange feeling of recognition wouldn't go away. Nor the driving need to protect her like a guard dog.

A wild image of a shaggy wolf-man entered his mind, slathering and howling to be let free for the kill. Saito blinked again. Okay, no thoughts of wild dogs, either!

Still it hurt he hadn't seen her in just a few short days. Was she even remembering him? Thinking about him? Asakura had all the luck…

Miaka waited in Yui's small counselor's office the next morning, sipping at a cup of more sugar than coffee, waiting for her appointment with one Shindou Naisen. She read over Yui's notes and thought of Hiroshi's childish analysis. "Something's making him mad."

She would do the best she could. There was a knock at the door and she smiled.

"Come in!"

The door slid open and a sullen bland look met hers. Miaka gasped and stood up, staring at the blond hair and the blue eyes, the stoic look on the young face. It couldn't be! It wasn't! Tama was here now but so could others….so could….Nakago?

Naisen let a small frown sneak across his face. "May I come in, Yuki-sensei?" His tone hinted at annoyance for making him wait. Another thing she remembered when he spoke.

Miaka coughed and covered her mouth with her hand. "Yes!Yes…Naisen-kun, please come in. Hongo-sensi asked me to speak on her behalf to you. I just have a few questions…."

Naisen shrugged and sat down at a chair and waited.

At first Miaka's heart was pounding, sure that even at the age of eight, he would lash a spell around her and make her feel foolish for dropping down her guard for an instant. Nakago had that air of flee or submit to me and she had learned that very quickly in the Other World.

As Nakago…no, Naisen, answered her simple questions, Miaka's suspicion washed away. Oh she was sure this was Nakago's reincarnation….all the signs and marks were there after all. But he wasn't…evil. She wasn't sure Nakago himself had ever been evil in all the terms of the word. But horribly misguided and misunderstood. And horribly hurt and abused.

Miaka saw in Naisen's blunt and quiet answers, a child abused and neglected. He was hurting and he was hiding it behind the appearance of strength. Much as he did in his other life. But then he had had a lifetime then to hone the ability.

"Is that all, Yuki-sensei?" Naisen inquired after a lengthy minute when Miaka stopped pretending to write notes. She sighed and nodded.

"Oh, Naisen-kun!" Naisen stopped at the door.

"My son, Hiroshi said he wants to keep playing with you…if you'll let him," she smiled cheerfully. Naisen shrugged.

"I'll think about that, thank you." The door rasped shut behind him.

Miaka sank back in Yui's chair and held a hand to her forehead. The hurt and pain Nakago had influenced callously were the future acts of the abused child she spoke to today. While she still cringed at the memory of that cruel man advancing on her before he made her think he had raped her, she knew she wouldn't' let that stop her from helping his life now.

He was only a boy. And he needed to be loved like everyone else.

"Hey!" Hiroshi yelled and ran over to the blond sitting at the edge of the playground. "I brought my ball! You gotta play today!"

Naisen sneered to himself as Hiroshi held up the ball like a war trophy. "Hasn't anyone told you? Games don't last forever," he growled.

Hiroshi blinked, stunned at that sudden outburst. "Wha? Come on, Naisen, you don't have to worry about weird things," he insisted, Miaka's stubbornness shining through.

Naisen sighed and hung his head, shielding his eyes with his blond hair. "I can't play. I'll see you…." Hiroshi watched the taller boy walk off, to circle the playground the whole recess period.

Hiroshi hugged his ball then threw it in the air and kicked it. Naisen was definitely mad. But Hiroshi would get through to him. Mama would help, he knew it!

"Aniki! Bro, where are you?" Asakura asked, poking his head out of the backdoor of Dragon Scales. Saito turned around and made a 'scat, shoo' motion with his hand to get the hell out.

"I'm talking here! Tell boss I'll be back in two minutes," Saito hissed, covering the mouth piece of his cellphone with one hand. Asakura grinned and doffed his pizza hat at his big brother.

"Course I will. Give Yui a kiss for me! Myah!" Asakura laughed and ran back inside before Saito could retaliate. Saito blushed and turned back to his conversation.

"Yes, Yui-san…. I was wondering….would you go out with me? Not just for coffee…."

End for now

Did you like it? Hate it? Please review! They help keep me going and involuntarily give me ideas you know. Please review if you have read this all the way through!

Penpaninu 9/01/05


	5. Chapter 5

Finally continuing on with my Nakago fanfic. I'm sorry it took so long to update! I've plugged out about six chapters of my new Inuyasha fic, and it was well received, so I decided to continue on that note. I haven't forgotten Naisen, or Saito or Asakura.

And please review if you read and liked this! I like to email the kind people who do review me, so include emails if you want.

"My Dreams Aren't as Empty" chapter five

Naisen stumbled home one day after school, looking for all the world that he didn't want to be there, walking, existing, or living. His father had made him go back to the office last night. Naisen remembered not knowing what they wanted from him, and it would get a whole lot worse than a whole better. It had definitely gotten worse and the skinny boy fairly limped through school.

His teacher asked him questions, which he ignored. When he was brought into Hongo-sensei's office for a brief appointment, he hung his head and let his eyes glaze over as his lips spoke some semblance of offhand answers he didn't care about. He didn't notice Yui's worried expression or her desperate attempt to get him to stay longer and talk.

And he certainly didn't notice when he was finally let free that she pulled Miaka by the arm back into her office.

It was rare for a child of eight, but Naisen had a few thoughts recently about where he would go if he were to die now. He knew his mother's God hated him, and the heavens had no room for him. The only thing that made him feel these past few days was a steady burning of rage that would lead to his taking his revenge on those that had wronged him. These slow burning would fuel his apparently vacant expression, and push him on to grow stronger.

Hiroshi had asked him to play again at recess, and he took the opportunity to run and catch and throw that stupid ball, because it would strengthen his body. Naisen knew he would need all the strength he could draw on to grow to be the strongest of all.

Yui hadn't had to tell Miaka her discovery of her Seiryuu seishi Nakago being Shindou Naisen. From Miaka's brief appointment, she had deduced that all on her own, so the two jumped right into their own questions regarding him, and what he was going through.

"What are we going to do, Yui?" Miaka wailed, pressing her hands together. "He's so hurt! He's too young…." She thought of her own son, Hiroshi, and the direct age the two boys shared and she was angry for Naisen's care.

Yui pressed her hand to her brow. "I don't know, Miaka…. All we can do is keep our appointments and try and get him out of his shell. If he can admit examples of abuse, maybe we can call in the authorities. Get his life straightened out! But…"

"He won't tell us anything out of the ordinary," Miaka groaned, shaking her head. "He can open up to me eventually…but I don't' want him to get hurt in the meantime! I just wish his god would send him a guardian angel to help him until we can."

Yui smiled weakly. "That would be ideal, but I hope Seiryuu would do that." A tall man in blue scaled dragon armour and piercing unworldly eyes filled her head. She supposed it was a god's right to be the first to be inside her body and take her virginity while she was his priestess, but it wasn't something a boyfriend wanted to hear. (Imagine her embarrassment that Tetsuya had been co-reading THAT at the time)

Miaka smiled and patted her arm. "Just pray to him, and he may hear you. Often I feel Suzaku hovering over my shoulder."

Yui smiled askew at her best friend. "I hope he doesn't do that while you're alone with Taka!" Both women laughed, trying to ease the worry of their situation.

"Miaka…there's something I want to talk to you about besides Naisen…." Yui said seriously. Miaka tilted her head to the side.

"What is it, Yui-chan?"

"Do you remember that place, Dragon Scales?" Yui asked. Miaka nodded. "There's a young man who works there…he says he saw you and your family a few times…"

"The twins?" Miaka laughed. "Asakura always tosses dough up to the ceiling when I bring in Hiroshi! He loves it."

"Well he and his brother….did you get a feel from them?" Yui asked, leaning close. Miaka looked thoughtful, then met Yui's eyes.

"Amiboshi and Suboshi."

Yui nodded, her eyes intense. "Suboshi is Saito….and he asked me for a date."

Miaka sighed, hugging Yui. "Oh, Yui…" She knew her unresolved feelings towards her Seiryuu guardian, despite his youthful misintentions and how hard it must be for him to be reborn here, now for her.

"I can't help it, Miaka! I want to help him… and I missed him!" Yui sniffed, pressing her face to Miaka's comforting shoulder. Miaka patted her back/

"Of course it's natural to want to be involved with them, when they come back! It's only a miracle they are able to be reborn here, with us…. whenever I look at Taka, I know I am so lucky the he found his way back to me," Miaka said. Yui shook against her, crying.

"I love Tetsuya, I do, but when I saw him again….happy and with the brother I never got to meet, it made me….want to hold him." Yui confessed. Miaka patted her longer hair and smiled.

"So go on this date. It all depends on what you do, really, but just have fun with him! You shouldn't shut off a friendship with him because you're with Tetsuya," Miaka said. Yui smiled and wiped her eyes.

"Thanks Miaka…I'm going to get ready to meet him. Say hello to Hiroshi for me, I haven't had a chance to see him today!" she said.

Miaka smiled and nodded. "You should eat dinner with us sometime! Tetsuya's going to be gone for a week you know."

Yui nodded. " I know…." Which was partly why she had agreed to Saito's offer. She wanted to see him again, and she wouldn't feel so guilty for being alone with him

Yui tidied her office, said goodbye to Principal Sumiyoshi and Taka, and walked the blocks to her apartment.

Yui had to admit, she felt plain guilty making herself pretty for another man besides her lover. The bathroom still smelled like his aftershave and cologne despite his being gone a day already, and it coiled her stomach in knots to think of him. Tetsuya was a likeable man, well off financially, kind and supportive to her studies and a loving boyfriend. Why she would put that aside for an instant to meet a eighteen-year old boy while he was out of town made her feel stupid.

The once priestess of Seiryuu smoothed her hands over her dress and dabbed on the right amount of perfume. Again, a favorite of Tetsuya's, making her stomach hurt. Maybe she should call Saito, tell him she couldn't meet him. There was still time to do the right thing.

But her feet, encased in slim heels, carried her out of her apartment, downtown to Chez Louis' and toward a familiar young man with sandy hair. He cut quite the figure of a man in his gray suit, broad shouldered and tall. His suit jacket was open, showing off the slimness of his stomach behind his belt, and he moved as lightly on his feet as in the pizza parlor. He laughed and greeted Yui as she stared at him a daze, seeing Suboshi at her side.

"Oh I almost forgot!" Saito stammered, and presented her with a single rose. It was colored white, so as not to scare her with the passion represented in a red one. He knew he made the right decision when she smiled and rubbed the petals against her cheek. Yui looked stunning. It was all he could do to not to stutter like a love-struck teenager, or drool at the sight of her bare shoulders and cleavage.

'I thought she had a boyfriend,' Saito thought, but decided not to worry about that. He felt strangely at ease, and relieved to be alone with Yui, intimate setting or not. He could not place these strange feelings that cropped up concerning her since he met her at work It was like he was remembering an old friend that he loved and she was welcoming him home.

Yui smiled and murmured a thanks as Saito held her chair for her. He was as earnest as he was a lifetime ago, but more courtly. She remembered her first kiss at his hands, but it was a shock for he had captured it unwillingly from her. Saito was the picture of youthful elegance and she fairly blushed, taking in his strong hands and the sharp angle of his jaw. Suboshi had never gotten to the age of eighteen, and it was a relief to see Saito older than she remembered him.

"Yui-san, you haven't touched your meal…" Saito murmured, surprised at her studying him throughout their conversation.

"Saito….you can just call me Yui," She said. Saito blushed and nodded.

Not wanting to be apart from him so soon after the dinner, Yui agreed for a walk through a nearby park with Saito. She had drunk a couple of glasses wine so she leaned against his arm, blushing at the feel of thin but strong muscles through the suit jacket.

Saito escorted her as befitting a gentleman, though he was unsure how the course of the evening would go. His youthful hormones were in a rage, wanting to take her home to his bed, but she had a boyfriend, and she was an older woman. Suppose she didn't want him that way? But a friend doesn't make herself up for you this way, his mind chided. She is interested in some way….and its' good to know her again.

There were those thoughts again! How could he turn off these confusing past and present tenses of knowing Yui. Feeling her curves pressed against his side tamed Saito's rambling thoughts and he exhaled slowly. He sat her on a park bench and sprawled next to her, his long legs spread as he leaned back.

Yui giggled and touched his cheek. "Do you not have a limit for wine?" she asked curiously. He flushed and laughed.

"I suppose I don't….but you were drinking it, so I thought it was fine," Saito said. Yui leaned against him and looked up at the night sky.

"Up there, Yui…. Those stars are familiar. But I cant' remember the name of constellations for them," he mused. Yui stared at him. He had pointed out the Stars of Seiryuu. He couldn't tell why Yui was staring at him for saying that, or why his shoulder tingled sharply. He reached to rub the spot and Yui covered his hand with hers.

"The constellations are the Stars of Seiryuu," she heard herself saying, heart pounding. Saito looked at her hand covering his, and lifted it, kissing the back of it. Pleasure thudded through Yui and she sighed.

"Seiryuu?" Saito murmured. He seemed to remember Yui standing naked before a blue cloud, becoming one with it…. Yui nodded, tracing his cheek with her other hand.

"Saito…it is so good to see you again," she confessed. Saito blushed.

"We only met the other day," he whispered. Yui nodded. "But it's been longer hasn't it?" Why was he saying this? She was going to think he was strange and making something up to get her interested.

He wasn't ready for her lips near his. "Yes, it was a lot longer….." And she kissed him. Saito wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close against his chest.

"Mama, the stars are shining brightly!" Hiroshi called from their family's apartment. Miaka peeked out with her son and giggled.

"They are, aren't they? Not the ones of Suzaku, hmm?" she inquired. Hiroshi bounced on his heels and shook his head. His mother always talked about that strange name quite often, and it made his father smile sadly. Maybe it had something to do with the framed pictures in their bedroom he wasn't allowed to study.

"No, mama. It's the stars to the east of it!" Hiroshi was proud to point out. Miaka knelt and wrapped her arms around her thin eight year old, looking up at the stars winking at them.

"Yui….."

Naisen stepped out of his family's apartment with the evening's trash in his hand. He ignored the neighbor's nice cat and went to throw it out. His father wanted him to 'dress up' and get ready for the office again tonight. It was so nauseating a thought to process Naisen couldn't eat dinner half the nights. He stood on his tiptoes to throw the bag into the dumpster downstairs, and trudges his way back inside.

There were screams and shouts coming from next door. A new family had moved in last week, and it seemed all the parents did was argue and scream. It was almost the direct opposite of his own parents, for they didn't to scream anymore. They just lived, and existed. And he existed to further his father's business status.

Naisen put his hand on his apartment door as the one next door opened, omitting a skinny girl with her hair done up in circle buns. She looked seven or right and she was crying. Naisen sighed, feeling the world on his thin shoulders and looked annoyed at her.

"Oh! I'm sorry…" the girl sniffled, rubbing her eyes. "Didn't see you there. You live next door?"

Naisen nodded silently.

"I'm Takeuchi Sadako. I live here….hey maybe we can play," she offered, smiling in promise. Naisen's heart thudded and went still. She was familiar…. And he didn't know why.

"Maybe."

End for now

And Soi makes her appearance. I promise I didn't want to name her after the Japanese Ringu girl, but I could for the life of me not think of another Japanese girl's name that started with an 'S'. And the more I tried not to think of Sadako, the more it asserted itself to Soi! Poor Soi…

And if you've seen the FY ovas Oni, you can tell I took Hiroshi's little line about the stars directly from the Fushigi Akugi. Don't hurt me please!

What do you think of Saito and Yui? Tell me what you think. Will Naisen get help? Stay tuned, and please, review!

Penpaninu 9/09/05


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, I decided to update this fic before my Inuyasha one to be fair to the people reading this one. Thank you for all the kind reviews, and keep em coming. If you can include emails, I like to respond to the people who take the time to review my stuff. Thanks again guys!

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter six

Sadako watched the twinkling stars of Seiryuu through her bedroom window, smiling and humming to herself. Her parents had stopped fighting, or at least kept it down when she snuck back inside so she was free to lean out of her window before she went back to bed for school tomorrow. A small wet nose nudged at her leg and Sadako giggled, looking down at her dog.

Ash was named for his gray and white fur. He looked like a little wolf, but her Mama said he was a husky mix, so was part dog. When her father was nice enough to still her anxieties over her parent's fighting, he had taken Sadako to the neighborhood pet store. The owner said he was a mix shipped from Canada and Sadako had fallen in love with him on first sight. The instant Ash's eyes opened and fixed seriously on her, she knew she was supposed to have him.

The feeling deepened to a bond between siblings almost as the puppy followed Sadako around in their old home, and this new one. He trusted Sadako for companionship, and she liked having him when fights got too bad in the home.

Sadako scratched Ash's ears, listening to him whine. She had met that nice older boy next door, and she hoped he would play with her. He was very cute and nice! Maybe a little quiet…but she hoped he would be her friend. Sadako's heart faltered as her body froze, the Stars of Seiryuu standing still.

Someone she loved was hurting… a new friend was going through something….. her mind seized on these adult thoughts, and the moment passed. Sadako hugged Ash, hoping to see Naisen tomorrow. Maybe they could walk to school together.

Naisen knelt between Yasunori's legs, his blond hair brushing his thigh. The president had just finished and he kept his face pressed against his leg, keeping his eyes closed. It didn't matter that he was used to it, or ignored the taste now. The feeling of submitting to someone this way still angered him and he kept his head bowed on his leg to be good and quiet.

Yasunori chuckled and ran his hand through Naisen's longish hair. Rebecca hadn't taken him to get it cut recently so it was long enough to brush his shirt collar. Naisen knelt, his face void of emotion as he let the man tangle his ham fingers through his silky locks.

"You're a pretty one, aren't you, Naisen? Just like a girl…." He slurred, turning to the side to take another drink that lay waiting on his desk for him. Naisen shuddered inwardly at the lack of suffix linking him to the president as a closer companion than he wanted. He dryly hoped his father was done with that secretary in the other room so he could be taken home now that Yasunori was done.

The president hadn't made Naisen lower his pants today, and for that he could only be grateful. Just a sore throat for tomorrow. All in a day's work, Naisen's mind thought and hysterical laughter filled his brain. Naisen squashed the thoughts flat and held still. He barely gave a nod to the president. His fingers were tangling in his hair again so Naisen closed his eyes and lowered his mouth again.

He was starting not to care that his heart was sealing up day by day doing this. It was the only way to survive it.

Yui undressed later that night, much later, alone at her apartment. Her skin tingled from Saito's strong hands and her lips probably were bruised from his passionate kisses. Yui could hardly blame him since she had pushed for that first kiss, and oh she could hardly blame herself for the emotional ride it put her through.

They had pressed lips and tongues together in that first joining, and Yui had not complained when he lifted her to lean against him, then rested her squarely in his lap to hold her better. Her arms had tangled around his neck, her fingers in his sandy hair as she knelt on him, kissing him hungrily. His hands felt so good against her back and she clung to him. Any passerby probably got an eyeful from that kiss, but neither of them cared as Saito held Yui against him in that park under a night sky of Seiryuu constellations.

Saito was a young man after all, and she wasn't surprised to feel another reaction to their passion between her thighs. She had blushed, feeling her reddened cheeks as his eyes looked drunkenly up at her in adoration. The dedication, the love was all still there in his eyes and he was grateful she was showing her love for him at all.

Eventually they had pried apart from each other, gasping loudly. Yui shook her head, remembering that. She had pressed her legs together on the park bench, at his side, wanting him, wanting to go back home, wanting the past. The present was sitting next to her, equally frustrated in his longing. He pressed his hands between his thighs, trying to will his erection under control. Eventually they were both calm enough to look at the other seriously.

Saito had been hopeful. Yui was apologetic. She put her hand over his and kissed him softly. Leaving things unspoken, Yui let him walk her back to her apartment. Part of her was aware she was showing him where she lived with Tetsuya, and the message seemed to come home, making the young man's strong shoulders wilt a little.

When she aimed a kiss meant for his cheek, she shouldn't have gotten his lips instead. Yui let him go, watching him in heated awe, and she almost hadn't let him leave. Saito remained a gentleman to her feelings and bowed at the shoulders, his eyes holding promises of future rendezvous.

Yui should not have pressed for that last kiss. She knew she was going to meet him again as it was.

Saito barely made it home before his strong legs almost collapsed. The emotion and passion he had shared that night were so strong it made him weak with happiness Yui let him hold her. He probably looked a sight, sprawled on his backside against the front door, shirt collar undone and tie hanging over his shoulders. Asakura walked past the entry way to the kitchen and stopped for a double take.

"Hey Aniki! You drink too much?" he asked curiously. Saito giggled up at his twin, and let him hoist him to his feet.

"Alittle…I'm drunk on love, bro," he grinned. Asakura shook his head, smiling.

"What, did Yui-san let you kiss her?"

"Oh yes….." he breathed, making Asakura cough in surprise. "And hold her…we almost went at each other, ototo," he laughed happily.

Asakura walked his brother to his bedroom and sat him on his bed. "She has a boyfriend and she kissed you like that? She must really like you…."

Saito frowned, thinking of the elusive boyfriend that lived with his Yui. "Well yes…she said she was glad to see me again. Whatever..that means." He was starting to get an idea what it meant though.

Asakura nodded, knowing the same feeling whenever he saw Sukunami Miaka come into Dragon Scales. He wanted to share laughter with her again, and apologize for doing something wrong to her….

He could only understand what his twin brother meant.

Naisen walked home slowly the next day, licking the corners of his mouth. All he wanted to do was get home and get into his room and hope he wouldn't have to go back to the office tonight. He heard a girlish scream from the park next to his complex and winced, intent on ignoring things like that as usual. Things that didn't concern him, he wouldn't go for.

The screaming grew louder, and a childish voice shouted for her puppy to be given back. Naisen rolled his eyes. Oh hell, that was his neighbor, what was it, Sadako? She was in trouble. He sighed and jogged lightly to the park to see what he could do.

Sadako was running between three older boys who were tossing her puppy between them like a toy. She was crying and screaming, afraid they'd drop him and Ash would be hurt. So far the boys were successful in catching him, but she just wanted him back! She knelt in defeat as the boys laughed meanly, then looked up as they shouted in surprise.

Naisen was there, and he was hitting and kicking them down. He was only a year older than her, and he was still thin and not very strong, but he was beating them down. Ash landed on his side on the ground near his sneakers and Naisen looked down in exasperation. The puppy whimpered, looking up at him pitifully. Naisen knelt, ignoring the older boy's whining, and hauled the puppy up by the scruff of the neck.

Ash howled in surprise and Sadako scrambled to her feet. "Don't hurt him, Naisen! He's my puppy!" she cried. Naisen looked at her, his eyes softening for an instant, and at the damn puppy squirming in his grasp. He finally softened his hold and cradled the puppy that seemed to annoy him to no end to his shoulder.

Ash's tail wagged and Sadako clapped her hands. "You're great, Naisen!" she complimented. Naisen hung his head, his longer hair in his face.

"Uhm…what's his name?" he asked gruffly. Ash wriggled in his arms to try and lick his face, whimpering in submission.

"Ash," she giggled, reaching up to pet his back. Ash's tongue lolled out of his mouth happily. Naisen quirked a smile and handed her pet back.

"Uhm.." she said quietly as Naisen turned to walk into the apartment building. "Do you…want to play? I met a new friend and we could all play if you want…"

Naisen shrugged and followed her. The friend turned out to be Hiroshi and the two tried their hardest to crack Naisen's unsmiling countenance. At the end of the day when they said goodbye, the smallest edges of his mouth turned up as he walked home alone.

Yui hadn't told Miaka how her date with Saito had ended, not sure as to her best friends' reaction. Would she chide Yui for holding someone other than Tetsuya? Or would she be sympathetic to her emotions?

Yui decided to come by Dragon Scales on her way to work, to sort some things out. Asakura was sweeping the front walk again and she stopped, clearing her throat shyly. Asakura looked up and grinned at her.

"Hello, Yui-san! Aniki told me how his date went," he winked at her and Yui smiled despite herself. The brothers were attractive and charming in their own way.

She plucked at the hem of her thigh-length skirt, blushing. "Is your brother here now?" she asked. Asakura nodded, hoisted his broom over his shoulder and darting inside quickly. A sharp cry of surprise sounded inside and a loud crash and Asakura laughed. Saito darted outside, his apron covered in tomato sauce, blushing.

"Yui…." He murmured, taking off his cap and twisting it between his hands. Yui smiled and walked up to him.

"Saito…thank you….for the date and the rose last night," she murmured. Saito grinned confidently and tore off his apron, folding it up and setting it by the door to the restaurant.

"You're welcome…are you alright, Yui? You drank quite abit as well…." He wanted to touch her face, hold her close, kiss her breathlessly, but would she want that? Was it only the wine last night? He was sure their actions last night meant a lot more. It meant a lot more to him.

Yui smiled and nodded. "I'm fine… are you?" her fingers twisted together, for she almost had touched him in return. When his eyes settled on her, her body tingled once again. It wasn't just the wine. There was a real connection here, to their past, and to their present, and it made her want him all the more.

Saito nodded, his eyes kind. "I am…I passed out at the door and my ototo hauled me into bed," he laughed. Into bed where I wanted to be with you, his mind thought. He cleared his throat.

"Yui…I was hoping my…actions…weren't unintentional to you. I want to take you out again if you'll let me…."

Yui's heart sped up and she smiled happily at Suboshi's reincarnation. "Yes! I'd love to see you again…."

Saito's mouth went dry and he grinned. "Well, good! I didn't want to scare you off," he confessed. Yui shook her head, smiling.

"I wanted you to…I wanted to…" she began. She lifted her hand to trace his cheek with her fingertips. Saito closed his eyes, leaning into her touch like a starved man.

"Me too, Yui," he murmured. They both regarded each other seriously for a few moments until Asakura hollered from inside for Saito to come back in to work.

Yui blushed and turned to leave, but stopped when Saito's hands went around her waist, turned her to him, and he bent his head to hers. Their kiss lasted until Saito's boss bustled outside angrily to separate them.

End for now

Yup, Ash puppy is Ashitare's reincarnation. A puppy is not a wolf, but maybe a wolf's far removed cousin. But I prefer dogs to wolves! And I wanted to give Ashitare a better life than circus freak in his other life. I wrote the eye thing when Sadako first saw him because the same happened when I got my dog as a puppy. I was the first thing she saw and she attached herself to me :P She followed me around all night, yapping her little head off. I love my Angela doggie.

I decided to progress Saito and Yui. What will happen when Tetsuya comes home? Will Naisen smile more? Please review!

Penpaninu 9/10/05


	7. Chapter 7

New chapter up! Yeah, me. I admit, the thing with Saito took on a whole 'nother life form really. Do you like it at all? Tell me what you think of my story. I genuinely enjoy writing for it. This means you, please review!

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter seven

by penpaninu

Yui tapped her pen against her notepad and regarded her young seishi reincarnation. Naisen looked blandly back at her, eyebrow raised slightly. So far their sessions of twenty questions had only gone passingly. Naisen answered sparingly and without real emotion. His attitude said he didn't care what Yui thought about him, and he wanted to get away from her.

It may have been wishful thinking on Yui's part to imagine she saw a hint of anguish in his cold blue eyes.

"You mentioned a new neighbor moving in next door. She's in the grade below you?" she inquired, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

Naisen crossed his thin arms over his chest. "Her name is Sadako. She's one year younger, and she has a puppy named Ash."

Yui got another jolt and regarded her pupil over the top of her notepad. "Sadako and Ash hmm?" Half of her seishi she hadn't known very long or well, but she got a feeling just from those names.

Naisen sighed mightily, closing his eyes. "Yup. They both like me a lot for some reason…."

Yui smiled. That was progress right there. Then again, Miaka's son Hiroshi liked Naisen and he only seemed to put up with it barely. Maybe a girl's attention was what he needed.

"Well, why does she like you?" Yui asked gently. Naisen's small fingers twitched and he tightened his hands into fists.

"I don't know. I don't see why. And she asks me to play with Hiroshi, too," Naisen informed dryly. Yui nodded, smiling widely.

"See, that isn't so bad. It's good to have friends, right?"

Naisen shrugged. "I guess so….they're okay I guess…"

Cha-ching! Yui couldn't stop her smile from growing. Before, Naisen wouldn't have even admitted to feeling any way like this. At least it was a hint of normality for her young friend.

"That's good! I'm sure it's fun to play with them," she suggested. Naisen looked at her oddly and shrugged again.

"I said they were okay…." His voice lowered softly. Yui set her notepad down and stood, walking Naisen to the door of her office.

"And you are too, Naisen," she said cheerfully. "I hope you have fun at recess. Next time is tomorrow, okay?" she patted his shoulder. Naisen stood stiffly and nodded, eyes downcast.

"Yes, Hongo-sensei."

"Go ask Sukunami-sensei for a doughnut, you deserve it," Yui offered. Naisen closed the door behind him.

Yui smiled as she sat down behind her desk again, hearing Miaka's high-pitched laughter from the front office. She began to write a few lines of thought on Naisen's apparent progress before her cell phone chimed.

Flicking it open, Yui set the device to her ear.

"Moshi moshi? Oh!….Saito…." she blushed heavily. "No, I'm sorry I haven't stopped in since yesterday…I was busy….oh no… I'm free today. Tell you what, I'll surprise you for lunch, you wait for me at Dragon Scales. Okay, bye!"

Yui leaned back, eyes closed as she set her phone on the desk. She felt ecstatic at the thought of seeing Saito again so soon, and alone once more, but apprehensive once again since Tetsuya was due back in three days. What was she going to do about this whole mess? She couldn't very well take a page from Nakago's book on the short advice he had apparently tried to help her with in the past. She was his counselor now, he wasn't hers!

Taka once said, to live life in the moment, and live it fully. Yui quirked a smile. She was sure he didn't mean that in regards to her specific situation, but they were words to be noted.

Leaving the office, Yui went to tell Sumiyoshi she was going to take an hour and a half lunch break, and dashed to the market for supplies.

"You don't think it's a date do you? Come on, she's got to go back to work," Asakura suggested from his area behind the counter. Saito twisted his hands in the pizza dough, and threw it sharply in an arch towards the ceiling. He caught it nimbly and a woman clapped for him by the door. Asakura winked as Saito stretched it again and tossed it his way.

"I don't know, Asakura! But she said she would meet me…."

"Maybe that kiss you gave her made her weak all last night," Asakura teased. Saito flushed bright red, and balled up some dough to throw at his brother.

"Hey you two! Stop wasting the food or I'll dock it from your pay!" the boss hollered, poking his head out of his office. Asakura winced and shaped a pizza, contrite. Saito merely rolled his eyes in answer.

"Damn college kids these days…."

Saito chortled as Asakura made a face at the office door. "Well either way, I'm going on break with her okay?"

Asakura nodded. "Some guys have all the luck! How come a hot older woman comes here looking for you?"

"Must be my better looks."

"Go look in a mirror, idiot!" The twins laughed, content with the situation so far.

When Saito met Yui at the front door of his work, he was surprised to see a grocery bag in one arm and a blanket in the other. She greeted him with a dazzling smile that heated the young man's blood from head to toe. He couldn't help feeling poor and shabby next to her. Yui's thighs were bare as her skirt was so short. Her blouse was elegant to make up for it, and she was wearing heels again. Her legs looked far more shapely due to the kind of shoes she wore and Saito couldn't help but let his gaze linger there, blushing.

"You have to help me carry this," Yui giggled, getting his attention again. Saito took his pizza cap off and tossed it inside at his brother.

"Of course, Yui! Where are we going?" Saito inquired. Yui blushed and hugged his arm, holding the grocery bag captive while he took the blanket.

"To the neighborhood park… you don't mind do you?" Would it sound too childish to her young man? Yui's fears dissipated as Saito's eyes flashed in happiness.

"Not at all! I can't wait to see what we're having," he joked. Yui watched the side of his strong profile as they walked along, happy for the moment. He was such a handsome strong young man…. A freshman in college, sharing an apartment with his twin brother, both swinging bachelors until she had come into the picture. Would she be splitting the brothers up with her foolishness of wanting to be involved with Saito?

Would he see her as old, frumpy and needy, going out with him though she was living with another man? (An older man at that?) His jaw was so perfectly shaped she wanted to curve a finger under it. His eyes were happy and shining whenever she was near. His arms were stronger and his hands bigger. He was so carefree, able to hold a part-time job at his leisure. And his body…. Yui flushed, rubbing her cheek against his sleeve.

He may wear a baggy pizza uniform half the time, but the tall muscular form beneath it was something Yui noticed more and more of late. Why he wants to go out with me, when he could have his pick of women…

Little did Yui know that Saito's mind held similar small thoughts of self-doubt as to why the other wanted to see them. Yui guided Saito to the park and once they had the blanket spread, both sat side by side and shared their lunch.

Yui had to admit, doing this spur-of-the-moment had been a good idea. Saito was pleased at taking such a pleasurable break from his job, and both were chattering amiably again, content once more in the other's company. Yui's eyes lingered on Saito's lips however, remembering his kiss before she left yesterday.

"Is there something on my face, Yui?" Saito asked softly, blushing. Yui stroked his cheek with the back of a finger.

"Maybe some pizza sauce here…" her fingers stole to his neck and Saito sighed, blushing. Her touch aroused him so much of late and it was all he could do not to pin her down and finish what they had hopefully started during their date.

The two stared at each other, and looked away, blushing.

"I don't think I spilled anything during…work…" Saito began. Yui giggled.

"What do you think about me, Saito?" she asked. Saito coughed.

"Think…about you? Or us?" he asked. Yui sighed, he was very insightful.

"Either one," she offered. Saito smiled and turned her chin up.

"I think this could explain what I think better of us…." Yui closed her eyes and sank into his arms as he kissed her.

Hiroshi walked home with Sadako that day. They both were disheartened at the turn of events, as both had gotten Naisen to agree to play after school as he felt too ill during recess. But Naisen's father, pulling up in a shiny new car, had settled the matter. Sadako remembered Naisen looking frightening a moment, before he sealed his face and got into his father's car. He hadn't looked back at his friends as the car pulled sharply away and headed downtown.

"That was his dad, huh?" Hiroshi asked Sadako. The girl shrugged.

"I hardly see his parents, I guess so," she answered. The two took turns kicking a rock on the way home, quiet for the time being.

"Naisen didn't look too happy about it. Wonder what his dad wanted?" Sadako wondered. Hiroshi shook his head.

"I don't know. But he has to talk to Hongo-sensei in the office almost everyday."

"She's the lady who talks to you right?" Sadako wondered. Hiroshi nodded.

"She's Aunt Yui to me, but I'm supposed to call her Hongo-sensei at school. She's been my Mama's friend for years," Hiroshi smiled.

Sadako giggled. "I didn't know that! That must be lucky for you, Hiro-chan."

"Hey, can we play with your puppy? We could wait for Naisen, too." Hiroshi said.

"Okay!"

"You don't tell any of your little school friends about our business arrangment, do you?" Shindou Tadaka asked, driving his car downtown to the office. Naisen sat straight and nonchalant next to him in the passenger seat.

"No, father. Of course not…." Like hell he was going to mention the school counselor wanted to speak to him almost every day. He had scrawled a forgery of his mothers name for her after the first session, so neither of his parents knew about any of his appointments.

It would only be so long before his luck went out on that end. Naisen didn't believe in luck anymore, however, and glumly watched the skyscrapers go by. He wondered whom he would have to pleasure tonight.

"Good. You don't tell anyone a word of what happens when I take you to work. You understand me, boy?" Tadaka looked angrily at his son. Naisen's shoulders stiffened.

"Yes, father."

"That's my boy."

Naisen cringed involuntarily. Hearing that from his father, who was willing to give his child to perverted men, was almost worse than the acts he was forced to commit with those men altogether.

'I'm not your boy, even if I was born to you,' Naisen thought, mildly angry. He followed his father into the office building once more.

"Saito, I have to go now," Yui giggled, as she clung to her young man. Saito had his arms wrapped around her waist and wouldn't let her leave him. Neither was trying to hard to separate, keeping the other occupied with caresses and kisses.

Saito bent his mouth to Yui's neck again and she giggled, rubbing his shoulders. Asakura would probably burst out of the front door, intent on embarrassing the two, but for now they had a moment to tease and be together.

Yui let Saito press her against the hallway wall outside his apartment, and held her close against him. Yui looked into his eyes, and between them, flushing like a teenager. Saito groaned and buried his face against her collar bone, daring to dip his head to her cleavage.

Yui's legs trembled and she held onto his back when his lips moved over the top of her partially visible curves. Things were getting out of control again…but neither wanted to stop…

"Hey! What are you two doing!" Asakura burst out, just as predicted, startling his brother into jolting up, away from Yui's chest. Both were breathing hard and Yui straightened her blouse. Saito shot his brother the look of death.

"What does it look like! Get lost, ototo!" Saito growled. Yui put a hand over his arm.

"Ah, you both get a room already! Or get in here and watch the game with me. It's your fault you took the most attractive woman in this district!" Asakura pleaded. Saito sighed mightily, and pouted mournfully at his older woman.

"I'm so sorry, Yui… he can be such a pain…." He began. Yui giggled.

"That's alright, and I was meaning to spend time with both of you anyway," she smiled. Saito brightened a little and they both went in.

Why was she so kind and attractive to him? And wanting to spend time with the closest member of his family? Saito could only hope it was the beginning of something great. No one was mentioning her live-in boyfriend, so he could make believe she was his girlfriend for all the time she was spending with him.

'For now, let me have this,' Saito prayed silently as he sat on the couch next to his brother, and Yui. She smiled when he slung an arm over behind her shoulders and Asakura teased when she leaned back against him.

This just felt too right.

Naisen snuck out onto the balcony of his family's apartment, quiet as a cat. He couldn't help feeling cramped tonight for all the 'special attention' he had received. Yasunori had two business associates who were eager to meet the toy he had acquired. Naisen was rather sore, and still felt sick as his father was so pleased at his progress, he wouldn't let him take a shower when they had gotten home.

'Don't want to wake your mother!' Tadaka had laughed, sending his son limping off to bed. Naisen had tossed and turned, and feeling his heart shred further, had gotten up and snuck out to sit beneath the stars that could be seen in Tokyo. He didn't understand. He had gotten good at sealing his heart away. Why was it aching so much that his chest hurt?

"Naisen," a girl whispered and Naisen angled his head, longish blond hair flying. Sadako, dressed in a knee-length shirt for bed, was sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest on the balcony. Ash wagged his tail at the older boy and Naisen shrugged.

"What are you doing up?" he murmured, trying to be quiet.

"Wanted to see the sky again," Sadako said simply. She gestured to Naisen.

"Come sit with me! Please?" she asked, voice quavering.

Naisen carefully climbed over to her balcony and sat beside the small girl. The damn puppy wriggled into his lap and Naisen resolved not to sigh in anger and push him away. It would hurt his new friend's feelings. And Hongo-sensei said that friends were a good thing to have.

Sadako rocked back and forth, then leaned against Naisen's shoulder gently. Naisen, schooled at sealing his emotions to drunk older men groping and doing unspeakable things to his tender body, merely all but jumped at that soft touch. Why was she doing this?

"My parents were yelling again today, Naisen-kun," Sadako said sadly. Naisen looked over the top of her head, eyes glazing.

"Hmm."

"I don't know why they do it. They don't care if I hear anymore," Sadako continued sadly. She looked up at her friend's face, at his strong expression and touched his jaw.

"Naisen?" she asked softly. The blond boy blinked, eyes momentarily softening to vulnerability. Sadako's eyes widened, noticing that.

"What, Sadako-chan?"

"Oh it's nothing…listen, let's play tomorrow for sure," she urged. Naisen's eyes went blank again.

"Oh, okay, I will." As Sadako pressed her head against his thin shoulder, she couldn't see the tears prick behind his ice cold blue eyes briefly.

End for now

I know, this was way too short. My Inuyasha stories are averaging longer than this! But I will resolve to work on this. I tried to have Yui work with Naisen abit more. Maybe I'm focusing too much on the whole Tetsuya-Yui-Saito love triangle than on the poor boy. But what do you think of it? Love it, hate it? Please review!

Penpaninu 9/17/05


	8. Chapter 8

I don't know why listening to my 'Samurai X' ova soundtrack puts me in a Fushigi Yuugi mood. Maybe it's the basic feeling of duty, to put out a chapter of this story for my few but loyal FY readers. (chuckles) If you have any suggestions or wishes, or just comments, feel free to email or just plain review. I read them all, and more often than not, reply to them all.

Cheers! Hope you enjoy. Nakago, you may have hope yet.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter eight

by penpaninu

A few short days later, Tetsuya returned. Yui welcomed him happily with open arms and generous affections. She warmed his bed readily and eagerly and could pretend she had never been on a few dates, and never kissed another man in his absence. The part of her heart she shared with Tetsuya was content, and pleased as usual. He had really missed her, and was almost overly affectionate in his ministrations to her body. Was he overcompensating for something? He had to just be glad to be back with her, Yui decided.

'You're just paranoid, since you went on a few dates behind his back. You're feeling guilty and are being suspicious because of that guilt! He's back and that's all that matters….'

Wasn't it?

Days turned into weeks. Weeks into a couple of long months. Yui rarely ordered pizza, and she stayed in her office when Miaka ordered from Dragon Scales for the school's office. She answered a few calls from Saito, and Asakura, but retreated back to the life she once shared only with Tetsuya.

'I can't hurt him…. I've led Saito on long enough, and I love Tetsuya. Yes, that is what I decide,' she thought. 'But why does my heart hurt so much?' Cheating guilt, now that had to be it.

'We didn't even do anything, but kiss…and a few….' Memories of being pressed against a wall and feeling Saito's head bury between her breasts made her legs weak once more. Tetsuya gargled in the bathroom and spit his mouthwash out, jarring the tempting memory. Yui blushed and pressed a hand against her cheek, and lay poised on the bed, waiting.

'Don't even think about it…. Your boyfriend's coming.' She thought, smiling as Tetsuya came into the bedroom, smiling widely. Yui ran a hand across her bare hip, eyebrow raised.

"I haven't had to ask if you were tired," he laughed, taking off his t-shirt, and reaching for his waistband. Yui watched his slim stomach and hips emerge from the pajama pants as he shed them and her gaze grew more appreciative at what he revealed. Tetsuya was attractive in his own way, thin and nicely put together for being four years older. He didn't let his body go as most older men did, and she loved the feel of his warm flesh against hers, around her, in her.

Yui's eyes glazed as Tetsuya came to the bed, grinning widely and very ready for her. 'If I love him so much, why do I keep feeling Saito against me? Seeing his face?' Yui closed her eyes and held Tetsuya's head against hers for a long kiss. His hands found her breasts and gently pushed her to lay back.

Stop seeing his earnest expression…his adoring gaze and god stop hearing his hungry moans at the more ardent moments of those dates. Yui scolded herself silently and clutched Tetsuya's back. They moved together easily and quickly.

Saito knew better than to call Yui at night, for he knew Tetsuya was back some weeks ago. He would call during his work hours, when she was at work, or on lunch break. Asakura noticed they had no more deliveries to her specifically, and it hurt his feelings. If it merely hurt Asakura, Saito was crushed.

'She never said she was going to break up with him,' he thought, laying in bed alone and watching his cell phone as if it held the secrets to the universe. 'But she still went out with me. I thought maybe she would…' Asakura snored loudly from his bedroom and Saito contemplated throwing something heavy to wake him up.

No, then his younger brother would want to tussle and rough house, and generally try his attempt of cheering his aniki.

Saito sighed and rolled on his back, chest rising and falling slowly. He missed seeing her frequently, or these days, at all. He missed her sweet words, her kisses and her conversations with Asakura. His twin had noticed her infrequent talk and visitations these days, but aside from some rather generous behavior, he didn't talk about it for fear of upsetting his brother.

"I want to call her…" he murmured, rolling over to hug his pillow. He had gotten Yui into his bedroom only once and that experience was short lived. Why did everywhere he look remind him of her? Was he falling in love with her?

"More like going crazy," he muttered, dragging his arm across his eyes and willing himself to sleep. And not to dream of soft eyes and long blond hair and curving lips.

To die, to sleep…no more.

Sadako noticed more and more often that Naisen, looking athletic for his age, ran and jumped clumsily. Kids at that age just didn't get exhausted, she thought. Even if you didn't go to bed when they were supposed to, you always had a bit of energy. When jarred to talk, he always put it off saying he fell at home, or was just tired.

Hiroshi and she would only meet eyes and know that wasn't true. He limped way too often. While Hiroshi couldn't imagine why their friend seemed hurt, Sadako could only surmise he was fighting, like her parents fought.

"It could be why he's so upset…" Hiroshi agreed one day. He rested his chin on his knees, and let Ash frisk around his ankles. "But who is he fighting with? My parents don't fight, so I don't know about that, Sadako-chan."

Sadako shook her head, circle buns flying. "I don't know, Hiro-chan. That's all I can think of since it's all my parents do."

"Your parents are weird, did I ever tell you that?"

"And yours are perfect, Hiro-chan, so that's not fair," Sadako pouted.

"If you want, you could come see them. I know you want to," Hiroshi grinned. Sadako slowly smiled.

"They don't mind I come over a lot, do they?" she smiled prettily.

Hiroshi shook his head.

"Nope! Mama's always baking something, and Papa says not to let her eat all the cookies," Hiroshi picked up Ash and they walked along.

"Your mommy is really pretty. I wish I could live with you guys," Sadako said fondly.

Hiroshi laughed. "I thought you liked Naisen-kun?"

"I do! But sometimes he doesn't act like he likes me…. Hey, he should come over to your house too," Sadako suggested.

"Uhm! I think that's a good idea," Hiroshi agreed happily. His mother was waiting for them at the door as they came to his apartment and Sadako watched enviously as Mrs. Sukunami gave her son a big hug.

"Bye, Sadako-chan!" Hiroshi waved as she started her walk home, Ash frolicking at her heels.

Miaka stood behind her son and saw the child off. "Are you sure she doesn't have far to go? We could walk her," she suggested.

Hiroshi looked up at his mother and grinned. "No, it's only down the street, Mama. Can she and Naisen-kun come over sometime again?"

Miaka nodded seriously at her son, though her eyes twinkled. "Of course they may. I've only had your friend over in the office at school."

"Mama, you know Taro started that fight," he complained, going back to the kitchen. Miaka nodded.

"I don't doubt he did! But Taro just needs an open ear so he won't start so many fights, I think," Miaka pondered. Her son giggled, settling himself in his chair at the table.

"You talk like Aunt Yui sometimes," he teased. Miaka smiled and took five cookies out of the cookie jar. That would do for a light snack.

"Your aunt and Tetsuya may come over for dinner tomorrow, what do you think about that?" she asked.

"Yeah! That sounds alright, Mama."

As her son chattered on, Miaka couldn't help notice the similarities of his schoolmate Sadako. It had to be Soi, make no mistake about that. Miaka had looked out of the office window and had seen her dancing around on the playground in the middle of a thunderstorm, while the other children had huddled under the roofed area of the edge of the building. Soi's method of attack had been lightning blasts and it only confirmed Miaka's theory that she was this seven-year old child dancing happily in the rain one day at school.

Miaka tore half of her cookie and handed it to Hiroshi, beaming as he grinned at her under his flop of blue hair. She remembered holding Hotohori's sacred sword in her hands, and facing that frightening woman now, knowing it was right to trust in her friend's love and trust that she would be protected.

Yui mentioned all of her seishi had grown up in rather abusive situations, so seeing Soi as a young innocent enough girl made Miaka guilty having to face off against her in the book. Even though it had been a different situation at the time.

"Mama, I'll help you get dinner ready," Hiroshi chirped. Miaka smiled and hugged her son close to her. You will never feel neglected or unloved, my boy….

Yui stood on the balcony of her apartment and talked to Miaka lightly. Tomorrow was a day off and she would be spending it with Tetsuya at every moment. If she couldn't wait to see her best friend at work, she knew Tetsuya was okay with her talking to her before bed.

"Hiroshi brought a friend from school over today," Miaka chattered brightly. Yui raised an eyebrow.

"Was it Shindou Naisen, Miaka?" she asked quietly. The Tokyo skyline bustled with noise and she watched the people moving to and fro busily even at night.

"No, not this time! It was Takeuchi Sadako, she just moved here. And she lives next door to Naisen-kun," Miaka commented. Yui heard a male rumbling voice in the background and smiled.

"Tell Taka to let you talk to me," she ordered jokingly and Miaka giggled in return, hearing a playful exchange.

"I did! He said not to keep him waiting," she laughed. Yui rolled her eyes playfully.

"Oh, that must be that new friend Naisen told me about," she said thoughtfully. Miaka gave a small verbal affirmation.

"Did you get a feeling from her, Yui-chan?"

Yui paused. "I did, and from hearing her name alone. Is it…"

"Soi," Miaka said helpfully.

Yui pressed a hand to her forehead. "It's amazing how many of them are showing up here…."

"That gives me hope for my seishi!" Miaka said brightly. Yui groaned.

"Come on, Miaka, it's all happening so fast," she chided. Miaka giggled.

"Wouldn't it be great if Nuriko was a girl this time? I think that would be so cute…"

"Your luck and your charming emperor will be our age and try to charm the pants off you," Yui joked.

"Not if I'm wearing a skirt," Miaka laughed. The two shared a stream of giggles that made Tetsuya poke his head out the door and look at her strangely.

Yui shooed him inside at Miaka's next words. "Have you seen Saito lately?"

"Uhm….I'll be right inside, Tetsuya," Yui crooned. She cupped a hand around her cell phone as her boyfriend disappeared inside.

"I haven't been at Dragon Scales in a few weeks," she confessed. Miaka made a tutting sound on the other line.

"Have you at least called him? I was in there with Taka the other night and he looked just terrible," Miaka said sadly. "Asakura looked sad too."

Yui's heart thudded and she pressed a hand to her chest. "Oh, Miaka…. I haven't seen him, because I don't want to give the wrong idea."

"You're his friend aren't you?" Miaka asked innocently. Yui groaned.

"Yes, and lately I can't stop thinking about him," she sighed, sitting on the balcony. Miaka sighed on the other line.

"Yui-chan…what are you going to do?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know! I just can't stop remembering how he was there for me…he did some wrong things, but he was there for me back then. And I wasn't there for him at all. He needed me, Miaka and he's back again…. I could help him this time."

"But he's so happy, Yui-chan. He has a good life, and he even came back with his brother! What can you save him from here?"

"His loneliness, Miaka…I think I'm falling in love with him."

"Yui-chan…."

"Miaka, please don't tell Taka or Keisuke…. I just want to do the right thing."

"I was only going to tell you to follow your heart," Miaka said.

Yui sighed. "Thank you, Miaka."

"You're welcome, Yui."

Yui hung up and watched her city embrace the night life. She loved Tetsuya dearly, but there was always a part of her heart from her teenaged life that loved the younger boy who had listened to her fears during her purification bath. And a greater part of her young heart that loved the younger boy who had embraced her from behind and had vowed to protect her. She hadn't the experience then to express or say how his dedication made her feel at the end. And he died whispering her name even if she hadn't loved him back then.

That young boy she had cared about was reborn into a young man she could see herself reciprocating the same feelings to. She had begun to express her affection to him weeks ago, but she still had her heart to give. And her body if she chose to.

"I have to do the right thing! But Tetsuya…." She thought. Her heart clenched, and she went inside to her lover. He lay reading in bed. She curled up by his side and hugged him.

"Hey, what's all this about?"

"I love you, Tetsuya," she whispered. His arms circled her gently, setting his book down.

"I love you too, Yui." His eyes looked over her shoulder, worried.

Naisen tossed and turned in his bed, sleep eluding him once more. It could be said some children did get exhausted from lack of sleep and he was the exception, children's energy or not.

Why couldn't he be normal? Why couldn't he just play with Hiroshi and Sadako and have fun like other children? Why couldn't he have real parents? Parents like that Sukunami-sensei even if her happiness angered him?

A creak outside the door jarred the young boy and he sat upright in bed, heart pounding in terror. Alone in the darkness of his bedroom could he show open expression. A tiny figure darted inside and shut the door.

"Sadako-chan?" he asked in confusion.

The little girl shushed him and snuck over as 'stealthily' as she knew how and sat on the edge of his bed.

"We didn't see you after school, so I came to say goodnight," she giggled. Naisen lay back down and laid his arm over his eyes,

"You said it, now sneak back out," he ordered. He was too sore and too tired to play games or speak words.

Sadako nudged his side. "Nuh uh, maybe we can talk," she offered.

Naisen groaned. "Go away, Sadako! I'm tired…" He heard her shift and thought she was getting ready to leave. He sighed happily.

Tiny arms wrapped over his blanketed form and squeezed him instead. Naisen froze and tensed, ready to fight his way free. Then he just let the tension go and cuddled against her.

Sadako patted his soft hair gently, watching his eyes close as he drifted off to sleep.

"I'll take care of you, Naisen-kun…"

End for now

Like it, hate it? Please let me know. I hope you enjoyed. Which part of the love triangle do you want to win? Place your bets and your votes and/or hopes.

Sincerely yours penpaninu 9/18/05


	9. Chapter 9

Hello! I realize it's been almost a month since I posted for this fic. I promise, I haven't forgotten it, but I've been caught up in my Inuyasha saga. So much that it has ten more chapters than this story does at present. Sorry to keep you waiting! (Sweatdrop)

For any who have reviewed this story, I still honor you in my heart and thoughts. Thank you for reading.

"My Dreams Aren't as Empty" chapter nine

by penpaninu

Naisen woke up one morning a week later, feeling happier and more energized than most mornings. Those were the results of the nights Sadako snuck over to his balcony, into his apartment and into his bedroom while their parents went on sleeping separately, or fighting, and didn't even notice the childish excursions late at night.

The two would lay side by side, under the safe world covers drawn over their heads could create, and whisper about school, fantasy worlds and dreams.

It confused Naisen as he ran his small hands through his shoulder length hair that morning, about the frequently shared dreams they had confessed to have. Dragon gods unfurling across the sky seemed to be a key point in many, and traveling through a land without concrete was another. Sadako had blushed and said they had shared a tent several times in those dreams but Naisen shrugged. They shared a bed most nights now, what was so different about a tent?

"It was important!" Sadako had insisted, punching his thin shoulder the night before and the two had giggled, wrestling to exhaustion. Naisen smiled now, rubbing his small shoulder as he took in his reflection that morning. His pajama pants and t-shirt were too big on his sleight frame, but he knew he would grow tall and fill out everywhere. He knew, because his mind was getting stronger. His body could only follow and complete his vision.

"Naisen?" his mother called weakly from the hallway. Naisen stood still, hurt pouring through his heart before he masked himself for the morning routine.

"Yes, mother? I'm up." He stated dryly. He heard his mother shifting on the other side of his closed door.

"Yes well…I have breakfast waiting. And your lunch…." Rebecca commented quietly and Naisen stood stock still until he heard her moving away towards the kitchen. He closed his eyes and willed his head to stop throbbing from the rage he felt build up.

His father would already be off at that hated office building, so the only person to stoke his anger was someone who did nothing to have strength over her life. And Naisen secretly hated his mother for being so weak.

He dressed in his school uniform, combed his hair back from his collar, and ate. He brushed his teeth without being told, put his shoes on and took his bag and lunch out the door for another day at school.

Naisen waved to Hongo-sensei and Sukunami-sensei as he walked through the school gates with the usual mass of children, younger and older. Yui waved, a small smile on her lips. She could afford to be indulgent in cheering other people when her own life was far from happy at present.

Miaka sensed her inner turmoil, and she and Taka simultaneously took great strides to cheer her up. Yui didn't know if Miaka had told Taka everything that was troubling her, but was only grateful for the attention this dedicated reincarnated soul could show her as a friend. Miaka would wink slyly over his shoulder and often that cheered Yui up to open up to talk to Taka more and more.

Her friends wisely overlooked the topic of Tetsuya and Saito. Yui felt hurt and a betrayer, that while she missed Tetsuya's attentions while he was working so late these past few weeks, she wanted to go to Saito for comfort and reassure him she still liked him.

But for today, she had her appointments, she had an evaluation with Sumiyoshi-sensei, and she had her evening to decide what she would do about her erstwhile love triangle.

Yui tucked herself away in her tiny office, looking over her notes on Shindou Naisen. He was growing more and more open with her in each session. Often she would glimpse traces of recognition in his crystal blue clear eyes, but mostly he was a young boy who she had known once and he did not remember her.

While these sessions progressed, Yui had the feeling his home life was much to do with unhappiness he was expressing now, but she didn't know what she could do without Naisen stating it outright. Perhaps then, she could call the police to investigate the matter, but for now…she could only try to aide her once celestial seishi in venting his thoughts and frustrations.

A knock sounded on her door and Yui stood, brushing her skirt. "Come in."

The door opened and Sumiyoshi bowed slightly to her. "I am sorry to disturb you, Hongo-san, but this young man wished to have a word with you before we began our session together."

Yui stood, heart in her throat as a familiar vision of strength and sandy hair threaded his way in around the principal. Saito! But the eyes flashed a different recognition even if they were identical to her young mans.

Asakura grinned offhand and rubbed his neck. "Sorry to disturb you, Yui-san, but I was wondering if you would have a word?"

Yui sat down, shocked but nodded at Sumiyoshi that it was okay. The principal nodded and shut her office door. A shrill voice called out to the principal on the other side, and Yui smiled, hearing a distraction from her best friend. Good ol' Miaka.

Asakura twisted his hands together and smiled charmingly. "Yui-san, I was wondering if you would see my brother again? He's wasted away without you."

Yui sighed and smiled slightly at Saito's twin. "I would like to, but I don't think it would be wise to…."

Asakura grew serious a moment and pressed his palms on Yui's desk. "Yui-san…. I was wondering, I know it was too much of me to ask. He's had dates and crushes before…. but I've never seen him this way before. He misses you so much. I think he may be…."

Yui sighed and patted Asakura's hand before he could say the words she longed to hear. It was putting off the inevitable for now, but she couldn't take it this moment.

"I think I know what you mean…. Oh, Asakura, I miss your brother. I will see him, but I just have to sort some things out," Yui promised. Asakura smiled, his shoulders untensing.

"That would be great, Yui-san! I miss seeing you at the apartment. Besides, it's hard to bring girls over when your twin is moping around," Asakura winked. Yui had to laugh at his easy-going nature. She missed him too.

"I'll see you later, Asakura," she smiled. Asakura shook her hand, eyes twinkling.

"Hopefully at Dragon Scales!" he offered. Yui nodded.

"Perhaps so," she added. Asakura swept out of the room and through the secretary's stations of the school office. Miaka looked up from a phone call and locked eyes with him.

Asakura stood still, staring at Mrs. Sukunami. Their eyes spoke of past meetings he could not remember fully. But he knew Mrs. Sukunami and her husband had been part of it. Shaking his head free of cobwebs, Asakura continued his way out to the streets and on his way to his college courses.

Naisen regarded his counselor as they went through the usual banter of twenty questions. Hongo-sensei was someone he could trust, wasn't she? She was wise and friendly and sincerely seemed to care about his well-being.

Then again, weren't parents supposed to? Naisen sighed inwardly, eyes darkening again. He couldn't tell her. It was unspeakable what he was going through. He didn't know of anyone else ever who were touched the way he was at age eight, and he didn't plan on revealing his shame. As long as he could talk with Sadako late at night, it was okay for now….

"What is on your mind right now, Naisen-kun?" Yui asked gently. They had just stopped talking about Sadako and Hiroshi when Naisen stared off out the window.

"Nothing, Hongo-sensei…nothing at all," he whispered. His heart clenched, outraged he couldn't tell her. But he would harden it, and keep it to himself.

Yui saw Naisen out of her office with a heavy heart. Her seishi was only doing passingly, and she worried for him. She should think about him instead of her own problems.

Yui tried to call Tetsuya on his cell, but only reached a voice mail. She sighed and looked through her school files. Maybe a call to the Shindou household would yield some answers.

Naisen walked home with Sadako and Hiroshi to the other boys' home. He was willing to put off seeing his father this day as long as he could. His friends chattered and walked beside him, and otherwise tried to cheer him up.

Hiroshi wound his arm around Naisen and jabbered on about the stupid book report they had to write this week. Naisen allowed himself the smallest of smiles and bantered back easily. Hiroshi was trying his hardest.

"Will Ash be okay?" Naisen murmured to Sadako. She nodded her head, buns flying as she swung her lunchbox back and forth.

"Course! My mother is looking out for him," she confirmed. Naisen chuckled and thought of the irritating puppy. The dog pissed him off for no reason, but he tried to make the effort to be kind to him as Sadako loved him.

Maybe it was the way Ash's eyes seemed to look right through him. But he knew what Naisen was thinking.

"Mama said she'd be home already since she had to leave in the middle of the day," Hiroshi commented. Sure enough, Miaka was there to greet the children with smiles and a hug.

Naisen only stared at Mrs. Sukunami blandly when her arms encircled his small frame. Why was she being so nice? She barely knew him. Miaka only smiled for him and patted his blond hair.

"Did you three have any homework?" she asked. Hiroshi and Naisen nodded while Sadako shook her head.

"Well, you can do it later. For now, let's play hide and seek!" she offered. Sadako and Hiroshi cheered while Naisen raised an eyebrow.

Since when did adults play games with children? But he knew it wasn't unwanted….

"Okay, you kids hide, I'll start counting! One, two…" Miaka covered her eyes with her hands and started. Hiroshi giggled and tugged on Naisen's arm, pulling him to the garden of their first floor apartment.

"She'll see you!" Sadako insisted knowingly, hiding behind the kitchen's trash can. If she knelt just right, the tall can hid her well enough.

"Sss! Says you!" Hiroshi stuck his tongue out and tried to hide in the waist high flowers. Naisen crawled under the small table they kept out there.

Yui hung up her cell phone and cleaned up her office. She had stayed far too long after school had ended due to a phone call that went nowhere. Shindou Rebecca had offered no guilty words, or an explanation at all. She numbly only offered that perhaps Naisen had fallen down the apartment steps sometimes. Otherwise, she had nothing to say.

In fact, she seemed surprised to hear from her son's school counselor. Yui decided to keep the element of surprise, thinking perhaps Naisen didn't tell his parents they were speaking. For now, perhaps she should keep that a secret in case something was going on at home….

Yui excused herself and waved to the remaining secretaries and teachers, walking out to the street. She needed to decide what to do about Saito. She couldn't put him off forever, and certainly not when she missed him. Tetsuya still hadn't picked up his cell so Yui could only assume he was still at work.

Yui's footsteps took her to the twin's apartment building and she climbed the stairs to their floor. Slowly she came to the door with the slot reading Boshin Asakura and Boshin Saito. She knocked once, and thought seriously about running.

The door opened before she make good on that decision. Saito stood in the doorway, his chest bare and sweatpants hanging low off his hips. Yui's eyes traveled down then up as he gaped at her and she blushed.

"Yui!" Saito blushed, raking a hand through his messy hair. His bangs adorably hung into his eyes, Yui thought. What was she doing? She smiled and coughed, looking down.

"I came to see how you were doing…since I haven't in awhile," Yui whispered. Saito stammered and rubbed his neck with his fist, awake of his half dressed appearance. Great, she'll think I have some girl here or something! Yui was so refined, a real lady. She shouldn't have to think something like this!

"I wish to know to expect you…" he stammered, inviting her in. Yui blushed and walked in, her arm brushing his bare side accidentally. Both burned at the contact and turned to each other.

"Is it…a bad time?" she asked, desperately afraid of the answer. Is it too late for me with you?

"No! No, it's never a bad time…" he insisted. How could I refuse you anything? Yui giggled, taking in his deep blush as it spread across his neck and down his chest. A full body blush… how adorable.

"I seemed to have awakened you in any case," she laughed and Saito stared at her in amazement. She was so beautiful…. she should be laughing always.

"Oh! I was just ….. laying and thinking," he laughed weakly. Yui sat on the couch and watched him pace back and forth in front of her.

"About what, Saito?" she asked gently. Saito turned to her, the look of a starved frustrated young man caught on the spot.

"About us, what do you think?" he said sharply. He watched Yui pale and he cursed to himself.

"Yui, I didn't mean to yell but…I have to know, where do I stand with you?" he asked softly. Yui wrapped her fingers nervously around the ends of her long hair.

"I…I do care about you, Saito. You have to believe me on that…" she whispered. Saito beamed at her words, his chest muscles flexing proudly. She watched, transfixed, and shook her head.

"But I love Tetsuya…. I can't do this to him," she confessed. Saito sighed and looked away. Yui wanted to run a hand over his tense shoulders and loosen his muscles. Finally he turned to her, and knelt down, taking her hand.

"Can I still see you? As your friend?" he asked hopefully. At Yui's nod he laid his lips to the back of her hand chivalrously.

"Good, I wouldn't have it any other way," he teased. Yui sighed and patted the top of his head dearly.

"Saito…. Thank you for being so understanding…. What do you say we go out tomorrow? Spend some time together?" she asked brightly.

Saito grinned and pulled her up into a hug. Yui blushed and held onto him. His flesh burned beneath her touch…how would he be if they touched all over?

All too soon they let go and stared into each other's eyes. Their lips drew closer and closer without their knowing until the front door banged open.

The two sprang guiltily apart as Asakura lumbered in, carrying his schoolbooks and shoulder bag.

"Hey, you two made up! Good to see you here again, Yui-san," Asakura winked. Yui laughed and the three teased each other.

Tetsuya slumped over his desk, head cradled in his hands as he went over his reports. It wasn't the files in question that made his brain hurt, but the current situation he had put himself in. How could he have created such a personal soap opera? The object of his turmoil, the slip of an intern named Emiko, slipped around his desk, a cup of hot tea in her hands.

"Tetsuya-san, please, you need to keep your strength up," she demanded lightly, her eyes shining in concern for him. Tetsuya's stomach dropped and he nudged the steaming cup before him.

"I'm sorry, Emiko-kun, but I don't the heart for tea right now," he confessed. The two had developed quite the work relationship that he felt he could open up to her and talk about anything. While friends did this, his heart had strayed dangerously over to affection and longing, and the line pressed daringly closer to lust day by day.

Yui. He would not betray Yui. Even if it hurt that she mooned over something she would not tell him these days. He tried everything to gain her full attentions and while she seemed intent on making up for something she had done herself, he was guilty also for harboring longings for somebody else.

It didn't help Emiko openly liked him, and went so far as to massage his shoulders while he was on this train of thought. Tetsuya sat stiffly, head leaning back as he moaned openly. Emiko giggled, her hands precise across his broad shoulders.

"You're so tense, Tetsuya-san…come on, what's up? Can't you talk about it to me?" she asked in her lovely lilting voice. Tetsuya flushed, eyes hidden behind his shades.

"I'm afraid not, Emiko-kun…but you'd be the first to know if I did talk," he confessed, his voice light and husky. Emiko's hands strayed around his shoulders and to his chest, her small body pressed against his back from behind.

"Just know, I'm here for you," she whispered sweetly. Tetsuya flushed harder as her breasts pressed against his neck. His pants swelled and he closed his eyes. Slowly he brought his hands up and patted hers.

"Emiko-kun….I'll see you tomorrow," he said. He turned his face to look at her over his shoulder and almost nudged noses with her. They stared at each other and Emiko's small fingers sifted through his dark hair lovingly.

"Okay, Tetsuya-san," she whispered, blushing. She kissed his cheek and Tetsuya closed his eyes at the sweet pleasure. They separated and Tetsuya coughed, folding his hands over his lap.

"I'll see you!" she added, swaying out of the office. Tetsuya dropped his head into his hands again, and gathered his files to head home. What was he thinking? He couldn't betray his Yui. Not after all they had been through.

He loved her dearly, but he wondered if her heart was fully open for him alone. It hurt and day by day pushed his body to want Emiko's small hands and caresses. He had the most insane thoughts of passion regarding the petite woman. If he wasn't received fully at home, go for someone who did want him elsewhere.

Tetsuya shook his head and nudged his shades further up on his nose, pulling his suit jacket on. He wasn't that type of man. He would be loyal to Yui. But if she didn't tell him what was coming between them, he wouldn't be able to stop his lusts for Emiko.

Tetsuya walked out of the office and straight home.

"Hi," Yui whispered, as her boyfriend came into the door. Tetsuya smiled lightly and put down his briefcase at the door with his shoes.

"Yui…" he walked over to her and picked her up in his arms. Yui's arms twined around his neck dearly and they kissed sweetly. There were hints of their usual passion but it felt dulled today. Tetsuya's heart thudded and he rested his head against his lover's shoulder.

"Tetsuya?" she asked, her fingers twined in his hair. Tetsuya shook his head and put on a brave smile.

"It's nothing…how do you feel today?" he asked. Yui sighed.

"I feel just fine….not too badly," she lied. Her heart twisted in her chest and she felt guilty to Saito. This was why women who had affairs went crazy. They couldn't chose between one or the other.

"All right, then," Tetsuya said lightly, setting her back down.

After dinner, Tetsuya snuck out on the balcony to call his own confidant on the matter.

"Hello! Keisuke here," Yuuki Keisuke chirped on his end. Tetsuya laughed, eyes twinkling behind his shades.

"Keisuke old buddy, how's married life treating ya?" he asked, teasing.

"Tetsuya! Hey, you still owe me 10,000 yen!" Keisuke yelped. Small voices behind him chattered and Keisuke had to smile.

"Actually, that was you! Don't try to weasel out of it. Is that Mayo? She sounds well," Keisuke grinned as he watched the busy city.

"She's just fine. A little queasy, but I'm there for her," Keisuke beamed. He and Mayo had married once she had graduated from high school three years after the reopening of the Universe of the Four Gods. They had been happy and slight on the monetary funds but he had supported her through college. Their first child had been born through her second year of college and was now three years old.

"Hey, you have to stop knocking her up, she may not like that," Tetsuya teased. Keisuke guffawed and cursed at him lightly.

"She's only in her second month, don't say it like that," Keisuku protested. The two men laughed and swore at each other then quieted down.

"Is this about the book? Do we have to rehack those files again?" Keisuke asked seriously. After his wife had been dragged into the book by the false Suzaku years ago, he had gone into the National Library files with Tetsuya in a daring attempt to keep the book from open use ever again. They had listed the book as truly lost and discarded, and the brightly bound red book was sealed at the Yuuki household in a fireproof, waterproof safe kept in Keisuke's home study.

Tetsuya grew somber as well. "No, it's not that. It's about Yui…."

Keisuke sighed. "Is that all? I thought there was something going on. The stars of Seiryuu have been acting up a lot lately."

"What?" Tetsuya demanded. His friend made a noncommittal sound over the line.

"It's true! There have been studies coming up for the Dragon God out of nowhere at the school, and the stars have felt chaotic. I'd say something's happening with the warriors of that god," Keisuke offered. Tetsuya shook his head.

"Keisuke, you never fail in your studies, do you?"

"Not while it's been in our lives," Keisuke said seriously. Mayo chirped something at him in the background and Keisuke laughed.

"It's about this girl at my office actually…."

Yui and Tetsuya laid down side by side in their bed that night, each focused on their own problem of the heart. Tetsuya lightly stroked his girlfriend's side and Yui laid on her side, sighing. She missed Saito already. Could she sleep with Tetsuya and forget about it for the moment? She would have to. She was seeing him, not Saito.

Far across the city, a young reincarnated soul tossed and turned in his bed, wanting his priestess.

End for now

I apologize for the wait, if anyone had been waiting for this. Real life and my Inuyasha story got in the way. Hehehe

I gave the twins the last name of Boshin, as it was part of their past live's names. Lame, I know, hahaha…

… But I hope you enjoyed. Please review!

Sincerely yours, penpaninu 10/08/05


	10. Chapter 10

I know it's been awhile! Thank you for being patient, if you've been looking for this. I will resolve to work more on my FY stories (This one and my Houki ones) now that my huge Inuyasha saga is finally over. I intend something of a sequel for that one, but it won't be all time-consuming as the story previous to it. I had fun with the Yash gang!

But it's time to visit the Yuugi people. Hehe!

You get a power point if you guess which new character has shown up in the story below. Read on!

Thanks always to KittyLynne for her inspiring FY stories, and her uplifting words! I hope you read this one too.

Hey Inuyoukiskye, hope you get to these fics! Yash saga is over, dude.

Please review

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Fushigi Yuugi in any way, shape, or form, but does claim to see the Mysterious Play in life.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter ten

by penpaninu

Naisen and Sadako walked to school one morning, chattering off and on about their different classes and studies. Sadako had snuck over yet again, claiming her parents were the cause and Naisen had shrugged, letting her in under the covers again. He didn't mind Sadako's closeness as the nights went by. It was something to look forward to when he got back from his father's office building. No matter how sore, how he would limp into his room, how his mouth would burn, after he washed up and fell into bed, he knew Sadako would be there.

His heart felt strangely hurt and uneasy around her closeness but he knew it felt good to have her near. Naisen couldn't begin to fathom why he would feel so hurt seeing her bright smile when he would hold back the covers for her.

"Hiroshi said he'd meet us at the corner," Sadako was saying, playing with one of her hair buns. Naisen raised one small hand to adjust her hair then let his hand lower.

"His mother's not walking him to school?" Naisen asked quietly. Sadako giggled, liking the way his shoulder-length hair shielded his chin. Naisen really was cute and he liked her.

"Oh no! I think Mrs. Sukunami already took off with Hiroshi's dad," Sadako laughed, swinging her lunchbox. Naisen hugged hitched his schoolbag higher up on his thin shoulder.

"Hey there he is now," Naisen muttered. Sadako grabbed his hand and dragged him closer to their schoolmate.

Hiroshi waved, and jogged up to meet them halfway, his navy-blue hair flying in his eyes, "Hey! Morning, guys," he greeted. Naisen shrugged while Sadako beamed.

"Did you finish your book report?" Hiroshi asked as the three moved towards the school entrance.

Naisen groaned. "Just barely! I uhm….had to go to out to eat with my parents some of the night," he blushed, hoping his friends would buy another lie about what he did so often at night. Sadako frowned, thinking.

"Did you fall at the restaurant, then? You said I touched a bruise," Sadako said innocently. Naisen nodded a couple of times rapidly.

"You got it, Sadako-chan," he winced and tried to smile. Sadako thought he looked so sad.

"Wait, touched a bruise? What are you guys doing at night!" Hiroshi laughed, teasing his friends. Sadako laughed and blushed while Naisen pretended to ignore them.

Ahead of them, a tall woman with long light blue hair knelt to hug her child goodbye.

"Sumiyoshi-sensei will take you to your classroom, so you be good!" she smiled, straightening. Her small son, his hair matching his mothers, stood straight and important, face set in an eager but careful smile.

"Okay, mama. I'll see you after school."

"Have a good day, Toya," the mother said. Toya inclined his head and walked into the school building.

Naisen and Hiroshi sat at attention, waiting for their teacher to begin class when a small slender boy walked in behind her. Hiroshi shrugged and flashed a grin to his friend. New kids were always fun! But Naisen merely frowned and studied the boy. He was so slender, you could mistake him for a girl, even in the boy's uniform. His face was just so smooth and pretty, and his light blue hair longish and combed neatly.

When the boy stood at attention beside the teacher, Naisen's jaw clenched as the boy's eyes sought his and held his stare evenly. What was with this kid? He defied anyone with just a glance, and he felt so familiar. Naisen felt as irritated as if he knew the kid from somewhere before and didn't like him as much as others. Why was that?

Toya merely put a stiff smile on his lips as he studied the statuesque blond boy staring at him. What a handsome boy! Maybe they could be friends…. funny how he thought he knew him just by first sight. This would have to be explored…

"…and let me introduce our new student, Miyamoto Toya." The teacher finished her small speech and finished up. Toya stood straight.

"I am Toya. It is a pleasure to meet you," he said formally, and bowed at the waist, hands in front of him.

Miaka poured Yui and herself a mug of coffee as they listened to Sumiyoshi talk to one of the secretaries.

"I'm so sorry, sir, I promise I won't be late again," Eri bowed, her face flushed red in embarrassment. Sumiyoshi, flustered, ran a hand through his short hair and sighed.

"That will do, Eri-kun. Just keep that in mind, please," he finished, turning for the principal's office. Eri bowed once more and shuffled back to her desk in a hurry.

Miaka poured a third mug and carried it to the flustered young woman, and offered it to her. "Here, take this. You'll catch chills if you don't calm down!" she smiled brightly. Yui breathed a sigh of relief as Eri managed a watery smile and sipped the black coffee bravely, her slender hands no longer shaking.

That was good ol' Miaka. She never failed to bring out the best in people she touched throughout her days.

"T-thank you, Sukunami-san!" Eri stuttered and relaxed as Miaka bestowed a smile in response as bright as the sun.

"Don't worry about it, Eri-san! If we didn't look out for each other, Sumiyoshi-sensei would eat us for dinner with a spoon!" Miaka giggled and Eri laughed with her easily. They both knew their principal was strict, but was really a softie, so the joke lacked sharpness.

Yui smiled and shook her head, going over her list of appointments for that day. Shindou Naisen-kun wouldn't be until tomorrow, he seemed to be doing well the past few days. Miaka confirmed to Yui that her son was having Naisen and one Takeuchi Sadako over every other day, or the three went headed for the neighborhood park if Taka needed quiet in the house for paperwork.

Naisen-kun had friends now. What was important was that he realized he needed to keep them, and they could help him not fall apart completely inside. That elusive something was still eating at him, she could tell. If she could only find out what, she could help.

"Yui-chan! Mou, Yui, what are you going on about this time?" Miaka smiled, holding up the creamer for her friend. Yui blinked, then accepted it, pouring half into her mug absently.

"You know how my life works these days," she smiled lightly, touched by Miaka's concern. Her friend grasped her shoulder and nodded.

Taka ducked into the office, smiling and saying hello to the other ladies present, and made his way to his wife. Miaka having picked up the phone to answer a call, didn't notice him until his arm was around her slim waist and his lips pressed to her forehead.

"Thank you for calling….eeeek!" Miaka covered the mouth-piece and swatted her husband. "I love you too, Taka! Mou…. okay…." she went back to her conversation as Taka straightened and headed for the coffee machine.

He sidled by Yui and raised an eyebrow at her. Yui sweat-dropped. Was he trying to let on that Miaka had mentioned her current dating situation? She had made Miaka promise!

"So….Miaka told me about this boy you've been counseling," Taka offered at last and Yui breathed a mental sigh of relief.

"Yes! He's rather…well he's familiar if you know what I mean," Yui hinted, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Taka nodded, his eyes downcast in thought.

"You know, it's strange, after the last time I went into…that place," he finished lamely as Eri walked by. "That the gods were done with us. Why would Seiryuu send him here?"

Yui shook her head, eyes shining in determination. "It may not be any evil one's actions or the gods machinations, but maybe the natural course of their journey. I'm only grateful he's been…sent here," Yui finished as Eri swept back their way. Taka snickered at her own odd cover-up and nodded for her to continue.

"I think he's been given a second chance being sent near us to live again. And Taka, he needs it. I think something's happening to him right now," Yui's brows knit in worry and Taka gripped her shoulder.

"If anyone call help him now, it's you," he smiled, his eyes kind. "I can't forget what he did…but I remember. I remember when I put my fist through him. And I saw his heart."

Yui nodded, eyes wide. Taka had sporadic memories of his life as Tamahome, but that he would remember that helped and touched her. She smiled carefully.

"Thanks, Taka. This means a lot to me," she said. Taka winked and sipped his coffee as Miaka hung up the phone.

"If Nakago could be sent here too then I…"

"It's not just him," Yui interrupted. Taka looked at her as Miaka hugged his arm.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Miaka giggled and leaned up for a quick kiss.

"There's Sadako too. And she has a puppy named Ash," Miaka suggested. Taka's brows drew down in thought as he tried to recall.

"Soi? And Ashitare?" he stammered. Yui and Miaka exchanged a smile.

"Who else is going to show up?" he muttered, raking a hand through his short dark hair.

Outside on the playground, Toya walked up to three children and introduced himself.

In the capital of Konan…..

"We are ever grateful to your presence, Suzaku no schiseishi Tasuki," Empress Houki murmured politely, as she led the exbandit down the palace's hallways. As ever, she was flanked by her maids, and the Prime Minister and his courtiers. Tasuki sauntered behind to her left, not as finely dressed as the courtiers of Konan's capital, but dashing in a dark green silk tunic belted with a yellow sash. His strong legs were clad in white pants and knee-high boots encased his feet.

Tasuki nodded, his earrings swaying with the movements. He flung his red braid over his shoulder and followed Hotohori's wife carefully.

"Ah, I'm…grateful to be here," he said carefully and a smile from the Empress Mother told him he did all right. "Chichiri's on his way, he said… he should be here tonight."

The Prime Minister beamed as the party progressed down the elaborate corridors. "Konan is ever honored to receive her Constellation Stars! Tasuki-sama, you and Chichiri-sama may stay as long as you wish!"

Murmurs of agreement resounded from the courtiers and dignitaries flanked by the aged minister. Tasuki smirked and laid a hand on his slim hip. "I'll take you up on that, but just let me know what delegation job you want us to do…."

Empress Houki led her late husband's comrade to the Shrine of Suzaku. "Offer what prayers you feel you should," she said serenely and Tasuki watched her somberly.

"Thank you, my Empress," he said quietly, kneeling down.

A young male attendant walked around the corner and bowed down also.

"Empress, his highness has taken his bath and awaits you for the evening's meal," he murmured politely.

Tasuki looked over at him. Hells bells, this guy must have had it bad for the Empress. His eyes shone with fire as she regarded him, and although he didn't know his old buddy's wife that well, he could have sworn she took him in the same interest, empress or not.

'Damn, and here I thought I had it bad for the wrong woman!' Tasuki thought and shook his firey head.

Empress Houki chuckled. "Thank you, Shuntaka, I will join his highness shortly." Shuntaka bowed lower and rose to stand by her side.

After a moment Tasuki stood also and pushed his way through the tall double doors. His footsteps carried him across the tiled floor.

Tasuki knelt before the shrine to Suzaku and closed his eyes. It would be blasphemous to _not_ say a prayer to his land's patron god so he offered a few polite words to the Phoenix Beast God above. Then he opened his eyes, wet in tears, as he reflected upon the woman who had summoned that god.

"Suzaku, bless and watch over Miaka. I don't know how she's doing in her world, but if Taka's with her…." The ex-bandit rubbed his eyes with one long silk sleeve. "I hope she's happy."

The red-haired celestial warrior stayed kneeled down in supplication as his shoulders shook. He grieved silently for long moments that seemed to last for eternity as the golden Suzaku statue looked down sternly.

Chichiri peered into the front door to Suzaku's Shrine and let Tasuki have his moment. He knew his dear friend had fallen in love with Miaka over the course of the years, and the last venture together into their world. Tasuki harbored preternatural guilt over his attempts enhanced by Hikou's dark spell and had worked hard over the years to atone for his grief, and to hopefully get over his bashful love for a woman taken away to another man and another world.

However the sensation of love was futile to ignore as Suzaku invoked the natural inclination to feel life's fire and passion, and Chichiri knew Tasuki could not just easily get rid of them. He could sooner cut off his own hand than forget the love in his heart for their priestess.

Finally the monk strode silently into the chamber and stopped behind Tasuki's kneeling form. His friend sniffled and rubbed his face. "Did you want your turn to pray, Chiri?" he asked in a wavery voice. Chichiri could only silently admire his friend's determination to hold his feelings in check. He tried so hard to hold them in, but Chichiri knew when his friend needed an open ear or to be left alone.

"Yes, I do, no da. But first, why don't you tell me why you're hurting, no da," Chichiri asked solemnly, pulling his mask off. Tasuki looked at his friend over his shoulder, his face taut in agony.

"I miss her," were all the words Chichiri needed. The monk patted the top of Tasuki's hair.

"I'll start praying, no da. Why don't you help yourself to some sake, no da?" Chichiri suggested and Tasuki managed one of his old laughs, standing up.

"I think I do need it. Thanks, Chiri. I'll be in my room," he grinned and sauntered out as confidently as he walked in. Chichiri watched the exbandit swagger on out and shook his head. No matter how good Tasuki was at masking off his own feelings, he knew when he needed attention, or in this case, a good stiff drink.

Chichiri knelt before the statue of Suzaku and lifted one hand before his face as he closed his eyes. "Grant me the light and the path to enlightenment, oh Suzaku," he murmured and began to chant.

In his guest chambers, Tasuki stared into a cup of sake, seeing his eyes reflected in the clear liquid. He downed it quickly and remembered a frightened woman beneath him, her breath smelling of sake and her face salty with tears. Tasuki shook his head and grimaced. He could still hear Miaka screaming for Taka beneath him. Hikou had drawn out his darkness to severe jealousy and he had almost taken her.

"If I have to deal with this for this life and the next…." Tasuki muttered, talking to his sake cup. "Then I will. Suzaku, let her be happy…let her be content…." The fire seishi stared down at the small round cup and set it aside. He didn't need the sake as much as he thought he did.

Far off to another world and in a Tokyo apartment, Miaka looked out her bedroom window, looking for the Suzaku constellations. She felt like she was being called for some reason. Chichiri or Tasuki? She kissed her fingertips and set them to the glass, closing her eyes.

"Be happy, you guys…." She thought, and let her hair down, joining her slumbering husband in their bed.

Yui, not being able to contact Tetsuya all day, opted to try the Boshin apartment for companionship. She had to admit deeply to herself, it troubled her about the unspoken rift that seemed to just show up between herself and her boyfriend. Did he know? Did he not want her anymore? She had brought things to a platonic status with Saito, so he had no fear of her cheating on him.

But why was he ignoring her? It hurt Yui, but she couldn't bother Miaka and Taka with each little problem in her love life. So tonight, she sought out a person she knew would be her friend until the end of their days.

Saito opened the door and cheered, bringing the older woman inside with a smile. Asakura raised a beer and hailed their guest as he turned back to the piles of textbooks across the kitchen table. Saito pulled out a chair for Yui and rummaged in the fridge.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked. Yui smiled.

"I'll try that brand Asakura's drinking," she suggested. Asakura laughed, nursing his bottle of spirits.

"Just stay away from mine, Yui-san, and we're fine!" he winked. Saito shook his head good-naturedly.

"A woman who enjoys beer. Yui, you're something else," he said, handing her one of the tall-necked bottles. Yui took a sip and clinked her bottle against Saito's.

"How was work today, boys?" she asked. Asakura raked a hand through his hair and scribbled notes quickly down a notebook, hand flying. Saito laughed, nudging one of his own textbooks.

"It went fine, but we have a test next week for Psych. Can you believe the work that goes into that?" he grimaced. Yui angled closer to take a look at their book and smiled.

"Why, I had this class! Here, let me help…." The young men exchanged notes and theory with Yui as they studied far into the night. Any other young man may have felt lectured, in company of a tutor. Asakura saw a friend with the upper-angle of the class, and a damn fair easy way of getting one to understand it.

Saito only saw her smile and laughs, her slender hands as they turned pages or wrote notes with them. All too soon, Yui was stretching.

"Oh my god! Is that the time?" she asked, pushing her chair back. Saito stood as well, concerned.

"Ah, sorry to keep you so late, Yui-san!" Asakura said sheepishly. He leaned back in his chair and slammed a book shut. "But I think we have the hang of it! Thanks for the help."

"I'll walk you, Yui," Saito offered. Asakura gave him a soliticious wink and Saito brushed his hand at him. Yui nodded, rubbing her neck.

"That would be wonderful. I need to stop somewhere on the way back, I'm starved."

"I'll take care of it, Yui! I made you get back into school study when you didn't have to," Saito teased. Yui smiled as they stepped into their shoes at the entrance.

"You're great, Saito," she said. Saito blushed.

"Ah well that is…see ya, bro!"

'Go get some, aniki!' Asakura thought and snickered as the door closed.

Saito and Yui neared her apartment building, their conversation winding down gradually.

"So, Yui, feel free to keep stopping in," he offered. Great, that sounded bad. Way to sound single and eager. Yui nodded, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I think I will. I really like seeing you and Asakura," she confessed. Saito beamed down at her.

"Hey, we're friends aren't we?" he asked suddenly. Yui looked up past his broad shoulder to his shining eyes.

And her heart skipped a beat. "O-of course, Saito! Why wouldn't we be?" the walk up to her apartment door was spent in silence as both felt and thought the same thing.

Yui paused, looking up into Saito's earnest face. Her fingers reached to touch his jaw….then she retracted them before Saito could feel heaven's caress.

"Good night, Saito," she murmured. Saito nodded, his bangs shielding his eyes.

"Good night, Yui," he patted her shoulder. Too long his large hand stayed there, then he let go.

Yui went up to the apartment she shared with Tetsuya and leaned against the inside of the door. Where was he? She was doing the right thing and he didn't want to see her. She shouldn't feel this outraged, even in her mind, but if he had extra work, he should tell her.

"Tetsuya, come home to me," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. On the walk home, Saito brushed tears from his eyes, feeling her pain.

'If I could take every hurt from you, I would. But you have to figure this out. I'll be by your side waiting!' Saito thought. He walked home in the bustling Tokyo nightlife.

Across town, Tetsuya sat in his office chair thoroughly confused but happy for the brief moment. Emiko had gotten him to talk by the water cooler, so to speak, and learned he was unhappy about what could be happening with his live-in girlfriend. Emiko truly felt for her work mentor, she truly did, but she couldn't help the small spark of hope from flaring within her heart.

Now, she sat on the arm of Tetsuya's chair, taking his shades off so she could peer into his hurt orbs and see every wish and pain there. Tetsuya watched as her fingers traced his jaw, his lips, his nose and cheeks. The simple innocent gesture made his heart ache explicably, and he allowed this very brief moment of pure joy before his brain turned on.

Emiko found she didn't want to stop touching the man she admired after he was calm enough to sit and let her near enough without excuses or paperwork. She knew he had a girlfriend, but something was going on badly between them. Emiko never considered herself 'that kind' of woman, the kind who stole boyfriends or shattered homes, but she just for a moment wanted to love this man she grew to care about. She held no ill wish for his girlfriend. But…

The young woman's lips drew near Tetsuya's and he raggedly inhaled, bringing in the close intoxication of her perfume. Tetsuya closed his eyes and allowed himself to kiss the young woman who stole a corner of his heart and his affections. Their lips moved innocently, then delved to something far more intimate. Tetsuya's arms circled her waist and Emiko slid into his lip. She twined her arms around his neck and scraped her fingers through his hair. Tetsuya in his mindless state didn't care if his hair was mussed or not as his large hands carefully held her slender middle.

His cell phone rang and the two jumped apart, eyes wide and cheeks flushed as their brains registered finally.

"I…I'll finish the paperwork," Emiko stammered, sliding off the chair. Tetsuya nodded, thoroughly stunned as he watched her rush away. He sighed and raked one hand through his wild bangs, and snapped the phone open to his ear.

"Tetsuya….Yui!" he stood up, sure she had felt what he had done, that he would be found out for exchanging a kiss with some one else. As her words reached his brain, he weakly nodded, saved for the moment.

She didn't know. She wanted him to come home. She sounded herself again. But….Tetsuya wasn't so sure he wanted to be saved from what he had done. What on Earth was going on?

"Yes, I'm coming home now, Yui…."

End for now

Yup, the cackling wonder is reborn as little Toya! I chose Miyamoto as it's an old name, and hell everyone likes Musashi. Hail the melodramatic Tomo has been reborn! Looking for the last one? You have only to ask.

I myself remain a Yui and Saito pairing fan, so that's why I'm giving Tetsuya a chance to hook up elsewhere. I'll resolve this love triangle-rectangle in due time, but for now the stage is being (re) set.

And with all of the wonderful works of KittyLynne to occupy me with, I had to throw a Tasuki scene in there. The character of Shuntaka belongs solely to me and if you read my Houki one-shots, you would recognize him.

Tasuki and Chichiri are still alive in the other world, and I wanted to say that openly here as I haven't visited them yet.

Like it? Hate it? Want Miboshi in there? Review, please! Love ya, man.

Sincerely yours penpaninu 10/21/05


	11. Chapter 11

Now that Shuntaka thoroughly pulled an Althena to my forehead (ie: crawled out if it), I can continue on with Naisen and the others! Who did you hope would prevail in the love-triangle/rectangle? The beginning of the results are within….

Along with the last Seiryuu schiseishi. He didn't have enough said about his last life. Maybe we can elaborate more within!

Miss Lynne, as always, this one is for you. If you have any input on counseling again, I'd be much appreciative! You can adopt Shuntaka to give you a mental pick-me-up if you wish. He will take care of your children, and practice kung fu for you. And possibly serve you for the rest of his days (wink)

FushigiYuugifan, I don't know you well, but thank you for always reviewing! I'm pleased you like the story.

Ledefey, you get a notice as well. I see you every other day, but thanks for the reviews! I Take great stock in yours (ie: always respond after I email the fic!)

Inuyoukiskye, if you wish to take a gander at FY again, I'd be honored if you read this story. I'm trying to update the other story soon!

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Fushigi Yuugi in any way shape or form, but does claim to see the Mysterious Play in life. But she does perhaps own the little old shrine lady within the chapter. Penpaninu needed a priestess to sweep the front walk.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter eleven

by penpaninu

Yui was very confused as to what her boyfriend was thinking. When she tried his cell after she had gotten back from the twin's, she had unexpectedly reached him. Tetsuya had come, and their evening went along as it normally could. Tetsuya seemed nervous, and when asked about work, only admitted it was going well.

Tetsuya himself, felt very confused. Yui was worried over his brooding, but she also seemed to be hiding something. What was it? Over breakfast, they merely chewed and studied each other.

"Yui, I…"

"Tetsuya, did you?…" they both stopped, eyes wide and small smiles stretched their lips.

"I'm sorry, Tetsuya, what were you saying?" Yui asked. Her boyfriend smiled sadly and walked around the table to cup her face in his large hands.

"Nothing, Yui…. I'll see you later tonight," he sighed, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Yui looked up, watching him go. She couldn't worry about it now, she had to get to the school.

The once Priestess of Seiryuu pushed her chair back and did the dishes.

"Naisen! Naisen-kun! Naisen, wake up!" Sadako called. Naisen, sobbing in his sleep, opened wet eyes to view his friend's face blurry and saddened over his. He groaned and pushed to sit up, coughing.

"What happened? Was it a bad dream?" Sadako asked, rubbing her friend's back. Naisen nodded, and brushed his wrist against his jaw. Last night had not been fun, to say the least. His father's president had gotten the bright idea to have him 'entertain' certain out-of-town emissaries. Naisen had to allow himself to be used throughout the night. Tadaka had finally taken him home when the men had exhausted their efforts, and allowed his son a brief shower and sent him to bed shortly before 4 a.m.

Sadako had been waiting, hiding under his bed lest Tadaka walk in with Naisen and notice her. She dared not crawl out to see Naisen until he had collapsed into bed. Naisen slept fitfully on and off and it worried Sadako that he feared something. Why was he taken back home so late? Where did his father take him?

She did know she didn't like Tadaka's tone when he had wished Naisen rest for the remainder of the night. "Sleep well." Just imagine, if she could peek out from under the bedspread, his face would be stretched in a sneer as his words led her to believe.

Then the bed had dipped under Naisen's slight weight, and she waited a good twenty minutes before crawling out and getting under the covers with him.

Sadako brushed a lock of hair out of Naisen's eyes and watched him sadly. Could she help him with whatever haunted him? What was so wrong? Naisen's eyes took her in again and he smiled briefly.

"Father will be waking up soon," he murmured and Sadako's heart clenched at the sad smile on her friend's face.

"I don't want to leave you yet," she begged. Her small hands clutched Naisen's to her chest. Naisen laughed weakly.

"Please, Sadako-chan, sneak back to your house," he urged. His face started to seal itself and Sadako shook her head. Don't do that!

"Don't hide yourself from me! Don't…" Sadako urged, her small brows knitting together. Naisen laughed weakly, and he closed his eyes as they dampened.

"You shouldn't…come in here at night… promise me you won't, Sadako-chan," Naisen gently urged. Sadako's heart clenched and broke as he weakly laughed and tried to keep her from helping him. She shook her head, loose hair swaying.

"I can't promise that, Naisen-kun! I'll keep coming back over," Sadako whispered. Naisen began to laugh in a slight hysterical edge.

"You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't.." You shouldn't see me this way. You shouldn't be here after I get back from what happens to me. You won't understand, you won't want to be near me.

Sadako shook her head and lay across his chest, hugging him.

"Don't talk this way, Naisen-kun. You can tell me anything."

Naisen wept.

Tadaka rapped once on Naisen's door and poked in at 7 am. "Time to get up for school, boy. Your mother isn't….feeling well." His face contorted in a grimace telling exactly what he thought about her illnesses, real or imagined.

Naisen, barely having time to fling his comforter over Sadako, nodded. His face was flushed and he let his hair hang into his face as much as it would. He hated being caught, he hated showing any emotion, particularily surprise, to his father. But if he hadn't acted fast, there was no telling what he might do to!…..

Sadako clung to his side under the comforter, barely daring to breathe. She feared her father whenever he screamed and fought with her mother, but Tadaka was hardly the screaming type. However, there was something slimy to his words and gaze that made her know she didn't want to be caught this way. Naisen's body laying rigidly beside hers helped confirm her theory.

"Yes, Father!" Naisen squeaked and coughed, his face still beet-red. Tadaka raised an eyebrow and leaned against the door. It amused him to be the more prepared one here. He was already dressed and washed up for work, while his son was a mess. Plus, he was exhibiting a lot of his emotions at free range. Really, the boy was a disappointment in every way.

"Hmm." Tadaka mused, and discarded the obvious bulge in the comforter, turning around to leave. "Well, study hard. I'll be picking you up after school."

Naisen's flashed flushed in anger as his father closed the door. He grasped his comforter in both hands, and breathed hard. Sadako peeked out from under the blanket after a minute of hearing her friend rasp heavily.

"What's wrong, Naisen-kun?" she whispered. Naisen bit his lip and took a huge inhale of air. He closed his eyes then unclenched his fists.

"It's nothing. Say, could we play at Hiroshi's house today?" he asked. Sadako smiled, and climbed out of his bed.

"Sure we can! But I thought your dad wanted you to go somewhere."

Naisen laughed weakly, running his small hands through his tangled hair. "I don't want to go. So we'll play instead."

Sadako laughed and hugged him. She was careful to sneak back to her apartment across their balconies. It was laughingly easy, as Tadaka had already left for work, and Rebecca was holed up in the master bedroom, presumably ill, as Tadaka had reported.

Back in her own room, Ash whined and wagged his tail. Sadako bent and picked him up, cuddling him against her chest. "Did you miss me! Naisen-kun says hello," she giggled. Ash wagged his tail and yipped once, licking her cheek with his rough and warm tongue.

"You like him, don't you," Sadako said knowingly. Ash wagged his tail in response, his eyes shining. "I think he'll like you in turn…."

That said, the child set her soul sibling down and turned to dress into her school uniform. Her mother called out that she would do her hair up this morning and Sadako walked out of her bedroom, Ash at her heels.

"Naisen-kun, why do you give the new boy those mean looks?" Hiroshi asked as the three walked into the school gates. Naisen shrugged his thin shoulders and looked nonchalantly around.

"I don't give him looks," he said smoothly. Sadako chuckled and punched his arm.

"You do too! Why don't you like Toya-kun? He doesn't seem so bad…."

"He's just too pretty!" Hiroshi commented. "Are his parents movie stars or something? He just is so…."

"Elegant. And arrogant. And needy." Naisen finished. Were had _that_ assessment come from? But he was sure his descriptions were more than accurate. That boy had always infuriated him from day one, and this time was no different.

While any adult may question their personal psyche closely as to why feelings of familiarity cropped up for strange people they had never met in their life, Naisen was a boy and knew his thoughts were true even if they were strange. Children weren't often in the habit to question their own intuitions.

Naisen's attitude did not improve when the aforementioned boy darted forward, arms clasped behind his back cutely.

"Good morning, Naisen-kun! You look well this morning. Your hair looks abit mussed though, do you mind?" Toya said eagerly. Before Naisen's lips could part to give him a resounded 'no' even though he had no idea to what Toya was referring to, the shorter boy reached up to brush the ends of Naisen's shoulder-length hair back from his face. His fingers tips straightened the taller boy's uniform collar and he beamed.

"Just right!" Toya chirped then laughed. Sadako and Hiroshi shivered and looked to each other.

"Uhm, we're right here!" Hiroshi stated obviously. Sadako nodded rapidly.

Toya turn to sweep his calculating gaze over them and smiled.

"Oh, you're not in our class. Uhm…Satsuki, was it?" Toya asked. Sadako's mouth dropped open and she gaped at the rude boy. How dare he! Naisen wanted to be with _her_….. and while she knew this to be true, where had that thought come from?

"It's Sadako!" she squealed, face red in embarrassment. Hiroshi groaned and swept a hand through his dark-blue hair.

"You don't have to be mean just because she's in a lower class! Didn't your mother teach you?" Hiroshi asked. Naisen saw Mrs. Sukunami in his mind's eye, arms open for a hug as Hiroshi would run up ahead to fly into her embrace. His heart clenched and he swallowed in agony.

Toya shook his head, surprisingly open. "She taught me, but she and father are always reading their new lines, I have a feeling what they teach me comes from there."

"Lines?" Sadako asked, past transgression forgiven. Toya nodded, brushing his longish hair back with a fine small hand.

"They both act in small tv dramas. They're not well known, but they love what they do," he commented. Hiroshi smiled, the boy's mean words forgotten for the moment.

"Wow, tv stars! Maybe we can meet them," he suggested. Toya laughed shrilly.

"If you want to, be my guest. I'm more interested in seeing what being around you guys has to offer."

Sadako flushed and frowned, feeling rather plain around the elegant boy. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and smoothed her skirt but Toya seemed to show her up.

"Perhaps," Naisen agreed smoothly, then touched Sadako's arm uncomfortably. "I'll see you at recess." Naisen stepped in side by side with Hiroshi, leaving Toya glaring at the both of them, and hurrying to rush in before the bell rang.

Yui hurried along down the busy Tokyo walkway on her lunch break, checking her cell phone messages. She was in such a hurry, she almost didn't see the elderly woman hunched over her broom until it was nearly too late.

"Whoa, Nelly!…" Yui hissed and made a last minute leap over the stooped woman, glad she wore slacks that day. The woman looked up to see Yui hopping away on one foot to regain her balance. "Ah, geez…" she muttered, ankle hurting.

"Are you well, Miss?" The old lady asked in a wavery voice. Yui hissed and tapping her heel on the asphalt, but put a smile on her face.

"Just fine! I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am…" she waved and turned to jog off, cell phone cradled in her hands. The old woman bowed at the waist, and started to sweep when something dawned upon her.

"Oh, Miss! Miss! Wait!" she called, hobbling after Yui. Yui skidded to a stop, glad she wore flat-top shoes as well, and turned, chest pushing hard for air.

"I'm so sorry, did I disturb you?" Yui asked politely. The woman bowed again in front of Yui and smiled, her face a mass of wrinkles.

"It is I who must apologize, kind lady! Mitsuko! Mitsuko, bring one of the formations here!" the old waved back to her small shrine and Yui groaned. If she wanted to make it to Tetsuya's office building before her break was over, she'd have to take off now. But she waited for the old lady's assistant to make his way over and her heart thudded.

Slanted mischievous eyes met Yui's startled orbs, and she took in the shaved head, and the assistant's robe. The small boy smiled brightly and bowed that bald dome to her waist. Miboshi! Where was that rattle he always toted? Yui noticed the boy held a broom tightly in his right fist instead. She bowed slightly, nervous to the last Seiryuu seishi that was part of her celestial fold but had never made himself known to her heart.

"Here you go, kind lady," Mitsuko smiled as brightly as the sun, offering a small flower formation from the front of the shrine. The old lady beamed at his side, nodding at his offering.

"Oh! Thank you…"Yui said and reached down. When their fingers touched, Mitsuko's eyes darkened thoughtfully and he and Yui gazed at each other.

"Well, we're keeping this fine lady from her errand! Come along, Mitsuko, you have the shrine floor to wash," the lady urged. Mitsuko bowed again, his eyes watching Yui from beneath his brow.

"Yes, Yuriko-san!" he said and followed her back. Yui gazed at the shrine. She knew the name now, so she knew where her last celestial seishi was living.

Tetsuya's office friends hailed Yui as she walked onto their floor of their building and she smiled and waved, pleased she was well known at his workplace. Tetsuya really did care about her. He loved her, and boasted about her. Yui was resolutely glad she had decided to stay with him before she turned the corner and her heart sank to her shoes.

Who was that pretty young woman leaning over her boyfriend's shoulder, working with him on a file? She was quite lovely, with long dark hair and a modest but attractive fashion sense. Yui felt like a bookish fool in comparison and she licked her dry lips to call to Tetsuya, when his bright smile at the girl made her heart stop. She had seen that smile before, in their times alone.

And when Tetsuya just sat there grinning like a fool when she kissed his cheek in passing, Yui darted off to leave.

Yui went through the rest of her work day in a daze. She was fortunate she didn't have Naisen to counsel today, for she could barely give herself attention right now. Sumiyoshi noticed her vacant attitude, and threatened to lecture her, but dear Miaka took his elbow and walked him aside to speak to him quietly. Yui could only thank Seiryuu she had as dear a friend as Miaka. She wanted to take care of everyone.

What had she just seen? What was that? A kiss on the cheek? So, Tetsuya had a new young intern. She was rather lovely, and she had to be qualified for the job, right? Then why did her heart hurt? Why did Tetsuya grin like a fool when she touched him? And why didn't she announce her presence?

"I'm a damn fool," Yui whispered. She picked up her cell phone as the school bell rang and proceeded to feel a bigger fool.

"Hello?" Saito's smooth voice was honey to her fractured heart.

"Saito, can I come over?"

Asakura didn't know what to think. Yui-san had come over in the early afternoon and made his brother skip his next class. Well, that wasn't accurate. She didn't make him miss anything, but the instant he saw how upset she was, he had blown off the rest of his plans for school that day.

Asakura could only pat Yui on the shoulder, and promise his brother he could copy his notes. He hoped she would feel better.

Back at the Boshin apartment, Yui sat on the couch with Saito, her head against his shoulder. Saito sat still and listened to her talk about the pretty young intern, and the seemingly innocent kiss on the cheek. Considering Yui said this Tetsuya was being awfully funny lately, this could be more than an innocent kiss between friends. But he sat quietly and let her talk, squeezing her hand.

"I'm going to have to talk to him tonight. Oh, Saito, you must hate me coming to you for this….I'm so sorry to disturb you," Yui whispered. What was she doing to this young man? She was resolved not to see him romantically, yet she was pouring out a potential breakup to him! She would only get his hopes up like in the past, but it wasn't like then. She wanted him this time! She knew she did….

When Saito's strong hand clasped her shoulder and squeezed, Yui's heart sank further though brightened at once. Saito was a strong caring man she didn't deserve, but she did want him. She closed her eyes when Saito pressed her to his side and patted her platonically.

"I don't hate you coming to talk to me, Yui…how could I hate you? We're friends, aren't we?" He asked quietly. When Yui looked up, his smile was wide and he winked. Yui sighed. She truly didn't even deserve this man's friendship. But she did feel better.

"Thanks, Saito…I mean it. I'll call you later after I've talked to Tetsuya," she said. Saito touched her forehead with two fingers.

"I hope it goes well," he hoped, but deep in his heart, he didn't hope hard enough.

Tetsuya was a little worried when he got home and Yui was waiting, perched on a kitchen chair.

"Tetsuya, can we talk?" she asked. Tetsuya, his heart clenching, made his way over slowly. He took off his shades and laid them on the table and set across from her.

"What is it, Yui?" he whispered. Yui smiled sadly and put her hands over his.

"Do you love me?" she asked simply.

"Of course I do!" Tetsuya stammered. Yui asked him about the girl in his office, and Tetsuya explained. Yui pried deeper, her counseling sessions coming in handy, and Tetsuya admitted his feelings to her.

"But I love you," he stated firmly. His heart thudded when Yui's hands squeezed his dearly.

"I love you too. But I also love him….." Tetsuya's heart caught in his throat as his Yui told him about a young man named Saito. She told him about his taking college, and his job, keeping out the celestial reincarnation until a later time. It would be hard enough to hear this so far but she would be gentle.

Tetsuya gasped and looked down at the table, their hands entwined. "What does this mean?" he asked quietly. Yui looked at him, tears shining in her eyes.

"I can't marry you, Tetsuya. I love you…." she whispered. Tetsuya knew what she was saying. It was going to end for them, but not badly as he feared.

It didn't mean he couldn't still be heartbroken over it. They sat quietly and talked gently to each other, easing the other's pain as best they could.

"Will you live with him?" Tetsuya asked, his heart searing briefly in jealousy. Yui shook her head.

"I want to stay with Miaka for awhile, and we'll see," she whispered. Miaka would make her feel welcome until she knew what to do. She and Taka would take care of her because they loved her too. She kissed Tetsuya's palm fondly and let his hand down.

"Are you going to live with her?" she asked, her heart breaking in jealousy a moment. Tetsuya smiled sadly, his eyes open and pained without his customary shades hiding them.

"How could I, at least right away? Yui, it's not off with the old, on with the new….I'll miss you. You have to know that," he whispered. Yui nodded and the two stood, coming around the table to embrace each other. They cried softly as the night wound on and on. Eventually they made their way to the couch and kissed sad goodbye kisses.

In the morning, Tetsuya called a cab for Yui as she took a couple of suitcases to the door. They regarded each other. Tetsuya cupped Yui's palms in his hands and kissed her one last time. She cried as the door closed. But one had to move forward. Yui picked up her suitcases and met the cabbie at the door.

"Of course, you can stay with us! Until you decide what to do," Miaka encouraged when a weary Yui made her way to the Sukunami residence the next day. Yui smiled weakly and thanked her in a groggy voice.

"What about Taka? I don't want to intrude," Yui whispered, her eyes hurting. Miaka shook her head.

"I'll talk to him later! Just go greet him and I'll take your bags!" Yui almost could laugh this morning as Miaka valiantly wrestled one of the large suitcases inside. Yui made her way to the kitchen where Taka looked surprised to see her, but greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. Yui noted ironically, this kind of kiss on the cheek was purely platonic and sank into a kitchen chair wearily with the assessment.

"Yui, you need some coffee. Maybe you should call in sick today," Taka urged gently, setting a large mug before his friend. Yui smiled weakly and took a sip.

"I think I just may… could you please tell Miaka to look over my files today?" she whispered, rubbing her eyes. Taka nodded, his eyes gentle and he left the kitchen to discuss Yui's temporary residence.

"Aunt Yuiiiii!" Hiroshi crowed and skidded into the kitchen on stocking feet, his Digimon pajamas bannering on him. Yui had to give a genuine smile as she enfolded her godchild in her arms.

"How are you this morning, Hiroshi-chan?" she asked fondly, kissing his dark blue hair. Hiroshi made a face at the kiss but beamed up at his 'aunt.'

"I'm okay! I didn't know you came over this early! Why are you here before school?" he asked innocently. Yui smiled sadly and hugged him.

"I'll tell you later, Hiroshi, I promise…just please, tell Naisen-kun I'm sorry I couldn't talk to him today," she whispered. Her heart was too sick. She just had to take a personal day off when she wouldn't be good to anyone. Hiroshi nodded, his eyes bright.

"I will, Aunt Yui… just feel better," he urged and kissed her cheek. Yui smiled as Miaka called for him to come get dressed for his day.

Shindou Naisen would be all right for one day.

Shindou Naisen had to talk to Hongo-sensei today. Last night had pushed him to an edge he hadn't known existed. He had ignored his father's direct command to wait for him after school so they could presumably head straight for his private hell. Naisen pushed Hiroshi, Sadako, and even Toya trailing them, to hurry to Hiroshi's house where he tried to forget the wrath that would await him when he finally returned home.

As predicted, it was not a pretty sight. Tadaka had raged and waved his fists, and berated his son up one side of Japan and down the other. Naisen was dragged to the office where he had finally shown defiance. He had struck back, but had received a frightening beating from his father for lashing out at his president. His mouth was bruised almost shut, and his eyes were red with unshed tears and anger. Naisen had come to the conclusion, that aside from his usual mask of safety, he would tell his counselor what was happening if she noticed how he looked today. It was a kind of personal test that Naisen was hoping against all hope she would notice.

And she may be able to make the bad things from happening anymore.

At one o'clock as usual, Naisen made his way to the office and asked to see Hongo-sensei for his appointment. Sukunami-sensei gently told him Hongo-sensei was sick today, but she would be in tomorrow.

"I can talk, if you need to!" Mrs. Sukunami suggested cheerily but Naisen's heart was already iced over, angry beyond redemption.

"No, that won't be necessary. Goodbye, Sukunami-sensei," he whispered in disappointment and turned to leave. Miaka called after to look after his bruises, but Naisen continued outside so he could sit by the playground before his teacher noticed he wasn't talking to a counselor who decided not to show up today.

He had needed her! He was depending on her today! It was unfortunate the timing was bad, but to Naisen's young impressionable mind that was already growing jaded, today had almost been a last-chance scenario. And Yui had failed horribly in being there for him, like she had promised.

"I don't need her. I don't need anyone!" Naisen whispered angrily. His vision blurred until he realized that the sensation were tears, treacherous blinding, _Betraying_ tears. He scrubbed his face good with one sleeve until his bruises felt bloodied and his eyes were dry. He would never show his emotions this way again. He would rather die first!

At the Yuuki heir household, Keisuke wandered to his home study to pursue a few tomes to go over a lecture at his high school. A bright flash of light caught his attention and he turned to regard the safe he had put under one bookcase. He knew what lay within, and perhaps why it would be flashing an intense lightshow.

"What is it this time?" Keisuke wondered. He hunkered down on his heels and reached for the time numbers then withdrew his appendage. He would not open the safe. The Shishin Tensho was safer where it was, under lock and key. It had to only be an outburst from one or more of the reincarnated souls.

Still the random calls for studies of Seiryuu the Dragon God at school was far too convenient to just be nothing. Keisuke turned to the nearest phone and darted in a number, waving to his beloved Mayo as she checked on him.

"Yui? It's Keisuke. Something's happening…."

End for now

Yup, Miboshi made his way in! What a cute little shrine boy. And he's shaved yet again (laugh) I hope you guys enjoyed this. Please review and share your thoughts.

Sincerely yours penpaninu 10/28/05


	12. Chapter 12

I know nothing of the legal ramifications counselors can get into, but I am taking unknown stabs in this chapter. I am a storyteller and am attempting to help a character.

The middle scene with a certain fire seishi was inspired by and written solely for one KittyLynne! I hope you enjoy it You have to understand that Miaka is married in my fic

But…well that's up for conjecture what happens. I leave it to the imagination I love being cryptic. I could be a stand-in for Taitsu-kun! Ack, just kidding oh ghastly one!

Taitsu-kun: (ala Fushigi Akugi in Oni)…I'll kick your ass….

Also a note to my twin, my Boshi link. Hope you have time to read this.

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Fushigi Yuugi in any way shape or form, but does claim to own the character of Shuntaka, albeit briefly he appears. Also claims to see the Mysterious Play in life.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter twelve

It comes out

Yui lay on the Sukunami sofa and listened to Keisuke's theory over the phone.

"You believe something is conspiring with the Stars of Seiryuu?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Of course, Yui! What else could it mean?" Keisuke's voice came over the cell phone chipper and eager. Yui had to quirk a smile at the familiar happy tone that good research brought, reminding her of the days years ago when she had helped research the new characters the Shishin Tensho created before their eyes during the appearance of Tenkou and the advent of the False Four Gods.

Of course most of this 'research' had been in the form of being able to read ancient Chinese.

"Well, it could mean the reincarnated souls are agitated….or happy…or maybe in peril," Yui spoke, thinking of Naisen's troubled blue eyes. Keisuke made a small non-committal sound over the line.

"The reincarnated souls! Yui, have you noticed about all of the Seiryuu stars? Surely you have…." Keisuke began. Yui laughed good-naturedly.

"Keisuke-kun, I've met all of them. They've all been reborn here in Tokyo," she offered. Keisuke gawked loudly on the other end. Yui smirked and rolled on her back, watching the living room ceiling.

"What! Why didn't you TELL me! And here I thought I noticed just from the chaotic swirls of your seishi's constellations!" Keisuke squawked on the other line. Mayo peeked into the study and silently mouthed if he was okay.

Keisuke merely gave her a pained expression that made his pregnant wife giggle. A small child called for her and she darted from the study door ackwardly to attend to his call.

"I hope I would prove I'm a bit more observant than that, Keisuke!" the guidance counselor laughed weakly, shifting under her blanket self-indulgently. Keisuke groaned through the phone.

"Fine, fine, just don't tell Tetsuya that you got the jump on me _this_ time!"

"Ur, well about that…" Yui grimaced. Then she proceeded to tell her best friend's brother about her breakup and temporary residence.

"Why am I the last one to know these things?"

"Really, Keisuke, this happened only this morning!" Yui groaned, rubbing her eyes. Miaka's brother really could be such a melodrama queen.

Naisen spent an agonizing rest of the school day holed up in his anger. He had even lashed out at his friends. When Toya didn't get the message, Hiroshi had to haul him bodily away from the brooding blond, and explain some tendencies of Naisen's. Sadako could only hover with Hiroshi and worry.

"He's bruised up and hurt! What happened?" Hiroshi wondered. His far sheltered mind could not fathom who could want to hurt their friend. Naisen sat alone across the asphalt, his face buried in his knees, while his long hair shielded him.

"I don't know, Hiroshi-chan! He won't talk to me," Sadako said sadly.

"That's because you're not saying the right words," Toya offered, flipping the ends of his light-blue hair over his shoulder. Sadako frowned at him and opened her mouth to object but Hiroshi stood between the two.

"Come on, we shouldn't be arguing!" the young boy frowned and the two reincarnated souls gaped at his show of leadership. They both remembered glimpses of a gallant tall man who wore his blue hair long in a warrior's braid. Hiroshi blushed under the awed scrutiny and crossed his thin arms.

"It wouldn't really solve anything," he mumbled. Sadako nodded as Toya begrudgingly agreed.

"You're right, Hiroshi-chan," Toya said in his lilting voice. "I suppose we should wait for him to come to us."

Yui spent her evening with her god family. She had to admit, helping Hiroshi with his homework and drinking tea with Miaka and Taka calmed her nerves like nothing else. She would call Saito later and inform him what had happened between her and Tetsuya. They could still be friends and if things progressed, then nothing would be in the way.

Yui was almost happy as she sat with her close friends during dinner, watching the neighborhood lights over the small fence of their apartment garden.

Across Tokyo, Saito paced his apartment, wanting Yui and hoping things were going well for her, no matter what had happened.

"Let things take their natural course," Asakura spewed out wisely, sipping a beer and studying at the kitchen table.

Saito paused, and looked over his shoulder at his twin. "Thanks, ototo…"

Asakura grinned and raised an eyebrow askew. "And one can hope to achieve enlightenment when one heeds the call and…."

"Don't go fortune-cookie on me, bro!" Saito groaned. Asakura chuckled and jotted his psych notes down, missing the aide of one Hongo Yui.

One night of more humilation and aches later, Naisen woke with a burning resolution to either stop his pain or unleash all of it onto the world. If Tadaka had stayed around to see his son get ready for school, even he may have felt hindered in laying a hand upon his boy. Naisen's aura fairly burned with a fine tempered rage that simmered easily and slowly. It anyone spoke the wrong word to him, he would rail out at them with tiny fists and battered feelings.

He was just so tired and his mask was slipping.

Naisen stumbled to school, ignoring the usual meeting spots Hiroshi, Sadako and now Toya had selected. His dull eyes promised retribution if anyone spoke the wrong way to him as anger boiled just below the dead surfaces of his cool blue eyes.

He walked in circles around the perimeters of the school, not going to class, trying to collect himself. He was in so much pain. He had to make it all stop. His rage-streaked vision took in the familiar shape of a tall blond woman he knew so well.

So Hongo-sensei decided to come to school today. Naisen's vision went purely red and he hissed as the guidance counselor strode up to him.

"Shindou-kun? Naisen?" Yui stooped to look into his sullen face. Her small gasp at seeing his fresh bruises from yesterday made his heart swell in strange triumph, that she would _finally_ notice his agony. But he was through with her.

"I won't be coming to speak to you again, Hongo-sensei," he spat carefully, his tongue leaden and his words insolent. Yui swallowed, seeing his eyes glaze completely over. The corners of his mouth twitched though. His mask was not complete. He was so close to sealing himself off as he had mastered in his last life. She wouldn't let him.

"Naisen-kun, what happened to you!" Yui gently touched the child's face and Naisen cringed, his face contorted in anger. Yui's eyes widened, but she gently held his shoulder, not willing him to dart away. "Your face… who did this to you?"

Her words, they were so kind. Her words, her voice…. she wanted to help him. Naisen's decision from yesterday warred with her caring appearance and he stood, torn as his small hands clenched and unclenched.

"None of your business!" he snapped angrily, his eyes blurring again. Stupid tears, stupid _betraying_ tears! Why must they show he hurt? "I don't need you! I don't need you anymore….you weren't there! You weren't there when I needed you!"

Naisen bit his lip until he tasted blood, cursing himself some harsh words he only heard his father yell. He had revealed enough already! He just wanted to get away from the counselor and never see her again. Her eyes knew too much. _She_ knew too much about him!

Yui shook her head and held the thin boy by his shoulders, kneeling before him to his level. "I can't just leave you this way. I am sorry I couldn't see you yesterday…" plans to visit Saito today vanished from her mind as she was resolved to help this reincarnated soul before her. "I am sorry I wasn't there. But I am now. And I promise, I will help you."

'I promise I will help you.' Naisen's lip trembled as the kind words leaked through his mask and he fought valiantly through dry sniffs to keep his poise together. You can do this…. you don't need her still. You can be strong alone and you can be yourself alone.

Yui's eyes stared into his and into his soul. Naked trust and sorrow was in her gaze and Naisen cracked completely. His small hands clutched her arms.

"He makes them touch me!" he gasped, tears blinding his vision. Yui's face swam before him.

"Who? Who touches you?" she asked softly, knowing what he meant. She wouldn't let go of him now.

"My father! He takes me to _them_ at his work. Make them stop, Hongo-san!" Naisen fell to his knees, breaking down utterly. His counselor's slender arms wound around his thin shoulders and held him close. Her hands stroked through his long hair, mindful of bruises in his scalp.

And Naisen cried tears for two lifetimes beneath a bright morning sky.

Sumiyoshi conversed with Yui in dread serious tones outside of his office as Naisen sat, crest-fallen and tear-streaked, in the principal's large swivel chair. The boy's hands shakily clasped, not knowing what his future held. But he had decided to trust Hongo-sensei. She had promised to help him.

"This is very serious, Hongo-san," Sumiyoshi murmured, his wide brow ceased with worry. "Very serious indeed! You realize if we go forward, the boy's parents could find cause to sue us?"

"Sumiyoshi-san!" Yui clutched his large arm. "I believe Naisen when he told me he's been…abused! We have to help him. It is my duty, my sworn…"

Sumiyoshi waved a hand. "You don't have to get into it, Hongo-san! We'll call the authorities…." He peeked into his office as Naisen anxiously spun the large chair in a wide circle.

"Thank you, Sumiyoshi-san," Yui whispered and went to her own office to dial the police. She was upset Miaka wasn't there to help aide in the natural way she always knew how. But, she would help later, she knew she would.

Sumiyoshi joined Naisen in his office, and touched the boy's head, lowly telling him that help was on the way.

Tasuki sat on his rear end in Suzaku's shrine, staring up almost insolently at the stern-eyed golden statue. His long booted legs lay before him spread on the tiled floor as he watched the statue, as if willing Suzaku-sama to appear and grant his wish.

For days his heart had burned as fiercely as the celestial mark on his right arm, and he was doomed to scorch within its emotions if he didn't do something about himself.

"I want to see Miaka. Suzaku has to grant me this boon, just once," Tasuki had confessed to Chichiri. The kindly smiling monk only nodded in understanding.

"Then pray to Him, Tasuki. You can only reach His ears if you try," Chichiri suggested brightly as was his way.

"Easy for you, Chiri, you hold His ear," Tasuki mumbled, watching the statue resolutely. The statue watched back impassionately. Gradually, Suzaku's fifth seishi fell asleep in his constant 'vigil'.

"Ow!" Tasuki mumbled, sitting up off the hard floor and rubbing the small of his strong back. "Damn, praying ain't never been my strong suit!" The warrior of fire patted his tessen's hilt, strapped to his waist this time, and stood, offering a belated bow to the Shrine.

"I guess I tried what I could… but even you couldn't fulfill my wish, Suzaku," Tasuki mumbled, lowering his head to the shrine. He stood erect and turned to leave when the statue's eyes glowed a benevolent orange. Tasuki's celestial mark flared up, sensing the Beast God's presence and he whirled in panic.

"What the fu!…" Tasuki made out before his tall form was whirled away from Konan's Shrine to the Phoenix God. Chichiri checked on the room moments later and shrugged finding it empty, sure Tasuki had finished his attempts and had decided to go out for some food on the town alone.

"Chichiri-sama!" A young male attendant of his Highness walked up and bowed lowly at the waist. "Her Imminence has requested your presence for tea. Will Tasuki-sama be joining you?"

Chichiri smiled beatifically to the young servant. "Thank you….Shuntaka, was it? I will join her Highness, though I know not where my friend has gone to."

Shuntaka clasped his hands behind his back and followed the revered celestial monk as he made his way to his Empress.

"Well I pray Tasuki-sama finds the time for tea with her Highness soon. Her Imminence enjoys her delegate's company." Oh, yes, Shuntaka knew this well.

Tasuki hovered weightlessly in time and space before the tall humanized form of Suzaku. He gawked and bowed as much as hanging suspended like so many marionettes on strings could. Suzaku rumbled a laugh as deep as thunder pealing in the heavens and Tasuki cringed, remembering his blasphemous act of falling asleep before his capital's shrine.

"I…I… pray, forgive me, Suzaku!" Tasuki uttered in terror. Suzaku raised one fine eyebrow in amusement and laughed once more. Well this was good. Apparently Tasuki wasn't going to be obliterated in the next two minutes.

"My seishi of fire, how could I show displeasure to a favorite warrior?" Suzaku boomed. Tasuki gaped and nodded his head rapidly, long red braid flying.

"I dun know! But I'm…not in trouble?" he stammered. Suzaku gestured Tasuki close and the man floated closer as if drawn forward by invisible strings. Tasuki was not lost on the ironic comparison once more, and kowtowed as much as he was able to his god.

"You are ever close to my heart, and far from trouble," Suzaku entoned and Tasuki relaxed. "You indicated you had desired a wish from me."

"You got that right!" Tasuki grinned, showing his fangs. "Ya see, I was wondering if I could see Miaka a moment…."

"Done," Suzaku answered simply and Tasuki closed his eyes as fire blew at his face and transported him, unharmed, towards Tokyo.

Miaka turned in her small kitchen, hearing the neighbor's dog barking hysterically from the next yard over. "Really, I hope he hasn't gotten at that stray cat again!" she worried, peeking out of her sliding door into her garden to check.

The next-door dog's head was seen barely over the top of the fence as he yapped away seemingly at Miaka. Then a low moan sounded near her feet and she looked down to see a man from her past sprawled unconscious.

Knee-high boots encased powerful feet and legs, a red-silk tunic was tied over white pants. The red hair was longer, pulled back into a warrior's braid. The familiar tessen of fire was strapped to his left hip as he lay on his right side.

Miaka knew this man, no matter how he had grown.

"Tasuki!"

Miaka was glad she was late heading to the school that morning, as her unexpected visitor lay in her arms. How wonderful to see Tasuki again, but so suddenly! She hoped he would stay long enough to meet her son and see Taka once more.

Tasuki groaned as his head was supported by a soft arm, a delicate hand touching his forehead and cheek, lightly slapping him.

"Dammit, Ma, stop hittin' me!" he groused, his eyes still knit closed. A voice as sweet as the heavens rang to his ears and Tasuki stiffened, sitting straight up in shock.

"Tasuki, it's me! Wake up!" Tasuki gaped as his priestess, looking quite at ease in a sleeveless house dress and sandals, knelt down at his side. Tasuki pushed to his knees, feeling he should be the one paying homage and made to bow but Miaka's hands on his face stopped him.

"Tasuki, you don't have to do that for me! It's just me, Odango Miaka," she giggled, eyes sparkling in their past mischief. Tasuki gaped, his face reddened from her touch and stammered.

"Miaka! How ya been, you little baka?" he asked fondly, his soft awed tone lightening the term. Miaka's smile was as radiant as the sun and she brushed her hand over his brow, moving his long bangs aside with the gesture.

"I've been happy and well! It's been over eight years since I've seen you last," the past Suzaku no Miko crooned, feeling for a fever. "Are you well, Tasuki? You're so hot!"

Why thank you, Tasuki's libido spoke arrogantly in his mind and the warrior flushed harder against her touch. "Wah, wah, come on, I'm just surprised, Miaka!" he stammered, flushing as red as his hair. It didn't help he chose to wear his new red tunic so he was sure he resembled the ripest tomato in the vegetable patch. The sounds of the neighborhood in the major city pressed in on his peripheral attention and he turned to gape at the tall buildings that seemed to tower over the Suzaku no Miko's home.

"Wah wah wah, this is where you live?" Tasuki demanded, wincing at the concrete and steel exposure. The dog in the next yard chose that moment to peek his head back over the top of the separating fences and growl a warning.

Miaka giggled as Tasuki's lips parted to reveal his fangs in a reciprocated snarl. "Yeah, bring it on, mutt-face!" he said, reached for his left hip. Miaka's hands closed over his arm and dragged him into her kitchen away form the hustle and bustle of the surrounding world.

"Just come inside, Tasuki! It may be too much out there for you right now," she urged, dragging the taller man in easily as he went with her movements easily. He would follow her wherever she asked.

"Ah, you really live in this noise trap? Swear you wouldn't be able to hear yourself think!" Tasuki announced, standing and staring at the modern marvels of a clean and efficient kitchen. "Anou, what's all that?"

After some brief introduction and explanation, Miaka had led her seishi to the living room to sit him down with a glass of tea. Tasuki stepped over Yui's suitcase curiously and shrugged, and sat, looking around at framed pictures guarding the inside of the home.

"Hey, is that Taka? Hey…he still around huh?" Tasuki asked lightly, though his heart panicked at the possible answer.

At Miaka's nod, he was resigned to accept second-place and listened to her stories of married life with the reincarnated soul of Tamahome for over eight years. He had noticed pictures of a small boy looking like Tama did, and Miaka gushed stories of a son she called Hiroshi, with the supreme pride only a mother could have.

Tasuki found this visit helped. His heart was surely fractured that she was still Taka's, yet happy, that she had a child that further endeared her to Taka's commitment. Kid must be a marvel, Tasuki found himself thinking. He wondered how Taka would take it, to see him here in their world on a seemingly normal visit. And what her child would think seeing him there, a figure of his parent's past.

"So what are you doing, Tasuki-chan?" Miaka asked brightly, her hands folded in her lap politely. Her eyes twinkled brightly at the fire seishi like they always did and his heart thudded once more and he coughed.

"Ya know, abit of this and that! I gave up robbin an stealin' though, and just go to the stronghold to visit Koji an' the boys. Hotohori's wife, I mean, the Empress Houki-sama granted me an Chiri government positions and we go travelin' a lot and talkin' to leaders. Gotta do with being celestial seishi, I guess! Chiri says we give the people hope still," Tasuki mused, rubbing his strong jaw. Miaka's bright gaze traveled to those strong hands and she smiled.

"Well, it sounds just noble! Really, Tasuki, you made something out of yourself," Miaka demurred, setting her teacup aside and placing a hand over Tasuki's. His hand felt flushed under hers and he looked down at their entwined fingers.

"Tasuki, are you okay? Don't tell me there's trouble, is that really why Suzaku would send you?…" Miaka began but Tasuki shook his firey head.

"Never. The world there is safe beyond belief and all four gods rub elbows if that can be believed," Tasuki murmured and Miaka's eyes softened in relief. He laid his hand over Miaka's far softer digits… okay, down boy. He smiled at his priestess and bowed his head.

"I came because… I missed you. I also came…ah geez, Miaka," Tasuki grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with his free wrist. "What I did to ya….back when Tenkou was out and about, well…"

Miaka's eyes softened. "Tasuki…" Her seishi shook his head and frowned.

"Suzaku let me come all this way and I gotta get it out! Miaka, I came onto you, I was influenced and made to act on them, well, those feelings, and I'm sorry for that. I would never have taken ya to that inn room and forced ya to do _anything_ if I hadn't had those feelings to corrupt…"

Through Tasuki's rant, his beautiful priestess held both of his hands softly in hers. "Tasuki….I know you were influenced by Tenkou's bad intentions…but what are you saying?"

Oh, shit, Tasuki's mind panicked. He had involuntarily all but confessed his love in his flimsy apology for that night years ago! What was he going to do? What could he say? But Suzaku _had_ sent him here…. and he would regret it for years if he didn't at least get the chance to get it off his chest.

"Ah, I mean…ah shit, Miaka.," Tasuki cursed. He stood, then knelt, holding one of Miaka's hands against his chest. "I…I fell in love wi' ya…but it wasn't your fault! I swear…"

Miaka touched his cheek with her palm, eyes glistening as she smiled. "How could this be anyone's fault, yours or mine? You can't fault your heart for feeling. Suzaku granted you to feel so you could know the sensation of truly being alive…."

Miaka always knew what to say, but damned if Tasuki felt cheated from something, and he wasn't sure what. "Miaka! I'm saying I'm in love wi' ya and you're not mad at me?"

"I love you too, Tasuki…. I love each and every one of you," Miaka brightly soothed the distraught man. His wide shoulders slumped down. Of course she would say that. She meant the love from a priestess for her warriors, the cherished camaraderie between friends. She could never mean the love of a woman for a man, the passion and tender devotion meant for one only.

And her one was Taka. Tamahome. It was the same difference here. Tasuki laughed weakly. "Course, ya do, Miaka! I didn't doubt it.." he said lightly.

Miaka rubbed his cheek with her palm again and Tasuki found it hard to pretend mirth any longer. "Tasuki, you don't have to try so hard," she suggested gently.

"Yer right…Miaka I can't. I love you in a different way, like the way you love Taka. You don't love me the same way," he confessed in agony. His eyes looked away from her and down to the fuzzy floor tiles and her hands locked onto his jaw, turning his startled gaze back. Her eyes were filled with tears again.

"Miaka?" he gasped. Her slender fingers traced the sides of his face, his cheekbones, the sides of his noble slanted nose, the corners of his lips.

"I told you…you don't have to try so hard," she whispered. Tasuki gaped at her, mouth parted, then met her lips with his own.

It was fire. Suzaku's fire enveloped him as Miaka's lips moved back against his. It was a sweet kiss between a priestess and her enamored warrior, of understanding and compromise. Then their mouths opened and Miaka made a soft keening whine in the back of her throat when Tasuki's tongue scraped against hers firmly.

It was too much. It was too big of a gift. But Miaka said Suzaku gave them the capacity to _feel_ and to feel was to truly live. And so Miaka lost herself in a passionate embrace different from her husbands but not unwelcome to her needy body.

Tasuki was a being of flame and passion, and he had kept his heart locked away for so long. It truly was a gift from Suzaku that he could confess himself finally, and put his ghosts to rest. And he could not stop himself from grasping his priestess with sure and strong hands, pressing her close to him. His hands and lips promised protection the rest of her days. Devotion the rest of his, no matter where he was.

And Miaka welcomed this surge of love she had always felt for her beloved warrior and friend, taking him as a man of honor. She saw him for the first time in this way and reveled in it. Time and space moved beyond the long moment and they almost were taken away to Suzaku's realm of fire as they moved down onto the living room carpet.

Tasuki hovered on strong arms as slender smooth legs, showing bare from the tangles of a sun dress, moved around him. Passion ebbed hard and steady and breathless moans were uttered as heaven took them away for several timeless moments where nothing, fidelity, honor or duty were. Only love, passion and trust.

It was a weighty existence for two. Maybe they made love. Maybe they only held each other. But they had reached one space in their hearts at least for a moment, if the physical parts had not reached or not. When Miaka came to hours later on her living room floor, Tasuki was taken from her back to Konan.

But she felt oddly fulfilled.

In Konan, a half dressed celestial warrior staggered to the shrine of Suzaku and kowtowed in reverance. Had they made love? He could not even tell for his soul and heart were exhausted in a far more intimate joining.

"Thank you, Suzaku. I am at your service, as I ever am," Tasuki whispered worshipfully, and passed out on the tiles.

The Phoenix statue's eyes glowed knowingly.

The police arrived at noon to collect Naisen. Yui gathered her things and went with him at the boy's fearful expression. Her hand upon his shoulder was his anchor to remain strong in the face of unchartered waters.

The secretaries waved goodbye and Sumiyoshi had touched the top of his head again, saying he wished he could come back to school soon.

Why wouldn't he be at school again? Naisen had worried to himself but Yui's brave but sad smile told him everything would be all right.

Shindou Rebecca was greeted by policemen at her family's apartment door. They learned quickly she knew nothing, but she was taken into custody as well as a raging Tadaka. A small questioning was held for the parents and at Naisen's insistence, the truth was revealed.

It all happened all too fast in some way. Tadaka was put away for a number of years for child neglect and abuse. Rebecca wasn't all in the right mind to enjoy prison, but was placed in a psychiatric ward for troubled women. She was able to enjoy time to herself, all by herself, locked away from her husband and son for an unknown amount of time. Yui reflected it was a small payback in a way for her needs to be paid by Tadaka's personal trust fund and the look on that bastard's face was enough reward when he learned who would be paying for _that_.

Naisen and Yui sat side by side after the aftermath was finally over. Yui had neglected seeing Saito and his brother, but kept them updated through cell phone. Their cheery words inspired her further and she even let Naisen use her phone to dial Miaka's son and his small friends.

Her seishi was smiling small genuine smiles now. He was finally free.

There was still the matter of adoption or temporary custody for him. Naisen was nervous to where he would wind up. But he could grow to be a normal boy. Yui had promised him.

And hopefully he could still continue to go to his school where everyone he knew was.

Counselor and student touched hands and clasped fingers tightly, strong together.

Saito answered the doorbell late one night and was astonished to see Yui there, tired but smiling. She held bags of carryout and she asked shyly if she could come in.

Saito hugged her with one arm and carried her off her feet into his apartment. Asakura was out and most of her testimonies with her student were almost over. She looked like she needed a break, 'and I could use her near me.'

The food was eaten slowly and Saito rubbed Yui's hand with his as she told him of her day's events. Saito filled Yui's ears with amusing stories from work and what girl his brother was flirting with now in the wake of her absence.

Yui fell into Saito's arms sometime later that night and the two joined together so closely, they almost mated right there on the living room floor. But restraint, and Asakura's untimely return home, cooled them down, and the rest of the evening was spent in affectionate commiseration between the three friends.

Yui slept in Saito's arms in his bedroom that night, fully clothed. His body was flushed from being so near to her, without guilt of the elusive Tetsuya, or the past trials cropping up, but they had all the time in the world. She wasn't going anywhere.

Saito held his girlfriend close and finally fell asleep.

End for now

The middle scene was all KittyLynne's fault. Her and her Tasuki and Miaka fanfiction. I thought, well, this is a what-if scenerio. And did it happen? That's all up to Suzaku really.

Like it? Please review. There will be more.

Most sincerely penpaninu 11/04/05


	13. Chapter 13

This chapter is dedicated to any who read my FY fanfiction. I sincerely hope not just Miss Lynne is reading this! (laugh here)

I'll be moving next week and won't have the internet from the 16th til the week after. But I hope you all stay tuned until I post again! I will hopefully be posting for my Yash story before the 16th!

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Fushigi Yuugi in any way shape or form, but does claim to see the Mysterious Play in life.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter thirteen

by penpaninu

Yui lived with the Sukunami's for a few more weeks, while she checked on Naisen's status, all the while dating Saito and keeping up with her work at the school. Now, two weeks later, Asakura asked Yui to move in with them.

'He said it was so Saito would stop pouting when I go home with Miaka and Taka, but I think Asakura wants me around too,' Yui thought after she finished talking to Tetsuya by cell phone. Did Saito's twin brother have a crush on her? She would ponder on this later….

"Yui!" Saito waved, and greeted her with an affectionate hug that lifted the counselor's feet off the ground. Yui laughed and hugged his wide shoulders.

"You're going to squeeze me too hard each time you do that!" she smiled happily as she was set back down. Her fine young man smiled sheepishly but grinned widely down at her.

"I take it Asakura talked to you, huh?" he asked, hands playing with the edge of Yui's blouse. Yui batted at his hands, but giggled, leaning up to move his mussed bangs out of his eyes.

"He did! I think your brother has a good point," Yui smiled and kissed Saito. Saito grinned but looked brightly down at her.

"Do you want to move in with me?"

"You know I do," Yui answered. People walking by stared as Saito yelled eagerly in response.

"So, Yui-chan is moving in with her new boyfriend?" Taka asked, rubbing his eyes. Miaka giggled, leaning against the counter beside him.

"She sure is! Hiroshi will miss him though," she smiled happily. She made a mental note to visit Tetsuya, as well as her brother and Mayo. But she was genuinely happy Yui had chosen what she felt best for her.

Her husband groaned and rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Now maybe I can have some time with you without fear of intruding upon our guest!"

Miaka sighed but gave Taka an indulgent kiss on the cheek. "Maybe you shall! You have to admit you'll miss Yui-chan though. I've missed having her around so often!"

Taka grimaced but forced a smile. "Okay, okay, I'll miss her plenty! We'll still see her at work though."

Miaka pressed against Taka's back from behind, pressing against his magnificent form. He was as muscular as a familiar friend from her past, and as warm…. Taka's sigh and gentle hands were as familiar to her as the very first embrace from Tamahome.

Taka mistook the gesture and sighed heavily in arousal. He turned in her arms and picked her up with his strong hands.

Miaka squealed happily and held onto her husband's neck, as he carried her to the master bedroom. Even ducking around Hiroshi's playtime outside, he could still make her feel they were newlyweds.

'Tasuki has his feelings resolved. I can say goodbye to him…. from the bottom of my heart,' Miaka thought. She focused her being onto her Taka and was glad of the security of his embrace, and the convictions of his love-filled actions.

Suzaku's fire wasn't as high as the brief moment frozen with his warrior of flame.

The morning of Yui's move passed quickly and peacefully despite the circumstances. Both brothers went with her to lift and move the things she had left at Tetsuya's apartment, although Asakura was the one who knocked while Yui and Saito exchanged confidant words in the lobby.

The tall man wearing shades opening the door could only be Tetsuya-san and Asakura stood straighter. "Good morning Tetsuya-san. I'm here to help move Yui-san's things," Asakura greeted politely.

Tetsuya smiled readily enough and was polite but one could see the small amount of strain creased in his brow, and in his painful smile as he let the young college student inside.

"So….Yui will be staying with you?" Tetsuya asked softly. Asakura nodded, and mentally slapped his forehead.

"Yes, but I just happen to live with my brother! I'm Saito's twin brother, Boshin Asakura," Asakura offered, extending his hand in an offer of goodwill. Tetsuya almost laughed in relief, and shook his hand.

"Well then! It's nice to meet you," the older man laughed. Asakura reflected that Tetsuya would get along better with him than with Saito. It was his brother Yui wanted to be with after all. He was just there to help the both of them.

"Like-wise, Tetsuya-san!" Asakura laughed. "You know, if you want to reach her, you can have our home number…."

Tetsuya waved one large hand. "I still have her cell number in case of emergencies. But, I thank you for the offer, Asakura-san."

"Don't mention it, Tetsuya-san…" There was some commotion in the hallway and both men looked up to take in the new couple as they knocked and nervously made their way forward.

Yui stood side by side with Saito, but their hands were not joined. Asakura could only think that maybe in their own way they were trying to keep Tetsuya-san from feeling too overwhelmed, or upset. How like Yui-san, though. Sukunami-san's loving nature could only pass to her dearest friend in this world!

Not bothering to think on the archaic nature of his thought processes, Asakura stood back and let his twin introduce himself to Yui's ex.

Yui held her breathe and waited for something to go wrong. But nothing did. Tetsuya was an absolute gentleman and her eyes grew moist with tears at the careful way he dealt with her new beloved. He may have just tapped into his business side to 'finish this transaction' well, but he didn't rail at or berate the young reincarnated soul.

'One day…I will tell Tetsuya that he's Suboshi. One day….' Yui thought. But that day was not today. She had no idea how her first love would handle that fact. Or Saito, for that matter!

Watching Saito and Tetsuya move side by side with Asakura to lift boxes and carry them to the twin's car below, Yui could only wonder how long before all would notice who the two young men had been in the last life.

Yui, Saito and Asakura moved her belongings into the Boshin apartment rather easily, and with several more jokes now that they had bid Tetsuya-san a good evening. Saito laughed more and Asakura opened his mouth to jibe at his brother and friend.

Blushing red from a joke Asakura directed to her, Yui could only hope these good feelings carried them onward as they were supporting all three at once.

Saito carried Yui's things into his bedroom and declared she could decorate them as she saw fit. Yui went to work, but not a lot of change was needed as Saito was a man of simplicity and his bedroom reflected this.

'No pictures of half-naked women….well he may be young, but he's a step up from the rest!' Yui thought, half-giggling from the memory of Miaka informing her that Tetsuya and Keisuke used to exchange porn magazines through their college-entry days. They said it was 'to survive the stress' of the time, but both women merely had sighed at that.

Asakura ordered dinner in for the three and mealtime was spent with pleasant company and warm laughter as the pair of identical men warred against Yui with their chopsticks over the choicest selections.

Anticipation was heady tonight and Yui found she was hurrying through her nightly ritual. Saito's flurried movements reciprocated her thoughts and their eyes blazed when meeting.

Asakura wisely bowed out of the tail end of dinner and took off for a bar or a movie. He hadn't really made it clear to which he had decided as he was in a hurry to get out of their way. An idiot could identify what was going through Yui and Saito's heads through each heated gaze and silent exchange. And he would give them some privacy their first night living together.

Almost waiting to hear the front door close to signal when they could start, Saito held Yui's hand, his eyes earnest and hot with passion. At the click of the door, the two met in deep kisses, stumbling across the apartment to get to Saito's room.

"Yui… _Yui_ ," Saito murmured huskily, his heart coming through in his lust-filled movements. Yui moved against him in passion but her heart clenched gladly. This tall beautiful man loved her and she was here for him finally.

The lights from the city illuminated Saito's dark bedroom as a former priestess undressed her reincarnated warrior. At each inch of flesh she uncovered, her eyes gleamed and traced, as well as her hands. Saito stood stock still, his chest rising and falling dramatically with his pent-up emotions and the sensation of her smooth fingers upon him. She even knelt to untie his sweatpants and press kisses along his stomach and thighs, which was arousing and sweet all at once.

When she stood, his naked arousal jabbing her lower belly, Saito took his turn to remove her clothing, albeit clumsier. Yui did not reprimand his eagerness, for she looked flattered really. Her eyes shone in the blackness of the bedroom as his large hands cupped and stroked, committing her form to his memory. His touch was worshipful for his age, but reverent and Yui's eyes dampened remembering Suboshi's easy smile just for her.

How he had wanted to hold her this way….Yui wrapped her arms around his neck and strong shoulders, pulling Saito down for a glad kiss. He groaned happily and laid her gently across his bed. His large hands were on her breasts again and his head lowered to the curves he held. Yui's head tilted back and a low moan was dragged from her upturned throat as her young man treated her like the finest silk.

When she pulled his face up and moved her legs around him, the satisfactory smile on his lips told her he'd wrap himself in her, which made the silk analogy rather funny to her all of a sudden. Yui squashed a giggle as that may give her young man the wrong idea, and ran her hands over him, wanting him. In each gesture she let him know she was his.

Saito arched his tip against her and Yui moaned. His eagerness to get her here made him realize he had forgotten contraceptive and he lay over Yui in a hurry to reach the bedside table. He slid the drawer open, palmed a condom and knelt back, tearing at the latex wrapper. Yui sat up and kissed his shoulder while he focused on the damn wrapping.

Once his large fingers tore the wrapper open, his smile was large and triumphant.

"Hail the conquering hero," Yui teased. Saito grinned too but moaned deeply when his girlfriend's hand wandered low and squeezed his length. He throbbed in her hand and Yui watched him in amazement. He was truly magnificent…

"Wait, Yui, let me get this on," he whispered and rolled on the condom with a minimum of help. Finally they rolled back against each other and Saito pushed himself into Yui quickly.

They had both waited awhile for this so the hurried rush was fun but now they both gasped, filling one breath together in the small room in a Tokyo apartment building. Stretching and stretched, they were as close to heaven as they could reach in that tiny room.

Until Saito thrust against her and Yui's hands moved up and down his sweaty back as her legs squeezed him close. Harder and faster they slid against each other, breathy moans and gasps uttered against the louder sounds of the major city outside of the window. They heard and felt only each other and when they reached a peak at the same time, heaven was definitely reached and the rest of the world drowned out.

Seiryuu blessed this union, Yui thought fuzzily when Saito leaned against her, heaving in exaggerated breath. Her ears were so stopped up they may as well have been filled with water. She could hear only Saito.

"Yui, I love you," he murmured, his eyes closed tightly. Yui kissed his sweaty brow and rubbed the large expanse of his back. He was rather heavy so she tilted him to the side. But she didn't let him go from her.

Not that she needn't have worried. Throughout the night, Saito's hands sought her again and again. They made love twice more between resting and sleeping. In every way, Yui was made to feel loved and needed.

And she was glad to have the chance to know Suboshi again and finally show him that she had loved him.

"Stay away from her. Stay away from Yui-sama!" He screamed and ran after the tall dark-haired man who cursed and took off running. What a bastard! He'd make him chase him the whole way down the alleyway!

"Suboshi! Let him go," the most familiar voice in his world made the young man turn and he panted in frustration as the blond girl made him stay at her side. He would always be by her side, but damned if he'd let that bastard just get away!

"Yui-sama…what did Tamahome want from you?" The young man, Suboshi, was that his name, asked of the blond girl. Yui was so young. Her hair used to be so short. Why did she look so upset?

The girl's hands clenched around her cape and she folded the garment around….a middle-school uniform? He didn't know Yui when she was in that grade! He would have been in grade school!

"Never mind that! Just come with me, Suboshi," Yui ordered and the young man bowed his head, frustrated. Why must she treat him like this? He wasn't a child! He was a man and he loved her. He always tried to prove to her he could take care of her wants and needs, whether they be listening to her study, or guarding her on the journey through Sairyou.

Saito opened one eye, the sharp cold of that snow-filled ancient town disappearing from his senses. Just what the heck kind of dream was that? Why had he dreamed about Yui in middle school? He was several years younger than her, not the same age. Why would he be so young with her at that young age?

Yui lay against his arm, bare and warm against him. His flesh responded to her closeness but Saito merely held her close and closed his eyes. Dreams were funny things, but Asakura and Yui would say they were the key to memories or wants. He didn't want Yui to be upset with him like she _had_ been in the dream. So why would it fall into the category of memory?

Yui sighed in her sleep and pressed closer against him. Saito's lips spread in a wide smile and he drifted back to sleep against her. Best not to worry about weird dreams. He didn't need to dream again now that he held in his arms what he had always wanted.

Naisen clasped his hands together and sat up straight, as he was being considered by a few grown-up couples. He was slender and tall for his age with that shoulder-length blond hair and bright blue eyes, but he hoped the most strict of these middle-aged couples could perhaps be swayed by his fervent hope to be someone else's son than be judged by his half Japanese heritage.

At Naisen's side, a skinny boy crossed his fingers and shoved his hands into his pockets. He tried to act nonchalant, but Naisen knew he was as terrified as he was that he wouldn't be considered or picked that day. The stay at the foster care was a new experience, but Naisen was learning to let his guard down slowly and surely for he knew he would never have to go near that tall office tower of his father's again. No one knew what had happened to Yasunori-san, but the rumor that Naisen heard from overhearing his caseworkers, was that the powerful business tycoon had fled on a 'business' trip and escaped police questioning. He could only run so long, and the police still wanted to talk to him, but Naisen feared money and influence were powerful tools in this world.

It had always been important to have, Naisen reflected, his small clasped hands shaking as an elderly woman stooped to look into his eyes, and seeing their blue color, dismissed him and moved onto the next child. Naisen let out a slow breathe of air and tried not to show he cared. But he found these days that he did care, quite a lot.

A care worker had gently informed Naisen that his half-japanese blood may turn off many potential parent figures. He looked too much like a European cast-off, that most may not notice he was part Japanese at all. Naisen merely nodded, and prayed to a nameless god to let them see his heart.

Hongo-sensei had promised as soon as his foster care was arranged, he would still be able to attend the school he had been at since his first year. It was too close to where his family used to live, but Sadako still was near, and Hiroshi too, and perhaps Toya. He never did find out where that kid lived, but Naisen found he missed them and hoped they weren't forgetting him.

Yui pushed through the office doors and smiled seeing the small group of young children waiting for scrutiny. She recognized Naisen right away and laid a hand on his shoulder. Naisen lifted his blond head and brightened, the smallest of smiles darting across his lips. He had had a dream about Hongo-sensei last night, and it didn't feel too good, but she had trusted him and believed in him. And he had been so tall and so strong, that no one could harm him….Sadako-chan was there too, and she had loved him, but Naisen didn't know why he didn't let his heart bleed as it did now….

"Hongo-sensei, you came to see me?" Naisen grinned hopefully. Yui nodded and took a seat next to him.

"Your friends at school made you this in hopes you'll come back soon," Yui smiled, handing a paper card to the young boy. Naisen's hands shook and his smile stretched to his ears as he opened the card to see the childish kanji and his friends signatures scrawled across the expanse of the paper.

"Thanks, Hongo-sensei! Please tell them I hope to be back!" Naisen grinned, tucking the card into his pocket. Yui smiled and hugged her young seishi around the shoulders.

"So, how are your prospects?" she asked. Naisen sighed a boyish sigh and filled in his school's guidance counselor. As Yui laughed or smiled, Naisen found himself more content than he had been in years.

Sadako sat on her family's apartment balcony, Ash frisking at her ankles. She watched for the bright constellation of stars that had blinked so familiarly to her a few months ago, but they were hidden, obscured by the clouds and the city's natural light pollution.

Naisen hadn't come back to school yet. But the police had come for his mother, and his raving father, and movers had come to pack up the whole apartment. Naisen was staying with foster people until they figured out where he would be living, or if he would be adopted, and Sadako hoped with all of her young heart that Naisen _would_ be adopted, but that he would still be close to her.

She missed climbing over into his balcony, and hugging him far into the night before school! She missed their few but serious talks of dragon gods, cascading waterfalls and working for the land and its people. Naisen seriously groused that they knew their duty to the land far better than their ruler had, but the thought was too complex to pick apart with their seven-year-old and eight-year-old minds.

Ash whined and nuzzled his mistress' leg. Sadako smiled, and picked up her puppy, her hair loose from the usual confines of bun braids. "We'll see Naisen-kun again one day! I'm sure of it," she assured her animal brother. Ash's eyes shone and he licked Sadako's cheek.

A young boy swept a shrine front walkway and paused to lean on his broom, looking up into the sky in hopes of seeing the constellation of stars that had intrigued him before. His shaved head shone in the lights of the city at night, and the sounds rose high in his ears but the young monk's assistant closed his slanted eyes trying to focus, but to no avail. It was far too noisy. It would always be far too noisy at a temple in Tokyo, and he missed the small village temple his family had solicited him to first. But this roadside temple had a prestigious standing, having survived air raids during the second Great War, and having been erected far early in the century, a few years before the shrine's current owner had been born.

"Mitsuko! Mitsuko-kun! Come inside!" The old lady called now and the young boy shouldered the broom, smoothing his robes carefully with his free hand.

"Yes, Yuriko-san!" he called, and made his way into the temple to aide the old priestess. He would try to watch the stars another time. Although, he wished that tall blond lady would return to them. He had a feeling he owed her something, but he wasn't sure what it was.

Mitsuko slid open the temple doors, bowed and entered. "What is it you require, Yuriko-sama?" he deferred to a far more elaborate suffix to show respect.

"Have you settled all the flower arrangements in today?" Yuriko asked, hands clasped for prayer as she knelt seiza-style. Mitsuko nodded, and went to boil water for tea for her.

"Hai, great lady," he responded respectfully. Yuriko clapped her hands twice, spoke not a word for several minutes, and finished with a short chant.

"Shall we share a cup of tea before I let my son take you for mediation?" she asked, her wrinkled face cracking into a wide smile.

Mitsuko grinned in response, his slanted eyes shining. "Of course, my lady."

The priestess and the monk's assistant shared a quiet cup of tea.

Toya held his delicate bathrobe together as he peeked around his parents to try and catch a glimpse of the evening sky. Those stars weren't out swirling and flashing as before, but that didn't mean they wouldn't ever again, Toya thought to himself.

"Where are you going, young man? We need our beauty sleep do we not?" Toya's father asked, coming to the sliding door with his face bathed with beauty cream. Toya never did tell kids at school that his father used the same beauty treatments his mother did to keep himself young for the screen, but there you had it. It was no wonder he was so articulate and pretty for his age when you had parents like _that_ now was there?

"Coming, father," Toya called, and folded his hands elegantly before himself. He hoped Naisen-kun would return to school soon. It just wasn't fun with Hiroshi-kun calling the shots.

Saito and Asakura sat side by side on their apartment's small balcony, cross-legged and leaning against the glass door to stare out over the city's nightlife.

"You and Yui-san getting on okay?" Asakura teased and his brother socked him in the shoulder something good.

"What do you think, ototo? We're getting on great," Saito grinned happily as he listened to the hustle and bustle of Tokyo's nightly activities. "It's not disturbing you is it?"

"Yeah, all the girls don't want to be here because Yui-san is," Asakura bemoaned jokingly. Saito laughed and clinked his beer bottle against his brothers in mock commiseration.

"Well that's too bad! Because I love her," he confessed quietly. Asakura nodded and sipped his beer.

"Yeah, she's great isn't she?" Asakura added. Saito whistled and laughed.

"She just makes me so freaking happy, bro. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't have gotten to be with her," Saito murmured. Deep in his mind's eye, he remembered throwing something….what was it? He was throwing something with intent to kill against a man he hated. Why did Yui-sama care so for him and not?….

Saito rubbed his eyes. These strange thoughts were cropping up far too often. He had Yui now, she was his girlfriend, and she loved being with him. When she had told him she loved him a week ago, he thought he had stopped breathing.

'This is as close to heaven as I'll ever touch,' Saito had thought. Yui was his heaven, and he could be a man when he was near her. The other comrades hadn't mattered…

"Aniki? Bro, you okay?" Asakura nudged his twin in the side. Saito shook the cobwebs from his mind and forced the thoughts to stay. His brother, he had always been with him. In their mother's womb, and maybe beyond…. how else did their God know to send them to the same woman together?

"You got the stars in your eyes, Aniki. What are you thinking?" Asakura asked. Saito leaned on his twin's shoulder for comfort and sighed happily.

"I think we finally got what we always wanted," Saito confessed strangely. To his surprise, his twin brother nodded.

"I feel the exact same way."

Tasuki knelt on his hands and knees and set to scrubbing the tiled floors of Suzaku's shrine with a fervent desire to clean and not play around as he once had liked to. Chichiri swept by him, his shoulder covering sweeping around him grandly as he seemed to survey his fellow warrior's work.

"Oh, you missed a spot, Tasuki-kun!" Chichiri joked cheerfully. Tasuki looked up under his mop of red hair and gave a bark of laughter.

"Then why don't you get your skinny butt down here and help, Chiri!" the fire seishi laughed and sat back on his haunches. He opted for sandals, loose pants and a sleeveless tunic for the work he had taken upon himself. And while he wasn't so dressed up as he usually liked to swagger around looking as, his jade earrings still dangled from his earlobes, and his strands of beads hung around his neck settling in the hollow beneath his throat. They swayed with his scrubbing movements when he set back onto the tiles with a vengeance.

Chichiri tapped his staff on the tiles, the top jangling for attention as Tasuki grunted and scrubbed earnestly. "I never knew you to be so pious, Tasuki-kun," he added seriously. "Did something happen to make you see the light?"

Tasuki grimaced, but it was a happy contortion of pain as he sat back on his heels, scrubbing rag dangling in his large hands. His braid dangled over one shoulder and he pushed it around to his back as he contemplated his words. Chichiri watched him, impressed that his once brash and brazen friend was contemplating how to go on. Usually he blurted out what was on his mind and while this was a frank and honest way of expressing oneself, he was clearly going for tact this time.

"Well, Chiri, Suzaku did visit me recently… that night you 'couldn't find me,' " Tasuki laughed, his eyes shining in remembrance. Chichiri nodded, noting instances in the past where his patron god had taken him aside in time and space to declare deeds that needed to be done, or to whisk him to Taitsu-kun's mountain personally.

"What did Suzaku Sekun ask of you?" Chichiri asked. Tasuki thought long and hard then grinned.

"He didn't ask me anything. I asked him something," he laughed. Chichiri took off his mask, revealing a stern expression of longing. How he had worked long and hard for their lands' god! Whereas he would never ask for reward, it was clear that Suzaku had favored a change of Tasuki's heart and had granted him a boon…..

"Well what was it, Tasuki-kun?" Chichiri smiled, his scarred visage pulling with the expression. Tasuki smiled widely, glad his friend was showing him his true face for this serious confession of passion.

"I asked Suzaku himself to send me to Miaka. I had to you know…. apologize," Tauski flushed in anger and embarrassment, and scrubbed at his bare neck vigorously. "And then we got ta talking! Miaka's doin' so well, Chiri, Taka's working a good job, and she's looked after well and hell they even have a kid. Portrait of him looked good," Tasuki went on and Chichiri nodded, waiting for the real conclusion his friend obviously wanted to talk about.

"Go on," Chichiri urged, kneeling down instead of sitting cross-legged. A small amount of decorum was allowed as they _were_ in Suzaku's Shrine after all.

"Well, I told her my feelings. I finally was able to tell her, Chiri. And Chiri….she said…." Tasuki flushed as red as his hair, as red as the flame he conjured with his beloved tessen that swung from his left hip as he knelt on the tiles.

"She said I didn't need to try so hard. And…Chiri, I kissed her," Tasuki murmured, brushing at his reddened face with one wrist. Chichiri nodded, waiting for his friend to continue.

"I'm glad you were able to tell her, no da. I'm glad Miaka cares for all of us," Chichiri said. Tasuki nodded vigorously.

"She said that she loved all of us! And me….maybe not the way I love her…but I was able to tell her. And she took it well," Tasuki went on, his eyes far-off and not part of Konan as he reminisced. Chichiri clasped his hand over his friend's shoulder.

"I'm glad for you, Tasuki-kun. Did she take being kissed well?" he asked lightly. Tasuki flushed even deeper if that was possible.

"We uh….I don't know what happened, Chiri! But I think we were made into one," Tasuki confessed and went on to explain the surrounding of Suzaku's flame that carried both of them on a tide of powerful passion and longing, taking them away to a pocket of time and space perhaps where they knew only each other.

"I really think that we….and Chiri, I can die happy now! Miaka accepted all of me, I know she did, and we….." Tasuki flushed again and shut up.

Chichiri held one hand up in reverence to Suzaku and nodded a silent prayer of thanks to the Phoenix Beast God. "Then I think you did. Suzaku took you both away that moment for perhaps that. Miaka has always had a large heart, and I'm truly glad you're part of her deepest affections."

Tasuki looked forlorn a moment, then wound up laughing happily. "She's one hell of a woman, Chiri!" he exclaimed.

"That she is, Tasuki-kun. Come on, I'll help you wash the tiles," Chichiri suggested, taking off his shoulder wrap and rolling up his tunic sleeves. Tasuki made room for him and the two scrubbed away on their knees.

"You're only doing this because Suzaku let you hold Miaka, no da?" Chichiri asked. Tasuki threw a rag at the monk.

A young boy watched the children on the playground, his finger in his mouth as he contemplated who to ask to play. A little girl ran by, her purple hair pulled back into a neat braid and ran into him.

"I'm Nana! Come on, why are you standing here?" the little girl asked pushily and the young boy smiled. His short brown hair was combed neatly and he clasped his hands shyly.

"I didn't feel like running! But I'll race you," he offered. Nana brushed her dress off and took off.

"You got a deal! Hey, what's your name?" Nana called. The boy smiled.

"Mareshi!"

"Okay, Mareshi, come on," Nana urged. The parents of the children smiled and sat down to watch over their offspring.

In the heavens above the other world, Suzaku and Seiryuu locked elbows and watched their reincarnated souls.

End for now

Why did I name Suboshi's new life as Saito? Well, I not only needed a Japanese male name that started with the letter, but I happen to be a Shinsengumi fan. I'm not just talking about the character of Saito reflected in the Rurouni Kenshin series. I'm talking about the real life figure at the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate. Many animes and stories have tried to rekindle the feeling behind the Shinsengumi Shogunate police group from the end of the nineteenth century, with some interesting views or so, and I find the whole looking back almost nostalgic although I myself am not Japanese.

I am a fan of history though, as well as mythology, and the ideal of a team of samurai formed to 'keep the peace' during a time of civil war seems almost romantic. However the Shinsengumi were employed to keep 'rebel' samurai out of Kyoto affairs, not to employ flowery images of rugged samurai who try to uphold a three hundred year political system. Although they worked for the Shogunate, they were strictly Japanese and an Emperor was always on the throne, just never in power. I find that I myself respect Japan for keeping their sacred imperial line (Said to be descended from the sun goddess Amaterasu-sama) where other countries did away with theirs as a sign of out-lived politics.

Times change and countries go through upheavals and forced movements, but Japan is blessed in that they cannot let go of something sacred. I've been told historically and politically they may be cursed in that almost sense of being 'unoriginal.' I find certain traces of tradition admirable and their quiet passion….I don't have a word for it. I try to remain emotionally unattached but even my heart swells when I scream "Banzai" , even if it is before a Legend of the Five Rings tournament. Baka gaijin I am.

Anyway! I enjoy the Shinsengumi's part in the end of the Tokugawa era. I just saw an anime from the wondrous works of director Kon Satoshi where the Shinsengumi had a background cameo role during the walks through Japanese eras and history highlights. Watch "Millenium Actress" today.

The twin thoughts are from rl experience, as I am the elder in a set of identical twins. I love my other half far dearly as we have a close link. My younger sisters have seemed to tap into that close link, for all of us get along far too well. I like to think we were 'meant to live now' together as we are.

Nana is pronounced differently, and is a Japanese name! Ten points if you name the soul. And Mareshi as well. I was keeping in tune to keeping the same first letter for the new names.

Like it, hate it? Please review!

Most sincerely yours, penpaninu 11/12/05


	14. Strange Inclinations, Awakening Powers

This chapter is dedicated to Fushigiyugi fan, Ledefey, and KittyLynne. I hope you all enjoy. Please review.

The scene with Houki, Tasuki and Chichiri was written solely for Miss Lynne! I hope to begin our story soon!

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Fushigi Yuugi in any way shape or form but does claim to see the Mysterious Play in life.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter fourteen

Strange inclinations and Awakening Powers

Saito sat up in a cold sweat, his eyes wide and frightened. He had been dreaming contently at Yui's side when the dreams had gone horribly wrong. They had hurt him so much and he had been so alone, yearning for love. Saito scrubbed his palm across his eyes and ran them through his sweat-soaked bangs. Yui moved slightly and murmured in her sleep. Saito's eyes softened and he laid a protective hand over her hip. He blushed when his girlfriend arched into his touch and he laid his arm over her middle.

Why would he have such alarming and disturbing dreams when he finally got everything he had wanted? Why did his heart bleed when he remembered…. no he wasn't remembering. He was dreaming. If dreams were a glimpse into the subconscious, why were his troubling him so?

Saito nestled his chin against Yui's shoulder and inhaled the sweet familiar scent of his beloved. Yui smiled in her dreams and he was momentarily content. She was happy by him. He would try his hardest to keep her that way.

Asakura woke suddenly, his body drenched in a heavy sweat. He was assuaged that the wall separating his bedroom from his twin brother's was silent, that he could not hear any amorous advances or love play. Asakura scraped his palms over his eyes and leaned against his upturned knees, his elbows holding him up. Of all the things to dream about, a raging torrent of a river, and a woman's anguished eyes meeting his and her lips parting to scream his name.

"Chiriko!" she had screeched. His heart had clenched even as he smiled, to take himself away from the guilt of hurting her. 'My name isn't Chiriko. It's Amiboshi….Amiboshi….' And the world had gone dark.

Asakura wiped his tearing eyes, his face set in a grimace of grief. What was wrong with him? Why was he dreaming about that guilty deed so much? He had done something so horrible, yet she had forgiven him. Would his Aniki have forgiven him? Of course he would have!…. Asakura banged his fist into his head and thought he was going crazy. Why would he be thinking about his own twin in the past sense, the way way WAY past sense?

He wasn't sure if he believed in past lives, but these thoughts and these dreams were too frequent to ignore. He'd have to ask Yui-san what she thought about all of this. His thoughts must have been close to the mark for when the young college student stumbled to the kitchen a few minutes later, his eyes glimpsed a bare leg and kept traveling up to a half-revealed thigh. Asakura's eyes must have been bugged out and he must have made some small sound for Yui turned sharply, Saito's large shirt flying around her legs.

"Asakura! I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she asked. Asakura ran a hand through his mussed hair and gave a weak grin.

"No you didn't wake me…" Well you did, but I can't say _that_ now can I? Asakura clasped his hands before his waist and ambled forward to open the refrigerator. Selecting his jug of apple juice, he leaned back to sip directly from the carton. Yui watched him apprehensively and Asakura found himself blushing. She could tell him and his brother apart, so why did he feel like wanting to test her?

"What is it, Yui-san?" he asked. Yui smiled and set her cup in the sink.

"Oh, nothing…. Are you sleeping well?" she asked. Asakura spit out his juice and stared at her.

"Actually…I was hoping I could talk to you about something…." Hours later when Saito began to wake, Yui parted from the troubled brother and darted back to greet him properly.

Naisen walked to school, swinging a new backpack happily. Hiroshi leaned over with Sadako and whispered a joke that made the girl laugh. Toya pushed past Hiroshi and seemed intent on annoying Sadasko when Naisen smiled and raised his hand in greeting.

"Hey," he called, walking up. Three heads turned. Sadako squealed and ran up to the tall blond, throwing her arms around him. Naisen looked down at the top of her head with a smile and patted her back.

"Naisen-kun! You're back!" Sadako blushed. Hiroshi grinned and ambled up. His dark blue hair hung long to his collar, reminding Naisen of somebody. Hiroshi should tie his hair back or get it cut, he thought idly. Toya darted up behind Sadako and tried to get as close as the girl fortunately was.

"Does that mean you have new parents?" Toya asked sweetly, his face spread in a wide smile. Sadako pushed at the pretty student and looked up into Naisen's face, intent on looking only at him.

Naisen smiled down at his friend and put his hands on her shoulders. "Well, I came back to school, didn't I?" he asked. His friends voiced agreement. "Maybe you guys should come over after class."

"Why not? I can spare the time," Toya smiled, his eyes slanting mischievously. Hiroshi clapped Naisen on his slim shoulder.

"We'll come over, Naisen-kun," Hiroshi promised. Sadako nodded, her eyes shining. Naisen walked into the school with his friends and waved hello to Sukunami-sensei in the hall. His brow hurt when the tall dark-haired man waved back, but he felt at ease nonetheless.

Taka Sukunami waved at his son and his new friends, watching them scamper off to their respective classes. His brow hurt. That had to be something with his past live as Tamahome. Miaka would know something about that, but for now his day held teaching children and mugs of coffee with sweetener, and a lunch with his wife and Yui. He would leave matters of the past life where it was.

A tall round businessman made his way down the residential streets, checking on a slip of paper held in his chubby fingers. So the boy had been adopted recently. It really was a shame that he wouldn't be at his beck and call for pleasure, but that was the way of business. Deals come and deals go and that blond boy really had been quite a prize. It was fortunate the only price he had paid for his mouth and body was his father's own allegiance.

Yasunori chuckled and pocketed the stationary paper, straightening his expensive suit. Such a shame the boy had told on the father, and Shindou Tadaka sent to prison. Shindou Naisen was an exquisite entertainer and he would give anything to have a piece again. Then again, Yasunori now knew where he lived and where he walked to school…..it couldn't be so hard to arrange a blip in the boy's daily schedule to steal him away for a tryst.

It was so hard to just walk away after seeing that tall beauty of a boy run into classmates and laugh and shine in the morning sun. But he would have a chance later. And Yasunori never hedged on bets.

Asakura walked into the kitchen. He set his university books onto the table and paced to the refrigerator. Beer or juice? Beer or juice? But hearing the front door open and Yui's greeting, he decided on the more innocent beverage and poured the liquid into an anime mug and stood, sipping as the blond breezed in right behind him and peered into the refrigerator.

"Not much in here…Asakura, do you think you could give me some list ideas for the market? If I'm going to make dinner tonight, this won't help much at all!" Yui laughed, shaking her hair loose from its simple bun. Asakura's cheeks flushed as he took in her simple beauty. It must be maddeningly to even think idly of Yui-san this way. He resolved to control himself and cleared his throat.

"Well I think that would be a good idea…to go shopping that is," Asakura finished lamely. He blushed as Yui put a hand to her mouth and laughed prettily. "Going to surprise Aniki, huh?"

Yui nodded, making her way around the kitchen. "I haven't cooked him a formal meal yet and I think he would like that… " The counselor blushed, staring off into space. "He does so much for me and I could give him all of me…"

Asakura had a mental nosebleed, imagining the connotations of that and snorted, reaching for some Kleenex. The blood swelling stayed in his brain, only giving him some rather erotic thoughts and he gratefully dabbed at his clean nose. "Well then! I'm sure Aniki would appreciate it…I can go out if you two need."

Yui chuckled warmly and tugged affectionately at Asakura's long sleeve. "Sharing this home does not mean I drive you out of it whenever your brother and I are intimate! You're welcome of course to a home cooked meal in your own apartment." Asakura's heart swelled in gratitude and he clasped Yui's shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Well then, you have me sold! What are you cooking exactly?…."

Saito came home from a grueling meeting with the manager at Dragon Scales to hear his brother laughing in the kitchen. The longest his brother stayed in the kitchen was either to study at the table, or to drink a few beers. He sighed and put his book bag down, sliding his shoes off in the entryway.

"Asakura, I've told you, to mix gently!" Yui chided as Saito peered around the corner. His brother was stirring something on the oven with great care, but generous splatters across the counter and his shirt indicated her gentle chastisement was in good intentions.

"I'm trying, Yui-san.." Asakura said, staring down at the bubbling pot. Yui wiped her hands on a washcloth and turned, catching her boyfriend watching.

"Welcome home, Saito," she smiled, laying down the cloth and coming to kiss him. Saito hugged her and shared a long kiss.

"What's going on?" he asked with amusement as his twin groaned and took the pot off of the stove.

"We were trying to finish this up for dinner!" Asakura wiped the sweat from his brow. "How was the meeting with Boss Man, Aniki? Did it go well?"

"It went okay, but he had a lot to vent about," Saito informed his brother, squeezing Yui's waist and letting her go. Asakura watched them both with a small brief moment of sadness and washed his hands in the sink.

"He's not upset I didn't show up, is he?" Asakura asked idly. Saito was leaned down so Yui could whisper in his ear and the two giggled happily together. Asakura's heart clenched in longing.

"Huh? Oh no, Ototo, don't worry about it! He knew you had class. Then…shopping with Yui," Saito grinned, his hazel hair hanging into his eyes. Asakura politely set the table and held out Yui's chair for her.

Dinner went well and happily. Asakura was genuinely confused to his heart's desire the past few days. Walking in on a half-dressed Yui going for a midnight drink seemed to have inflated these longings. Sure he was a man too and she was a desirable woman, but he would not get in his twin brother's way. Saito had found happiness first and he would just have to deal with.

It didn't mean he couldn't stop talking to Yui however. Especially with these memories he did not have from childhood.

"Yui? Could I talk to you for a minute?" Asakura had asked after the dishes were done. Yui tied her hair back and gave the other twin her undivided attention.

"Sure, Asakura. What's on your mind?" She made sure to hold her focus as her counselor's job, but kept a friend's face for Asakura.

"Well, there are these thoughts that keep coming to me….and I'm sure they're things I'm remembering. Would you have anything to know about it?"

Oh, shit. Yui's heart raced. "How much do you know?" she asked. Asakura looked at her curiously and filled her in.

Tasuki gripped the edges of his chair nervously, having the sudden urge to swing his knees together and then apart as he watched his empress. Houki-sama delicately took up her teacup and he did the same hurriedly, remembering some bit form of protocol that one drank after the most high. Houki-sama was quite a lady in that she didn't fault his somewhat still course manners. Tasuki could only grin at her and thank her silently.

"Chichiri-sama has informed me that you were able to meet the Suzaku no Miko once more," Houki-sama breathed genially. Tasuki turned stark red and he coughed, almost spitting out his tea.

"Fwah! Your Eminence! That is…well yes, Suzaku granted me a wish…" Tasuki began, laughing nervously. Houki-sama set her cup down and her senior maid leaned forward to refill.

"Suzaku-sekun himself granted you a wish?" Houki looked genuinely surprised. She folded her slender hands and leaned forward slightly. "Did Suzaku have any plans for the country? Or was this merely a reward for your services?"

Protection for a woman he had loved. Seeing her smile and laugh was reward enough, but being granted something even further….. her open arms, her body in want and promise, her molten warmth clutching him tightly….Tasuki was certain he was getting light-headed remembering what he could of that deeply emotional spiritual boon. His pants tightened and the ex-bandit coughed, pounding one large fist against his chest.

"Eh heh! I'm sure it was a granted wish, your Eminence. Suzaku said I did enough…." Oh I did enough this time… Tasuki smiled to himself and blushed.

"You seem to be quite taken with the Suzaku no Miko," Houki gently commented. Her gaze and tone brooked a level of commiseration Tasuki could not quite understand. Why would she be so kind that he loved Miaka, a woman of spiritual standing he had no business longing for?

"I am, your Highness! I don't think it was…. appropriate for the time to reveal my heart to her," he made out. Houki smiled, her eyes crinkling kindly.

"I think you and I have an understanding, Tasuki-sama…." Houki began.

"What do you mean, your Highness?" Tasuki asked in confusion. Behind the maids flanking Houki's chair, a tall male attendant lingered, obviously listening.

"He's been doing nothing but turning bright red at mention of Miaka-san," Chichiri poofed into view and sat down next to the startled bandit. He held his hand out politely for a teacup and smiled his thanks when one was pushed into his open palm.

Houki-sama smiled gently as Tasuki jumped then cussed out the monk for appearing so quickly into their conversation.

"Shit! You gotta stop doing that, Chiri!" Tasuki said foully. Chichiri waved a 'naughty' finger at his brother in arms, and sipped his tea courteously.

"I was under the impression tea with the Empress was for us both, Tasuki!" Chichiri said brightly, almost whining in his playful high-pitched voice. Tasuki nudged the monk's arm roughly and cursed.

Houki clasped her hands together and the male attendant behind the maids inclined his head and slowly darted out of the chamber hall.

"I enjoy talking to each of my husband's comrades, Chichiri-sama. Tasuki-sama, perhaps you and I could continue our conversation later," Houki gently suggested. Tasuki nodded his head like a marionette.

"Wait, how come? I'm not the best person to carry a civil conversation," Tasuki stated the obvious. Houki waved her hand for more tea to be served to Chichiri.

"Because you and I have something in common," Houki said. Tasuki watched her in genuine awe. What did she mean by that? Chichiri only smiled knowingly and a few halls away, Shuntaka escorted Boushin-sama to his next lesson.

Yasunori walked down the crowded sidewalk with careful conviction. The blond boy was a mere twenty feet before him and he had to bite his tongue to keep from running up and grabbing him too quickly. Remeeting a pleasurable acquaintance was a rather delicate bit of business.

Naisen's eyes grew wide as his thin arm was suddenly grasped by a meaty hand, and he was flung away from the main street. "What are you?" he started to gasp when the other hand clasped over his mouth. Naisen howled noiselessly and tried to bite down.

A throaty chuckle was uttered by his ear and the blood leaked from Naisen's face, paling him. "So you thought you could be away from me forever. Your father may not hold your lease, but I do now…."

Naisen hung limply in the president's hands, his mind numbed to what was happening. No, this couldn't be taking place! Did the gods truly hate him so? He thought had had gotten away! It was going to happen all over again! Just like before…he would never stop being somebody's whore!

Naisen sobbed wordlessly when Yasunori's hand dropped from his mouth and turned him to him. He was pressed against a large powerful form and Naisen bit his lip as the tycoon pressed his arousal against his slim form. No…. this won't happen to me again!

Naisen's brow ached so badly he thought his head would burst, but he had the power. He knew he could make Yasunori leave him alone! The president looked down in amusement as the boy clenched his fists then his façade of mirth vanished when blue light surrounded the child's fists. His forehead was lit with an intricate ancient symbol suffused with the same blue light as his skinny body.

"What are you!…." the man got out before pure unadulterated power lashed into him. Naisen screamed and extended his life force, beating Yasunori down. The business man shrieked in fear as cuts opened and bruises were pounded into him without the boy laying one hand on him.

Naisen laughed hysterically as pure power made him feel strong and he watched the taker of his innocence battered down to the asphalt. The older man begging only made him want to hurt him further. The old familiar rage swelled up in the tall boy and he rode the crest of it with unsurpassed glee.

He was the strongest! No one would ever hurt him again! No one would ever make him feel low! No one…. Yasunori groaned and fell to unconsciousness and the moment passed. Naisen lowered his fists and his power died away. He staggered and put a hand to the side of the nearby building to steady himself.

Why did that hurt him much more than Yasunori? He was sure the man would never want to seek him out again….all of that pure strength…but Naisen was sick with it.

He fell to his knees and cried.

End for now

Like it? Hate it? Please leave a review! Sorry this was so short!

Penpaninu 12/06/05


	15. Memories Surfacing

This chapter is dedicated to Miss Lynne, Ledefey, Nuni-chan, Fushigiyuugifan and the black panther. Thank you for continually being consistent in reviews

I was asked to update soon even if it was short, and well in the context it's short, I listened! I listened and made this top priority.

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Fushigi Yuugi in any way shape or form. Does claim to see the Mysterious Play in life however.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter fifteen

Memories Surfacing

Naisen scrubbed his hands in the bathroom sink, his wrists and fingers pink with his efforts. He bit his lip, choking on his sobs to try and keep quiet. He couldn't let his foster parents know. They wouldn't want him anymore. They wouldn't let him live here anymore. Naisen looked around the clean and nicely decorated rest room, his eyes reddened and swollen from crying. What was he going to say? He looked a wreck! And his forehead looked bruised!

Naisen turned off the water and buried his hands in a fluffy towel, fiercely rubbing to dry quickly. His forehead had hurt so much and then there had been so much power… what was that? He had done it before, he was sure of it! Naisen turned to look back into the mirror, squinting and rubbing at the mark. Something showed up when what happened earlier went on, he knew it. How could he remember that when he had never done it?

"Naisen-kun! Are you all right?" a sweet feminine voice outside the door. Naisen bit his lip and opened the door. His foster mother was a plump but kind woman, and she always smiled for him. He was told he was a joy to have around as she and her husband could not have children by conventional means, and Naisen found himself trying to make himself wanted even more so he wouldn't have all of this taken away.

"I'm fine…Mom," Naisen stammered. It was what she wanted him to call her, after all. The term put a smile on his foster parent's face and she patted his longish hair.

"I hope so! Did you play rough at school today? Your face looks bruised…." Her chubby fingers traced his brow and Naisen's eyes filled with tears.

"What is it, Naisen?" she asked, her eyes wide with concern. Naisen clutched her hand in his.

"Please, can I go see my friend Hiroshi really quick, Mom? I'll be back before you know it," Naisen pleaded. His foster mother smiled and patted his thin shoulder.

"Go right ahead! Just remember, dinner will be ready soon."

Naisen grabbed his jacket and dashed out of the apartment, waving. His friend may know what was going on. He had no idea as he ran down the sidewalk that someone else at the Sukunami household would hold the answers he had wanted.

"Mama, the neighbor's dog is after that cat again!" Hiroshi called out. Miaka poked out of the kitchen into the garden, brandishing a wooden spoon.

"Oh…you leave that cat alone!" Miaka called. The dog hissed at her over the top of the adjoining fences and then backed down out of sight. "I hope the stray's okay!"

"Don't worry, Mama, he got away in time," Hiroshi smiled, hugging her waist. Miaka brought her arm down around his shoulders and squeezed him.

"I'm sure he's thanking you for the rescue," Miaka winked. Hiroshi hummed a childish song then squinted over the garden's fence.

"Hey, its Naisen-kun, Mama! Hey, Naisen!" Hiroshi called, waving. Miaka let the tall blond boy into the small garden and greeted him happily.

Shindou Naisen could not meet her eyes and kept scuffing his shoes on the ground. "Hi Sukunami-san….hey, Hiroshi, can we talk?" Hiroshi beamed and went off down the sidewalk with him. Miaka watched over her shoulder as she stepped back into the kitchen. She had the instinctual urge to stay near and have a word with Naisen when he came back in. Something had happened to Nakago's incarnation and she knew he was hurting.

A few moments later, Hiroshi popped back in, loudly announcing Naisen's departure. Miaka dried her hands on a dishcloth and darted back to the garden.

"Naisen-kun!" she called. The tall boy froze and turned to meet her. His eyes meeting hers were frightened orbs of confusion. He looked as if he had gotten into a scrape earlier and was trying to keep it secret. Behind her, Hiroshi hopped anxiously from one foot to another, obviously hoping she would not come to this conclusion.

Naisen's small hands clenched and he clasped them together. "What is it, Sukunami-san?" he asked in a small voice. Miaka's eyes moved back over his face and she stifled a gasp to the bruise over his brow. Had…. had his celestial symbol appeared? Had he used his power? Her slender fingers moved over the boy's brow and he winced noticeably at the soft touch. His eyes radiated hurt and confusion up to her and Miaka's eyes softened. She knelt and held Naisen's shoulders.

"You know, that no matter what strange things happen, you can come to me and Hiroshi's father," Miaka said seriously. Naisen watched her, his heart in his throat. That she, she herself this wondrous lady, would offer this vow of protection tore his heart asunder. Why would she after…all he had done to her and her friends?… Naisen gasped, shaking the cobwebs from his mind.

"I'll remember, Sukunami-san," he whispered. As Hiroshi looked on in wonderment, Naisen clutched Miaka in a hug. For one moment with everything going on…he felt safe.

Miaka held the tall boy in her arms and patted her hand over his longish hair. When Naisen's arms tightened around her neck, she whispered that she would watch over him.

Miaka sat on the living room couch, talking to Yui on the telephone. After some casual teasing about her current living situation, Miaka got down to business and brought up the subject of Shindou Naisen's visit this evening.

"And you said his…forehead looked bruised?" Yui asked in surprise. She sat up straight, her brow creased. Asakura tapped her leg with his foot, teasing her and Yui grinned in response. Then she turned back to the conversation at hand, keeping it coded for her company's sake.

"It did, Yui-chan! You know what I mean, don't you?" Miaka twisted the cord of the room's phone in her fingers. She watched Hiroshi lie on his tummy, watching tv before her, and Taka walked back in, carrying school papers to grade. He sat on the other end of the couch, swinging his long legs up to tuck over her lap. Miaka giggled and rubbed his shin idly as she listened to Yui's verbal affirmation.

"Of course I do, Miaka! It means…. you know that Saito's brother has told me of….'dreams' he's had," Yui went on in a hurried rush. Miaka's eyebrow raised.

"That's interesting! So he's… remembering? What about Saito, Yui-chan?"

"I haven't heard anything from him if he is…. but I wonder why they would have to remember anything!"

"I think it's important to know who you were and what you did," Miaka said mysteriously. "Even if it doesn't mean anything in the world than you happen to know who you are and where you stand."

"Miaka, you should write horoscopes," Yui moaned. "You seem to always have the right answer!"

"Well everything but math. Hiroshi doesn't ask me about that subject anymore!" Miaka giggled. Yui threatened to throw something at her over the phone.

Taka raised an eyebrow, his kind eyes twinkling but silently asking for a bit more quiet so he could grade in relative peace. Miaka rubbed his leg with one hand, smiling apologetically to him. Taka smoothly returned to his student's papers. Miaka's smile faded dimly. Sometimes Taka could try and make her feel she wasn't as important for small moments of their life together. She shouldn't fault him for almost nine years of marriage that he wasn't trying to be a good husband, but sometimes Tasuki's brash grin came to mind when she was sad these few times….

"Well, Saito's giving me that look if you know what I mean!" Yui giggled over the line and Miaka smiled fondly.

"You two are still in the honeymoon state, hmm?" The once Suzaku no miko teased. Yui gave a sharp exclamation of surprise.

"Well, I had better go, or you'll hear something you really shouldn't!" Yui giggled. "Good night, Miaka."

"Good night, Yui-chan! Tell Saito-san hello for me." Miaka smiled. Clicking off the phone, she watched her husband and son. Hiroshi's shoulder-length dark hair was the same shade as his father's and Miaka hugged Taka's leg, watching them both. When Taka nudged her with his leg and murmured for her to stop distracting him, Miaka's mind drifted to firey passionate eyes and lips that seared her mind from conscious thought.

Asakura watched his twin brother across of the apartment. For a change, Yui was not home, and it was just the two of them as it used to be. Asakura was ashamed he would even for a moment in his mind be vindictive for the time alone with his brother, and resolved not to let any bad feelings towards Yui show or at all. He knew he truly enjoyed her company even if Saito liked being with her even more.

"How's the girl angle? Any prospects?" Saito asked, stretching his long legs in front of him. Asakura laid an ankle over his knee and regarded his twin. As of late Saito had been doing stretches and exercises in the rare instances he was home without Yui. Asakura was a little amused that where he and his brother were trim young men, his twin would even for a moment think he needed to keep in shape.

"You know how it is, Aniki! Not much luck over here. Now you on the other hand," Asakura teased. Saito blushed and laughed.

"What do you think about Yui living here anyway? I know I really didn't ask you…I just asked her to live with me. With us," Saito corrected. Asakura sighed.

"That's not bothering me, Aniki, it's something else," Asakura murmured. Saito sat up and crossed his ankles together.

"What is it?" But Saito was sure what his twin was going to say.

"I've been dreaming, Aniki…. and I'm sure it's not just that tense. I think it's remembering something…." Asakura began carefully. Saito tried to laugh it off weakly. Did his brother know? About the blood on his hands?

"Sure, I've been dreaming too. I mean, everyone dreams at night, you know?" Saito said weakly. Asakura shook his head, frowning.

"No. About another time before this one. We still knew each other, so you may have gotten it confused. But, Aniki, I'm talking about a whole 'nother life…."

Saito stared at his brother. "So you do know…." He whispered. Asakura nodded.

"I'm starting to believe in other lives because we certainly know each other many times! Do you know what I mean, brother? We were…"

Saito clasped his brother's shoulders in his hands. "I don't know what we were! But this is all too strange! Please don't say anything to Yui about it…..promise me!"

"But, Aniki.." Asakura's shoulder burned beneath his brother's hand. "I already talked to her about it!"

"You…."

The front door opened and Yui called out a greeting. Both brothers turned to regard the counselor as she took off her shoes and set her briefcase down.

Asakura settled his hands over his brother's and squeezed. Saito gave him an anguished look and let go.

"I was just talking with Miaka! And…. What's wrong?" Yui asked, noticing the twin's expression as they watched her shake her long hair loose from her bun.

"Yui, Asakura told me he talked to you about…. our dreams," Saito said seriously. His eyes were hurting orbs reflecting his anxiety. Yui swallowed and made her way forward into the living room.

"What is it you dreamed, Saito?" she asked. Saito gasped with relief that she still loved him, for her palm reached out and stroked his cheek tenderly. Asakura looked away.

"About….before," he whispered. Yui held his face with her hands and reached up to kiss him.

"Asakura told me some of his memories. What do you know from before?" Yui asked, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. She may as well have kept her hair up. She had some more work to do.

"Yui…. " Saito's eyes were anguished. "Do you really…love me?"

Yui's eyes filled with tears and she hugged him tightly. "Of course I do! I always did..."

Saito's shoulders began to shake and muffled sniffles filled the room. Yui rubbed his shoulders.

"Oh Saito… don't cry!" Yui whispered soothingly.

Asakura smiled and left the room.

The next day at school, Naisen confessed to Sadako during recess about what had happened. About the light, and more than what he had told Hiroshi. Hiroshi was across the playground, running interference with Toya apparently to give the two privacy. The tall blond leaned against the brick building, the slender girl at his side hugging her knees.

And Sadako knew, she knew that as strange as it sounded, Naisen had done what he said he had.

"You really hurt that bad man? Well he deserved it," Sadako tried to assure her friend. Naisen shook his head, long blond hair flying.

"But it hurt my feelings so badly even if he deserved it. Sadako-chan, how can you stand to be near me after I hurt someone like that? I really hurt him….."

"Naisen-kun…" Sadako began.

"I could hurt you…an Hiroshi an Toya…." Naisen whispered fearfully. Sadako turned Naisen's face to her and kissed him shortly on the lips. Naisen stared at her, his eyes bugged out.

"What did you do that for?" he breathed. Sadako flushed and smiled shyly.

"Seemed like the right thing. And I liked doing it," she confessed. Naisen smiled kindly, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Well it helped me anyway…" Naisen said. Sadako blushed and put her hand over his.

"Hey, is this still a private party or what!" Toya demanded, running up. Sadako took her hand from Naisen's. Hiroshi walked up behind the dramatic boy, his dark eyes shining with hidden knowledge. Naisen blushed and looked away as he nodded knowingly at him and Sadako.

"No, and it's good to see you, Toya-kun," Sadako smiled evenly. Toya flipped the ends of his long hair and sniffed, but Naisen could tell he didn't do it to truly snub her. He just enjoyed being the prettiest one in the group.

"Well, what's the mystery, Naisen-kun? And why can't I know?" Toya asked, plopping down on the concrete at Naisen's other side. Hiroshi sat cross-legged in front of the trio of Seiryu reincarnations.

"It's about someone Naisen had to fight," Hiroshi said gently when Naisen's mouth pressed together in a firm line. Sadako pressed her hand over his gently, unseen by Toya's sharp slanted eyes.

"So? I'm sure you won then," Toya said flippantly. Naisen sighed, and looked at his knees. His eyes were so sad…

"I don't like to fight. I can't hurt other people again…." Naisen whispered. Sadako squeezed his hand.

Hiroshi was silent but when he spoke, traces of Miaka's wisdom were in his words. "Sometimes it's okay to fight, if something you love is being threatened."

End for now

Like it? Hate it? Please above all else, review. It is crack for writers.

Most sincerely penpaninu 12/13/05


	16. Before The Years Pass By

This one is for FushigiYugifan, black panther, Nuni-chan, Kitty Lynne, Illusions-chan, iluvmitsukake and Ledefey. Thank you for reading. The story needs to come to a close, but will one day soon have a sequel. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not own FY nor is making any money off this five page wonder.

"My Dreams aren't as Empty" chapter sixteen

Before the Years Pass by

Naisen eased into his new home life with the help of willing parents. His foster mother adored his presence and his foster father was stern but fair, even giving him a weekly allowance, and he called him 'son.' In these content days, Naisen could only be grateful that whatever atrocities he had committed before he had been born in Tokyo were appeased and paid in kind. Or so he thought. He could never assume that everything was balanced for his deeds past and present.

He could only hope his invocation of power had scared off his continual rapist, and that he and his friends would know what to do with all of these memories and flashes of power. Toya had taken to collecting clamshells when Naisen's parents took them to the beach. Ash's eyes seemed to shine with grave intelligence. Sadako would not come out of a thunderstorm, no matter how sick she may get from being drenched in the torrid rains as she sang out to the lightning. And Naisen had to focus on calmness to keep his brow from splitting his head open from the surges of extreme strength that threatened to lash out whenever he grew angered or frightened.

Hongo-sensei had been extremely helpful in that. With the continued dreams of towering over a younger version of his counselor, Naisen knew he could trust her, as she had known him before. So it was Hongo-sensei that he had come to with his fears of losing control of himself. And it was Hongo-sensei that had taken him to a small roadside shrine to talk to a priest's assistant, a slight boy with a shaved head and slender hands, who waxed as familiar as Sadako and Toya and Ash had. Mitsuko had proven a very close friend, who taught the tall blond meditation practices to hone his focus and hold his chi from lashing out.

For, it was his immensely strong signature chi that had hurt Yasunori-san. That was what Mitsuko had said was powerful about him. In his visits to the shrine, Naisen became friends with the shaved boy and he learned to control his lashes of strength.

Hongo-sensei had even introduced him to her boyfriend and his twin, and these two identical men were as familiar to Naisen as well. Naisen could only think that he would know all of these friends as he once had, as life went on it's bends and curves.

Miaka made her son's lunch and kissed him goodbye. Hiroshi liked walking to school solely with his friends now so she would walk either with Taka when he would wait, or by herself if tidying up the household took too long.

The once Suzaku no Miko knew she was content as she had a peaceful time to love in her life that once knew naught but peril. The world inside the book had fallen on a time of war that the conflict between mikos, warriors and gods had revolved around, but Miaka need fear not that her peace and Yui's peace would be altered.

Suboshi had found a way to her and Miaka was grateful that her friend had found the love she had been apparently looking for. Tetsuya would always be as dear a friend to Miaka as well for years of involvement with her brother and their 'research' of the Universe of the Four Gods. But even Yui knew the comfort of holding a love from her past that she had never been able to explore. Tetsuya was a good man for her and any woman, but Yui had not fooled herself to marry him. And Tetsuya was all right. He was a better man for having loved and been loved by Yui-chan. Miaka was happy to know everyone who had been involved were having happy endings in one way or another.

Miaka wondered, in quiet moments like these before she headed to the school, whether Chichiri and Tasuki, her last two living Suzaku seishi, would find new life in her world. The thought of the latter brought a faint flush to her cheeks but Miaka was resolute. She would not forsake marriage and fidelity for another tryst, if their heated…. mingling in Suzaku's realm could be considered a physical... tryst… but Miaka was certain eventually Tasuki and Chichiri would pass on whether by illness or battle or old age and she would see them once more.

Miaka wondered what a young Tasuki would think seeing her in her mature age, for she would be so much older. Would he bow, bend the knee and kiss her hand like the chivalrous man he truly was? Or would he not even deign to recognize her? Either way, Miaka was eager to find her seishi. Perhaps Hotohori and the others had been reborn already! Shouldn't she be looking?

Peace. Love and peace. These things gave Miaka all the time she needed to come to grips with a half-worked search. Her seishi would find her if they were near. She knew this would be so.

In Hokkaido, a young boy with red hair played heartily with his brothers and sisters. His hair, a gaijin color, was repeatedly dyed by his parents. His father had been sired by an Irish-American, and that was where the rare color came from in the line. But in order to belong, one had to look like everyone else.

"Like my hair this way! I'm the son of Amaterasu!" the boy, a hale and energetic age of ten howled. The dying attempts only tinged the edges of his unruly hair, giving him a hip look that provoked his parent's anger that his head simply wanted to stay red like a tomato.

Chichiri walked down the corridors of Taitsukun's heavenly palace. His staff jangled with each pace along the tiled floor as he came to the throne room of the Celestial Creator. Taitsukun floated along and favored her student with a nod. Chichiri went to one knee and lowered his gaze respectfully.

Whenever he came to be taught, Chichiri would leave his scarred visage open as it was Taitsukun who taught him how to mask it. His eye glanced up. Taitsukun was in an especially mellow mood, but then again, he could only tell her moods apart as he had trained under her stern tutelage for years.

"Do Suzaku's borders fare well, Chichiri?" Taitsukun gruffly asked. Her floating scarf floated along an invisible breeze. Chichiri chirped a bright response, the corners of his more somber lips stretching slowly. He was in mourning but he would not let it interfere with his priestly duties.

"The children grow without fear of illness, the crops are bountiful and the young Emperor Reizeitei rules justly and intelligently. Konan is safe forever more," Chichiri intoned reverently. His heart clenched when he thought of his priestess, Miaka-chan, who lived an equal life of peace.

"Your last comrade departed these lands last month, did he not?" Taitsukun asked. Chichiri's lips stretched in grief and he nodded, his good eye tearful.

"Tasuki-kun was caught in a battle with conflicting thieves…. He received a wound and…died within a week. It must be Suzaku's plan. I remain confidant in Suzaku Sekun's celestial will as I ever do, Taitsukun."

Taitsukun favored her student with a small sad smile. "Yet you are alone, the last of your celestial brothers to go onto the next life. And you continue to serve the Phoenix well. No one can ask more from such a devoted pupil."

Chichiri bowed his head low, his long bangs flopping over his good eye.

"You flatter this servant, Taitsukun. My life has been to serve the will of Suzaku Sekun and the land." The years of cheerless duty and training pressed hard around Chichiri's head and he blinked, to clear his mind from petty wants.

"As you have exceeded your role more than I could have hoped," Taitsukun clasped her gnarled hands. "In the wake of such words, I hope you will undertake a delegation to the country of Byakko once more."

Chichiri raised his head and listened to the Creator's explanation. He would serve as he always had. The gods needed his aide as one of the sole surviving celestial stars and he would not shirk his duty. Chichiri was no stranger to duty and he smiled at his teacher.

"It shall be done, Taitsukun."

As it ever would be.

Yui lay on her back, arms over her head. She keened lightly with pleasure, contentment displayed in her features. Saito lay across her middle, face pressed to her stomach. He pressed small kisses across her damp flesh and looked up. Yui ran a hand through his hair, mussing the sandy tresses up further. She looked down and smiled, tracing the face she loved so well.

"You always show me how much you love me," she said in wonder. Saito smiled in the dark and kissed her fingers.

"I've wanted to show you... always," he whispered. Saito crawled up to fall into his girlfriend's open arms and they shared a sweet kiss. Their joining had been brief but heated. Life's blood had pumped hard as stiffened flesh and Yui took his seed eagerly in her climax. This night they had forgone the use of contraceptive as a deeper calling urged their bodies together.

"You don't have to prove anything, not with me," Yui promised, welcoming the slight weight of her lover as he held himself on his elbows so as not to crush her. Saito kissed her tenderly, and rolled to the side quickly. Yui sat up, watching him rifle open his nightstand drawer again. She giggled and kissed his shoulder, sweaty and chilled without the warmth of blankets.

"What are you doing? We don't need that tonight," the counselor giggled. Saito laughed and fished out something small and square. It sat dark and squat in his large palm in the near dark of their bedroom.

"I wanted to wait to do this but I can't think of the more right moment as right now…when I'm loving you," Saito confessed. He sat naked on the bed, the lights of Tokyo washing his bronzed flesh with brightness. When he snapped the box open, Yui gasped and knew what he was doing.

"Hongo Yui, you would do me the deepest honor any man could have in any lifetime if you would be my wife…. Will you marry me?" his voice huskily asked, light in tone and asking her approval. Saito was not on one knee, nor were they in an appropriate position for proposal, but Yui accepted the naked closeness of her lover far more dearly than if they were dressed up and out at dinner for this to happen.

"Yes, I'll be your wife, Saito!" Yui accepted the ring. Saito held her face in his hands and kissed her deeply.

Naisen and Sadako walked side by side. They were far too young to want to hold hands for very long, but each glimpse into each other's eyes told each other that they would be together far longer than most children at that age would consider. They were adults of the heart, but children of form.

"Naisen-kun?" Sadako asked, as they walked in one of those perfect moments they had not quite had before now. Naisen looked down at his friend and smiled slightly.

"What is it?"

"Will things stay as they are? Will we…still be friends always?" Sadako clasped her hands together with a slight tinge of worry. Naisen's large hands covered hers.

"We can't make promises we maybe won't be able to keep…" he began, but lifted the girl's chin gently. "But I think things can only get better."

Peace finally settled into the boy's heart and these reincarnated souls could live without fear of war or tyrants or conflict of the celestial nature. Their gods were content and their lands were safe. Life could go on and continue well.

Except for the story, which did end.

The End

I am sorry for the infrequent updates, but this story kept nagging at me to finish up. I didn't feel anything else could be done without letting the story drag on and get stale. So the few who read this, I hope this is pleasing to you, and I do plan on doing something of a sequel.

All who have reviewed, I thank you kindly and with fondness.

The name Reizeitei was on the Fushigi Yuugi Eikoden credits, and is presumed to be the adult name of Boushin when he reaches the Emperor title. That is my analysis, and if it is wrong, I apologize.

Most sincerely yours, penpaninu 1/05/06


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